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Girlfiends of 12 years on and off?

  • 26-10-2011 1:10am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been with my girlfriend on and off for 12 years.

    In the past she has cheated. Always on the phone texting people but this is what annoys me her phone is always on silent. I hate been around her, I'm only here for my two kids. We don't have sex, we don't talk I do suffer from depression and sometimes my sex drive goes. But she goes off every morning comes back at 2. She says she is with her grandad but in my mind when she leaves I always picture her been with someone else.

    Her Nanny was dying and is dead now, here's the thing why would you have your phone on silent when a close family member was due to pass on any day. We don't talk and the truth is my life is hell. I really do love her when I try to talk to people they say it's in my head. She never leaves her phone down and is always on it. Why the silent though? My guess is so I can't hear messages/ringing.

    I did love her. But she use to act funny and I thought she was cheating, everyone said it was in my head. Then I saw messages from a guy this was new years night asking to meet up. We had a fight but what did she do? She still went out without me.

    The truth is when I'm not with her I'm happy and when I here I'm not happy. I grew without a father so I don't want my kids to go through the same.

    Is it worth staying for the kids. She cheated with about 5 other people that I know of. But this was before our kids were born. But that new years night our first child was already born.


Comments

  • #2
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    In-my head-our-what wrote: »
    Is it worth staying for the kids.

    No it isnt, in fact, it could well be doing the kids damage to be living in an environment where one parent is so unhappy and hates it so much.

    You can be a father without living with and having a relationship with the kids mother. Its not worth torturing yourself to stay in an environment where you are so unhappy, the kids will pick up on that.


  • #3
    cojomo2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,220 ✭✭✭cojomo2


    OP

    not being smart, but you mention she cheated on you with 5 other men that you know of. This was before you had kids. So my next question is, are you sure they are your kids?

    That aside, there is little hope left on the relationship side of things- you have to realise that things are no longer how they may have been on. You should move one and try and find happiness with someone else. That doesn't mean you have to stop being a father though.

    It will be difficult at first but is necessary if you want to be happy.

    Best of luck with it.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP, sorry to hear of your situation.

    As mentioned above, you should get out for your kids sake.

    I was in a similar place about a year ago, extremely unhappy in a "relationship" but staying and battling on, just to be as close as possible to my daughter.

    I realised I had to get out for my own sanity, as well as the welfare of my daughter. I now have set access to my daughter, it will never be as good as when I spent every day with her but at least we can spend quality time together in a non-poisonous atmosphere.

    If you haven't already, I'd suggest looking into getting guardianship and set access to your children.

    Best of luck.


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