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What is wrong with me?

  • 03-11-2011 5:17pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Im 32 years old,i had my first relationship when 17 it was great for 2 years then i suddenly fell out of love but she had a serious illness so i wasnt brave enough to end it.

    We kept it going for another 3 years,of which we had a more like friends relationship,but i know she still loved me a lot,then she had a one night stand to shake me up but it didnt ,and i had my way out,It broke her heart.

    After 2 years i meet another girl with a 1 year old kid who ive raised as my own and fall head over heels again,
    after 4 years we have a baby girl ,nearly 8 years down the line and im in trouble again.

    I dont love her in a passionate way anymore,but do love her a lot

    Im not happy anymore but am willing to stick it out for the kids,and because im a coward,

    What is wrong with me

    thanks


Comments

  • #2
    Zen65
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭Zen65


    brabo wrote: »
    I dont love her in a passionate way anymore,but do love her a lot

    Im not happy anymore but am willing to stick it out for the kids,and because im a coward,

    Do you love her enough to make the effort to rebuild the relationship? Passions change over time, and if the relationship does not move and change with you then it can seem like a passionless affair. Talk to your partner and see if you can identify why the relationship is not making you happy.

    If it's simply the case that you aren't as frisky as you were as twenty-something-year-old's well unfortunately that's a feature of your advancing years. But a relationship can be improved with work, and passion can be restored within reason.

    Have you tried date nights, weekend breaks, exploring sexual fantasies, dressing up differently, exercise, walks together, make-overs, abstinence, etc etc? Your post gives very little information about your relationship other than it does not make you happy.

    Relationships take work, so when you ask "what's wrong?" I wonder if the answer is that simply you have not tried???

    I don't see a correlation between your current situation and your situation as a 17-year old. In the situation you found yourself the strategy of not leaving in order to support her through her illness was not necessarily "cowardly", it was pragmatic. If you had run a mile to avoid the difficulty of the relationship with a seriously ill girl some might have called that cowardly. If you walk from your current relationship without having made an effort to salvage it then that would be immature and cowardly.


    Be at peace,

    Z


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