Going back to college as a mature student with a small baby

qwertytlk

Hi all,
I am applying for college again this year and if i get accecpted i will be doing social care in d.i.t(hopefully). However iv just had a baby recently and if i go to college next sept my son will be 15 months old. I was just wondering what other peoples experiences are of going to college while having a young child at home. I will be in college mon-fri from 9 to 4 or 5pm, with the excpetion of maybe one late night and one half day, then obviously i would have assignments etc to do when i get home while also trying to spend time with my son and doing housework and that type of thing.
Im sure i will be able do it but im wondering how other people have coped with this type of situation. Is it really difficult to manage, or more appropiatley juggle, everything? Did you college work suffer? Or you relationship with your child?
Thanks

liliq

Hi qwertytlk,
I don't have experience of it yet myself, but I will in January when I've to go back to college, when my baby will be only 4 months old Thankfully I'll only be in college probably 2 days a week and will be able to work from home writing my thesis the rest of the time.
While I was doing my degree though, there were a few people on my courses or who I was friends with that had young children, and my sister in law just went back to college last September when her daughter was just turned 1, so they've been giving me tips!
It's definitely hard, firstly to be away from your baby so much when you are probably used to spending most of your time with him.
The two pieces of advise I can think of are; talk to your lecturers, tutors etc., if you have any problems at all. Many of them will probably have children themselves and know that college may not always be top of your list of priorities.
Also, you will probably have some free hours between lectures and tutorials so you can use some of it to get your assignments done, but don't put yourself under pressure to spend all your free hours in the library. Obviously you'll want to get as much work done in college as possible, but there are societies and clubs that you can enjoy during the day in college as well, and it might make the college experience really enjoyable. If you're not enjoying it, it will make it hard to stick with it.
Hope you get accepted and enjoy it!

Lola92

Hi Qwertytlk,

I started back to college in September this year when my daughter was 9 months old. I am doing a full time degree at the moment. It is tough, I'm not going to lie! What really does help me is knowing her child minder really well, so I have absolutely no worries on that front. Being able to trust her completely takes a huge amount of stress off!

Getting the balance right is the hardest part IMO. For me trying to find the balance between being a mum, student, girlfriend, friend etc. is hard - I still haven't got it quite right. At the start I put a lot of guilt on myself, but you can't do it all unfortunately. I had to focus and go back to education, because I know that is what is best for my family in the long run.

At her age there is something new every day. I felt so selfish for putting myself first so early but I decided it would be better to get over and done with before she gets to school going age! The first day I was late home she was in bed already by the time I arrived. I sobbed for about an hour, that was really hard.

Anyway on to some positives

Going back to college was great for my mental health I think. I love my daughter to pieces but I am more than just a mum. Meeting new people and being able to have adult conversation that is not all about kids and family is really refreshing.

I love the course I am doing, I love the people and mostly I love knowing that this was the right choice for us, that the sacrifices will hopefully be worth it.

Some tips I might advise are:
1) stay in college 9-5 if you can, even if you have no scheduled classes. I am far too tempted to play with the little lady when I am at home but I find if I go in early for an 11 o'clock lecture say, I can get a lot more done than I would at home. My one guilty pleasure is a half day Fridays - start of a long weekend with my little lady :P

2) When you get home forget about lectures, assignments, presentations, reading you are behind on or whatever. Enjoy a few hours with your family and if you want to do some more work then wait until baba is in bed!

3) As said above let your lecturers know that you have a small one at home, and that you might need a little lee way with regard to an assignment at some stage. Most of them should be fairly understanding.

4) If you can, join a club/society/college gym or whatever takes your fancy. It is great to have another outlet for stress and of course a lot of fun! Plus a chance to get to know some people outside of your course.

Best of luck with your application! If you have any more questions then ask away!:)

Jenniflower87

Hi qwertytlk,

I only finished college just before having my little lad so don't have any experience in that, but my partner has just started in university this year as a mature student when my little man was only 6 weeks old. I know its not completely the same as the mam going back to college but he still finds it hard.

He is doing Social Science, so if you need any advice or tips with this course I can get him to get in contact with you.

I wish you the best luck and I think that this is a fantastic thing that you can do for yourself and your family and your a woman to be admired

littlefriend

I'm in my final year in college as a mature student (I'm 38) and am due my baby on December 7th. My Christmas exams are due to start on December 10th so I more than likely won't be doing them! I worked out with my lecturers that I'm doing long essay assignments in lieu of 3 of the exams - I'll have to do the other 3 over the Easter break next semester.

What I have decided to do in January is to go back and do 3 rather than the 6 modules I have left and then next September do the final 3. Its far from ideal but its the best way I can think of doing it. Also, the father of the baby has decided not to be involved so i'll be relying on my family to help me out on the days I am in college.

I'd advise you to go to the mature student advisor in your college rather than just one of the regular advisors. I went to one of the regular advisors first and he was pretty useless tbh. The mature one was much more practical, supportive and encouraging.

I've just realised that this doesn't answer any of your question! Sorry!

Moonbeam

It is no harder then working full time and once you have childcare in place you will be fine.
The main thing is having people to mind the child at times other then just when you are in college.

qwertytlk

Thanks everyone for the replies.
My sons dad can mind him when im in college, is after college that im concerned about. For example, if i was in a full time job, when the working day os over at 5 then the evening is mine to do as i please. However with college thats not the case as id have to come home annd work on assignments etc. I just feel il never get to spend any time with my baby...he probably wont know who i am. I want to be as involved in his lfe a s possible, obviousy, so the thought of not being kills me. In the long run i know it will be worth it though...its just going to be hard for a while i guess:| thanks x

carfiosaoorl

Hi qwertytlk- My kids were 20 mths and 3 when I started college. The hardest part for me was leaving them all day but my kids were in a creche. If their Dad was minding them I would probably have been fine.
I tried not to do college work at home until they were in bed because when they were up I got bog all done anyway I just stressed us all out. I found that if their Dad minded them for a few hrs on a Saturday and I went to the library I got much more done. Good luck with your course:)