I Don't Want A Job!

LegacyUser

Now before I receive a blizzard of abuse for being a waster, bum and so forth, I'd like to pre-emp all of that by saying I would prefer to have one, but at this present moment, don't want one in the foreseeable future.

Why?

Because I seem like a naturally clumsy person and don't feel comfortable in the work environment. I was diagnosed with a particular learning difficulty - branch of autism (despite my apparent high intelligence) and I don't know if this is linked into the problem. When I worked before, I was very slow and no matter how quick I tried, I received abuse for not being quick enough, and people noticed I wasn't happy that I wasn't quick enough.

Everyone seems to want a job and so forth, but I don't feel comfortable at all working in teams, groups, and even working solo, I'm so clumsy and get confused with myself for no apparent reason. I envy those that really want to work and make money, be self-sufficient, and are very efficient at performing their job.

So this is becoming a problem for me, because I don't like it at all. I just want to be like everyone else and do well at a job. I'm currently in a course (but deferred for one year) because I'm struggling to even work in groups in those classes. As you can see, it's a compete disaster.

Any recommendations are greatly appreciated.

You say you want to be like everyone else but you seem to be pretty efficient at making an outcast of yourself.

I'm not disputing that you're at a disadvantage, but if you believe all the stuff you've said about yourself, you'll always be at ten times the disadvantage you actually are.

It sounds cheesy, but you have to believe in yourself, mindset is a HUGE part of being able to work. Forget your learning difficulty, forget your previous experience of working, and forget that you normally feel clumsy/uncomfortable. Start with a fresh attitude. Everyone feels nervous, but they go in smiling anyway. Everyone gets flustered/clumsy, but they pick themselves up and carry on anyway. Everyone has moments where they wish they could say "I'm sorry, I'm just a disaster" and give up, but they don't. Bear in mind that these are the people you're competing with for work.

I mean this to be helpful, although I know it will sound rude. You have to stop making excuses for yourself. You're capable. You're mature. You're going to go out into the world and impress people and you're going to feel great for it.

Distorted

Sounds like you know yourself well, but are a bit too self obsessed. Working with groups, in teams, etc, requires more development of empathy, and to a certain extent, this is learned behaviour. So you can improve these areas if you have the right motivation. True, they may not be great strengths, but you should be able to become passable. I think you need to find your niche, and the only way to do that is to experience as many opportunities as come your way. Once you find your niche, you will probably find that some of your percieved weaknesses become strengths.

Don't give up, don't listen to any criticism that is non-constructive, and you will probably find that once you become familiar with things, you will speed up. It might take you longer to become familiar with things than others, but it is worth sticking at them as you need to go through the difficulties in order to get the improvements.

GreeBo

If you are finding yourself being clumsy, confused, distracted etc you might want to get checked for dyspraxia. There was an article in the Irish Times just yesterday (or possibly the day before) You might find it online (or various google results)

nyarlothothep

I don't think you're a disaster, I think the people working in Chicago Mercantile Exchange are disasters at their jobs, I think Cowan would be a certified disaster when he was in a job, I think someone like Rick Perry is a disaster but they all get by, mostly on bluster, but get by they do. Ergo I think you're beating yourself up, you may have things you can improve but just go with it and disregard the haters you may come across. If someone berates you for being clumsy that says more about their own personality or personal issues than it does about you so to hell with them.

I also think a lot of people hate working in teams, you have to deal with different types of people whom you may not like and you're stuck with them. However team work isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can actually be really good if you're on the same wavelength as the others. I guess it involves some degree of communication and listening but a lot of the interpersonal HR cod philosophy is overstated nonsense imo, although again it depends on who you're working with, some people actually believe in this stuff. You say you're intelligent, that's quite a considerable advantage which offsets those apparent minor disadvantages which can be overcome. I think you should use it to find your niche.

Firetrap

You're being too hard on yourself. I don't know how many places you've worked in but most workplaces employ all sorts of weird and wonderful people. You just need to find your niche. Despite what you think about yourself, you have talents and can be good at your job. For you own good, it wouldn't do you one bit of harm at all to improve your social skills. It doesn't mean that you have to be charm personified but it does help to listen to other people and cooperate.

baby and crumble

OP, if you've been diagnosed on the Autism spectrum then I know how hard it is to work in groups, concentrate, and not get obsessed with finicky details, meaning you'll take a lot longer to do your job. You need to find the best way to work around these issues.

You should be able to go to the disability service in your college and ask for assistance- you'd be surprised the array of students who get help ranging from people with physical and sensory impairments and those like yourself who are on the autism & aspergers spectrum. At the very least, the folks in the disability office will have experience and will be able to give you advice around lots of topics.

I'd also advocate for being honest with any employer around your difficulties, and your diagnosis. I have friends on the spectrum who have done this and once people know that you have the skills but need extra supports, the good workplaces will accommodate you- the have to thanks to the Disability Act 2005.

I'd second getting checked for dyspraxia- it sounds like something that may be having an effect on you. Oh, and autism/aspergers has no correlation with intelligence. At all.

nyarlothothep

Oh just to add, if you get turned down at a lot of interviews, don't blame your personality, the economic situation right now is dire and would account for the majority of job rejections, so don't blame yourself with that eventuality in mind.