How to be happy alone?

LegacyUser

I've had a really hard year... Was in a long distance relationship, which ended catastrophically. I won't go into the details but I got completely trampled and my world was turned upside down. As soon as that ended I jumped into another relationship quite quickly, that ended a few days ago... I've just started a new job, moved into a new house. Basically I have everything going for me at the moment, but my life is completely different to how I had planned it would be at this stage. I feel completely lost... I've lost track of several friends and I'm really missing the intimacy that came with my first relationship (4 yrs, first love). I'm struggling to settle into my work environment and feel completely alone. I live with good friends but still feel like I have no friends. I am trying to occupy my time with hobbies and try to discover who I am again and what I like to do, but to be honest I can't figure out what I like anymore. I havent been single in so long I've forgotten my own identity. I don't know what to expect from writing this here but I just had to get it all out. Any advice?

Arequipa

Hey! sorry to hear you are having a rough time.
I think you nearly answered your own question: you can take time out now to get in touch with yourself again.
I would mourn the end of your last relationship...get pissed off about it and then try and move on. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

This is probably a great opportunity to reconnect with yourself. I would recommend:
1) maybe going to see a counsellor/therapist for a few sessions: is great to unload and get + feedback.
2) I would try meditation...I practice Mindfulness Meditation: is really helpful.
3) I always recommend vigorous exercise when someone goes through a rough patch; let rip...walk, run, punch, spin classes, gym....5 days a week for 30 mins to 1 hour... but if you are unfit start slowly and build up.
Exercise releases feel good endorphins, tones you up, rids the body of nervous energy and relaxes body & mind.

I would try and slow down... breathe... listen to music...read a book.... really connect with the present moment.

Be your own best friend!

Hope this helps!

Arequipa

R.D. aka MR.D

Just give it time. Over a year ago i broke up with some one who i was involved with for 4 years, lived together, the whole thing.

After the initial upset about it being over i slowly started to realise how much i had changed while i was in the relationship. I used to be a really interesting, curious, fun person. I kind of stopped being that. It has taken me ages to re-find that person again. Now i'm back to being that curious person who loves life.

You just need to give yourself time and rediscover who you are alone. Just try different things and see how it goes.

As depressing as it is we all die alone so you need to know and like yourself above everyone else.

EmmaAstra

Try keeping a diary and breathing deeply and visualisation exercises. Meditation might be good too.
Take care of yourself

An Bhanríon

Take the next weeks and months as an adventure. You will be amazed what you will discover and amazed by what you can achieve - on your own!

And be good to yourself. After all, if you're not good to yourself, nobody else will bother being good to you. Smile and the world will smile with you.

And if you find the need to have a little cry and a moan every now and then, don't be hard on yourself. We all need that every now and then.

Best of luck!