Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

what is wrong with me!

  • 09-11-2011 12:27am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I feel like an absolute freak. im a 17 year old girl in first year in college and I have no experience with lads, but whats more, I dont really have any desire to improve that! I have kissed guys before, but never coz I wanted to, only because I felt I should, and I never enjoyed it ( it always seemed really awkward and messy, and I felt I was doing it wrong) Its almost like im afraid of guys? I think its because I always heard guys are only after one thing, and read stories about stupid girls who fell for guys and got hurt, and i never wanted to be one of those girls so I kinda unconsciously kept away from lads?
    Now it just feels like Im a freak, because I never want to kiss lads or anything, and the thoughts of another person seeing me naked sends chills down my spine!(ive a horrible figure, currently working on that)
    I guess Im just wondering if anyone could give me tips in how to loosen up around guys and stuff? if anyone was like me when they were younger Id love to hear it, I just feel like Im gonna end up being 40 with no experience of men and destined to be alone :/


Comments

  • #2
    themadchef
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,813 ✭✭✭themadchef


    Totally agree with Sunflower. it's not a race! I went through an entire 4 years of college without losing my virginity because i didint want it to be a drunken fumble. Not a sleepless night was had over it.

    Once you figure it out, once you get your game on.... well... :pac: ahem...

    Back to your question. There's nothing wrong with you :p.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here, thank you so much for your replies! Im just getting kinda worried, i actually considered the possibility that I was a lesbien, or asexual or something! I just never find the guys that are interested in me attractive, so the thought of kissing them really doesnt appeal, yet when I see really hot lads its a different story! But I havnt got the looks to corrilate with that :(
    Do you not think that guys will find it weird that I have no sexual experience?


  • #4
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP - I don't think you are a lesbian - chances are you would know by now if you were sexually and emotionally attracted to other women.
    Asexual - who knows that could have been the case however as you call out you are attracted to really good looking guys.

    One thing that did jump out at me (well as well as the 2 points above) is how you refer to yourself. Just wondering if you have really low self esteem - thinking you are not worthy of getting a "hot" guy... If so - then this could be affecting how you sexualise yourself. If you don't feel sexy inside then this floods into your relationships even potential relationships as well.

    It might be worthwhile doing some self-discovery, finding something about yourself you really like and enhancing that - basically build your self confidence and find that spark that helps you realise you are a sexual person. With self-confidence (not arrogance/aloofness) you will naturally attract guys -many of us love being around happy, fun women who are confident (not overbearing).

    Personally I wouldn't give up just yet - trust me - at 17 you have years ahead of you. It really does get better from here. Best of Luck.


  • #5
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 3,505 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    OP I wouldn't worry at all. You just want slightly different things than most people. I have the same thing myself.

    I had my first kiss at 15, and I'm 21 now and I've only kissed 4 guys. Ever! But two of those 4 kisses turned out to be relationships longer than 2 years. I tend not to tell people (although I wouldn't lie about it) because I know that most people would think the number strangely low, but it's just that I personally don't feel any desire to just kiss a guy for the sake of it. Even after a break up, people invariably say stuff like "are you gonna go out on the piss?", "who are you gonna get with?" and when they realise I've no intention of going out to meet guys "but do you not want to move on?". I don't find satisfaction in getting with random guys, and I don't think that I need to lock lips with someone to be able to emotionally move on with my life. I just don't work that way.

    Before I had my first kiss, I honestly considered becoming a nun so that I'd have an excuse for being alone! Of course I was 14/15 and didn't realise how stupid that was, but the pressure out there to want exactly what everyone else does can be such a weight on your shoulders.

    Do not let this get you down. When the right guy comes along you'll know it and he will too. Try to notice more than just guys who are clearly interested, as very often they're just trying anything with a pulse and it's no doubt you find yourself not attracted to them. Also, the naked thing. I know how completely mortifying it can be to think of yourself naked in front of someone, but again, when it's the right guy suddenly it wont feel so exposed. I really think you just need to wait for the right guy and ignore what other people expect of you.


Advertisement