Where did you meet your partner?

eaglach

I'm just curious as to the gay guys on here that have had relationships, where did you meet them initially?

When I think of most straight relationships it is very rare (in my circle of friends anyways) to hear of couples that met in a bar one night. It is mostly either through friends, or through some activity (work, sport, hobby).

The reason I ask is that if you were looking to meet guys (outside of pubs etc.) where would you go? I mean, you hardly meet potential partners doing your daily routine because there's no way of knowing if they are gay or not without asking them straight out (no pun intended).

Well thats the case for me anyways. As a straight acting guy, when I think of going to gay bars, or even straight bars in general, I think that most people there are out for hooking up. It just seems so difficult to find gay guys in your day to day life.

Sorry for the ramblings!

Sesudra

Met my fella 5 years ago online, and we're still going strong! That said, my last long term partner, I met him on a night out, so it just depends really, not everyone is just looking for hookups!

floggg

Of the straight couples i know, they got together on nights out. Even where they met through friends, they either met them for the first time on a night out with them, or else only got together on a night out.

Its not like guys in bars are only looking for a nameless hook-up - often you might score somebody drunk alright, but if you like each other, you'll exchange phone numbers and take it from there.

ixoy

Met my boyfriend through a friend at a Queer Beers. That was over six years ago now!

Conor30

floggg wrote: »

Of the straight couples i know, they got together on nights out. Even where they met through friends, they either met them for the first time on a night out with them, or else only got together on a night out.

Its not like guys in bars are only looking for a nameless hook-up - often you might score somebody drunk alright, but if you like each other, you'll exchange phone numbers and take it from there.

Most are though! A few are also out just to catch up with friends too!

floggg

Conor30 wrote: »

Most are though! A few are also out just to catch up with friends too!

Really don't think so. I go out to have a drink and some fun. If something happens, great but it's not the be all and end all.

Some people seem to have a really low opinion of gays. Going by the amount of people who complain about not being able to find a boyfriend alone, there seems to be a lot of guys out there looking for love!

baby and crumble

I do think most people are looking in the wrong places. I don't know many straight couples that are remotely long term who met in a nightclub- 1 couple did meet at a house party, but they were mutual friends of the host who hadn't met yet. Everyone else I know met either in college or just randomly. I met my girlfriend doing voluntary work in college. Yeah, it's a bit unnerving to make a move on someone in one of those situations without knowing they're gay, and probably a bit more dangerous for a guy than a girl. But still.

Rick_

I've been with my boyfriend since August of this year, but we have actually known each other for 4 years after finding each other online. Due to his location at the time (he was studying at university in England) we couldn't meet up but when he finally came home to Ireland earlier this year we decided the wait was long enough and we met. And I'm so glad we did!

ongarboy

I know most people think it's impossible to meet a partner at one of the gay nightspots but that is in fact exactly where I met mine almost 7 years ago (in the George). I don't recall being on the hunt that night, it just happened accidentally in that we were introduced by a mutual acquaintance and there was an instant spark. One of my closest female friends met her partner at a gay bar in Limerick and they are now together 4 years. So it does happen...just obviously not as often as people would like, I guess.

I think any gathering where there are a lot of gay people (pubs and clubs but also other social gatherings such as Wet'n'Wild, the rugby and soccer clubs as well as all those other sports and recreational clubs (dining/book clubs/choirs etc) are also opportunities for meeting someone as you have a pool of potential partners to choose from (and if not, you can make some great friends). Someone earlier just said Queer Beers was their meeting place!

BTW, OP, I don't think it's necessarily easier for straight people - go over to the Personal Issues or Relationships forums in Boards and check out the large numbers of posts by straight men and women who cannot find significant others and how they feel the straight nitespots are just meat markets full of ONS hunters...sounds familiar?? Although I admit, unless you live in one of the cities in Ireland, it is a bigger challenge for our gay rural cousins if they don't have these social outlet or opportunities nearby.

ongarboy

Paddy C wrote: »

I've been with my boyfriend since August of this year, but we have actually known each other for 4 years after finding each other online. Due to his location at the time (he was studying at university in England) we couldn't meet up but when he finally came home to Ireland earlier this year we decided the wait was long enough and we met. And I'm so glad we did!

Delighted to hear that Paddy. I recall you posting previously here about the difficulties of meeting that special someone. Hope this encourages others that it can and does happen!!

readyletsgo

Met my fella online about 7 months ago, but had been talking to eachother on and off over a year before.
Seems the Straights are meeting a lot more online now too, my best friend met a fella 3 years ago on FB, they didnt know eachother at all, now they live together and have a 1 year old little boy and engaged to be married! (lovely little story, they met just before my friend was heading off on a year off around the world with her other friend, she cut the travel short after 3 months away cause she missed him so much (crazy I know) and came back to the man she feel in love with!)

I have a feeling that meeting someone in a bar is kinda dying out. I know when I'm single I never went out with the mind set of finding a B/F, I went out for a pint with my friends and my mates would/still do think the same tbh. When I was in the late teens early 20's year the odd hookup but always out to meet mates more so.

