I wouldn't commit suicide but...

LegacyUser

Well, not for a long time i.e: while my mother is still alive as it would cause her so much heartache, but I spend most of the time wishing I never existed in the first place. I have no friends so I would feel so ridiculous and bizarre if I went out socialising alone it wouldn't be worth it...people would probably think I'm a loser if I approached them.

These are supposed to be the golden years of my life and I feel like it's just passing me by. I can't help being irrationally begrudging when I hear or read about people having fun on night outs. I'm tired of hearing about people doing crazy things when they're drunk like making out with randomers and feeling so much jealousy. It hurts a lot when I read about guys on Facebook (reading it is natural curiosity) saying they were down the pub discussing the last football match they watched on TV. I feel so pathetic for being annoyed when a romantic scene develops during a TV programme and I'm even beginning to turn off the radio when certain songs are played. Sometimes I fantasise about a world where social lubricants like alcohol and soft drugs didn't exist so more people would be like me. I'm just so sick of...adult life being all around me.

Sorry if that sounds like a load of bitter bollocks, but I needed to vent so much.

dudara

Please take time to seek some professional help.

See here for some resources which you may find useful.

Thread closed

dudara