Invited to party. would you go?

LegacyUser

Hi everyone, seeking some advice on a situation. Im in my thirties and Ive fancied this girl for ages whose 24. I kinda gave up on trying it with her ages ago and left it. Recently bumped into her again and she suggested coffee. So we met and had a good chat. Im pretty sure we are in the friend zone. Then a week later she's invited me to a party for halloween. The thing is she lives with very young university students as in 18. I dont know what to do. A part of me is saying she wants me there for a reason, ie. romantically. The rational part of me is saying how ridiculous a situation it would be, me in fancy dress, trying to get along with a load of teenagers. Am I just being really negative or should I face reality and leave it until a better opportunity comes along. The party's this weekend. Thanks in advance to anyone who bothers to reply.

Distorted

Hmmn. Maybe she is trying to find out if you will fit into her life. Maytbe the things you have suggested to her in the past don't interest her and she has fun with her housemates. At any rate, this is an invitation into her life. If you don't feel comfortable with what is basically her life, then why are you romantically interested in her anyway? Would you expect her to change to fit in with you?

Fancy dress is brilliant fun, and helps you hide behind a costume, if you are worried about fitting in, and a pretty typical thing for a 24 year old woman to go to.

username123

Go to it! It could be mixed ages - other people could be inviting older friends as well. And if she is 24 then maybe she would prefer some older company to her housemates friends?

Just get dressed up and go - if its terrible you can leave. But you dont go you'll be kicking yourself.

KathleenMcCabe

Go for it. Who knows? You might have a fantastic time!

karaokeman

Just go, the girl you described seems to be interested in you.

If anything she invited you because she wants a date for the party (you didn't mention it was the girl's party so that could be another sign).

As said above you will regret it if you don't go and if you do go and don't enjoy yourself at least you have the option to leave.

anongirl123

You should go for it. You have nothing to loose by going and if you feel too uncomfortable you dont have to stay for long make your excuses and leave.

LegacyUser

Just thought Id update what happened. Got to the party too late at 11pm, everyone had left. So I texted her to ask whereabouts. Went to the club she was at, had a mate with me by the way. Texted back and forth trying to find eachother, couldnt, then her texts stopped. Obviously being the drunken fool I am, I kept texting saying stuff like 'stop being rude come and say hi'. The final text as I was trying to get a taxi went 'cant get a taxi. what are u up to'. I was hoping there was a party or something, but now I realise that it sounds like a booty call. So no texts from her the day after, I was up the walls hungover so had to text to try and make it cool again, just said pity we didnt meet, hope you had a good night...no response.
Now correct me if Im wrong. This is what it looks like to me. She construed me not getting to the party on time as not being interested. She genuinely tried to find me, was probably very drunk, and scored someone else. My texts became annoying, and crazily one sided, so she's concluded Im nuts and she's sending me a message by not texting.....time to move on...

LegacyUser

What kind of party ends before 11pm? If see can't be bothered to txt you back, move on...

wylo

lostinlove2323 wrote: »

Now correct me if Im wrong. This is what it looks like to me. She construed me not getting to the party on time as not being interested. She genuinely tried to find me, was probably very drunk, and scored someone else. My texts became annoying, and crazily one sided, so she's concluded Im nuts and she's sending me a message by not texting.....time to move on...

Nice analysis, dunno if she genuinely tried to find you though, (no offence), bit strange the party finishing that early, that said arriving that late is weird as well. Anyway sounds like it got weird when you started saying stuff like "stop being rude, come and say hi", and with that alarm bells probably rang in her head.
Move on, unless ye meet again by accident and you apologize , but I defo wouldnt text her again.

Distorted

lostinlove2323 wrote: »

Now correct me if Im wrong. This is what it looks like to me. She construed me not getting to the party on time as not being interested. She genuinely tried to find me, was probably very drunk, and scored someone else. My texts became annoying, and crazily one sided, so she's concluded Im nuts and she's sending me a message by not texting.....time to move on...

Probably right, apart from the first bit. I think you're overthinking that bit. But not bothering going to the party earlier, and continually texting her later makes it sound like you're just after one thing. Plus maybe she expected one advantage of an older man was that he would be a bit more organised and she wouldn't have to put up with all the drunken texting trying to find you somewhere out on the town kind of thing. Its all a bit of a mess really. I think she's fed up.

And yes, plenty of parties end around that time and then you go clubbing, its perfectly normal!

LegacyUser

thanks for the replies guys, yea I really made a mess of it...it was just the way it went though on the night in fairness to me...the texting was really stupid but it just felt weird as the club isnt that big...regardless it stings but best thing to do now is leave it...weird thing is I actually drove by her today by accident but chose not to beep or anything as it would have prob made it worse

LegacyUser

Ok I think Im being silly now but I think I have a good idea to salvage at least some face, as she knows a lot of my mates and would still like to keep as a friend.

I text saying 'Is something up? Ive just looked back over the texts and realised how bad it looks that Im sorry and I was just really drunk and genuinely they came accross with the wrong meaning'. Could be pushing it maybe saying at the end 'let me make it up to you with a coffee'?
Or just chance it that she's calmed down and just ask her for a coffee, and then explain?

Or just like anyone in their right mind, leave it...? How long does it take a girl to calm down? Or once you're tagged as a drunk/weirdo/etc is that curtains?