Worlds a changin... :-)

spurious

Not a guy, but I met her ladyship through mutual friends who thought we would get on.

ninty9er

Waits for gaydar/grindr response. I wouldn't put those beyond the realms of possibility.

I've never had a long term relationship, but anything even remotely that way inclined was as a result of mutual friends. The only problem I find with that is that every Tom, Denise and Harriet jumps to conclusions every time they see you so much as say hi to a person they know is gay and they know you know is gay.

L1011

I actually first spoke to mine on Gaydar but didn't know I had when I first met offline...

allydylan

On a dating website actually. these things do work...sometimes

Rick_

Further to my post earlier, I met my boyfriend originally on a dating site, then we went to MSN, then texting and then eventually 4 years later we met in person on his birthday in August and have been together since.

BuffyBot

Online also

BanzaiBk

I have you all beat! Subway - Cork Airport :cool:
It's nice to see all those who met online and still going strong. Two of my best friends have met their other halves online, 6 years and 4 years together respectively

ninty9er

BanzaiBk wrote: »

I have you all beat! Subway - Cork Airport :cool:

That calls for an explanation :pac:

Locker10a

BanzaiBk wrote: »

I have you all beat! Subway - Cork Airport :cool:
It's nice to see all those who met online and still going strong. Two of my best friends have met their other halves online, 6 years and 4 years together respectively

ya! tell us more

DubArk

In Heaven.

BanzaiBk

ninty9er wrote: »

That calls for an explanation :pac:

Locker10a wrote: »

ya! tell us more

Wish the story was a better one now.

We both worked in the airport business park and just happened to go to the same place for lunch. GF admitted at a later date that she thought I was 'stalking' her coworker:o

topday

I met my other half in the George one Thursday night almost 6 yrs ago. I wasn't meant to be out but a mate of mine begged me to come in for one so I did.. We didnt speak to one other that night as I was only staying for one drink and I headed home ... that following Sunday I went out for another one drink and he came over to say hello to me and asked me for my number - we chatted for a while and I gave him my number and headed home. Before I got home he texted me and asked me out on a date and here we are nearly 6 yrs later. I only went out for one on that Sunday hoping I'd see him :-)

BettePorter

HERE !!!!! Well not here on LGBT thread but on Boards generally. I was commenting on something random and she was reading it and Pm'd me with her take on it and it went from there. And i couldn't have created a more perfect match had I tried. Everyday I pinch myself cause she is the most amazing person i have ever met ! We often talk about how, 'imagine i hadn't logged on at that time or commented on that issue etc etc'. We joke that we'll get boards to sponsor our wedding in the future !!So thank you boards.

Beruthiel

baby and crumble wrote: »

I don't know many straight couples that are remotely long term who met in a nightclub

I met both husbands in a nightclub.


I know my next door neighbours met in the George over 10 years ago.

azezil

Beruthiel wrote: »

I met both husbands in a nightclub.

Polygamist! :pac:

Conor30

readyletsgo wrote: »

Met my fella online about 7 months ago, but had been talking to eachother on and off over a year before.
Seems the Straights are meeting a lot more online now too, my best friend met a fella 3 years ago on FB, they didnt know eachother at all, now they live together and have a 1 year old little boy and engaged to be married! (lovely little story, they met just before my friend was heading off on a year off around the world with her other friend, she cut the travel short after 3 months away cause she missed him so much (crazy I know) and came back to the man she feel in love with!)

I have a feeling that meeting someone in a bar is kinda dying out. I know when I'm single I never went out with the mind set of finding a B/F, I went out for a pint with my friends and my mates would/still do think the same tbh. When I was in the late teens early 20's year the odd hookup but always out to meet mates more so.

Worlds a changin... :-)

Myabe a stupid Q, but how do you 'meet' someone on FB if you don't know them and (therefore) haven't them added as a friend?!

Conor30

topday wrote: »

I met my other half in the George one Thursday night almost 6 yrs ago. I wasn't meant to be out but a mate of mine begged me to come in for one so I did.. We didnt speak to one other that night as I was only staying for one drink and I headed home ... that following Sunday I went out for another one drink and he came over to say hello to me and asked me for my number - we chatted for a while and I gave him my number and headed home. Before I got home he texted me and asked me out on a date and here we are nearly 6 yrs later. I only went out for one on that Sunday hoping I'd see him :-)

So, the first night in the George, your eyes just met across the room but you didn't speak to each other?

readyletsgo

Conor30 wrote: »

Myabe a stupid Q, but how do you 'meet' someone on FB if you don't know them and (therefore) haven't them added as a friend?!

Friend of a friend of a friend on the FB. I guess through comments etc.

Beruthiel

azezil wrote: »

Polygamist! :pac:

Not concurrently you muppet.

OldNotWIse

In a gay bar

kisaragi

Met my current bf online Have gone out with a few people I've met in clubs/bars but since I have a rather... niche... type it's a lot easier for me to meet people online ^^ Doesn't make for very romantic stories when people ask you how you met your partner however

topday

Conor30 wrote: »

So, the first night in the George, your eyes just met across the room but you didn't speak to each other?

I was introduced to him when I was saying goodbye to my mates but yeah he seen me and vice versa so he went over to my mates to get info on me and that was it really - I said hello to him and then said goodbye to my mates..