trust issues

tgk1

my girlfriend of nearly 3 years doesnt trust me. we've been living together for 2 of them.
the biggest problem we have is early on in the relationship i broke her trust through a simple mistake, not cheating because i would never do that.
we worked through it and got back on track, but she has never let it go.
A while ago she checked my text messages and there was one from a friend that mentioned the legs of another woman, i replied and agreed that they are nice, no big deal, just a comment to a friend. She freaked out, claiming i wanted to be with other women and it was really hurtful that i looked at another woman. I tried to explain that it was only a comment, didnt mean anything.
I could understand if before we met i was a serial womaniser and would go with anyone but the fact is i never was or tried to be.
i've devoted my time to her and i love her but she seems to think i will run off and cheat on her.
I dont go out on my own, very seldom see my friends and if i am with them im loaded down with text messages and if i dont reply within a few minutes she starts being narky with me making me feel like im doing something wrong.
I dont know what to do anymore..
Im so stressed by all of it and the feeling that i can never do enough or be good enough is tearing me apart.
I love her but without her trust i dont know anymore.
any advice would be nice

Squiggler

My advice would be to leave now.

I was in your position in a past relationship. I hadn't cheated, or even thought of cheating, loved my boyfriend etc. I tried everything but nothing worked. If a stranger smiled at me in the street it could kick off the Spanish Inquisition. I stopped spending time with friends and family unless he was there and even then I was on edge. I wasted 5 years trying to make things work.

The day that I realised that it all had nothing to do with me and told him it was over I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.

Trust issues combined with insecurity and jealous tendancies do not allow for a happy healthy relationship. Everyone deserves to be with someone who trusts them 100%.

LegacyUser

Seriously if there is no trust in a relationship whats the point? You have already put up with this behaviour for three years ..get out while you can there is no point wasting your time with someone who is a jealous control freak. She is never going to change.

She seems to want to control your life and who you socialise with as a result you don't see your friends as much. Being in a relationship where you live in each others pockets is not healthy. Everyone needs to their own time out. Does she socialise with her friends on her own?

I'm shocked by the number of threads where people just check through their boyfriends/ girlfriends txt messages and e-mails without a care in the world.

gmac102

tgk1 wrote: »

my girlfriend of nearly 3 years doesnt trust me. we've been living together for 2 of them.
the biggest problem we have is early on in the relationship i broke her trust through a simple mistake, not cheating because i would never do that.
we worked through it and got back on track, but she has never let it go.
A while ago she checked my text messages and there was one from a friend that mentioned the legs of another woman, i replied and agreed that they are nice, no big deal, just a comment to a friend. She freaked out, claiming i wanted to be with other women and it was really hurtful that i looked at another woman. I tried to explain that it was only a comment, didnt mean anything.
I could understand if before we met i was a serial womaniser and would go with anyone but the fact is i never was or tried to be.
i've devoted my time to her and i love her but she seems to think i will run off and cheat on her.
I dont go out on my own, very seldom see my friends and if i am with them im loaded down with text messages and if i dont reply within a few minutes she starts being narky with me making me feel like im doing something wrong.
I dont know what to do anymore..
Im so stressed by all of it and the feeling that i can never do enough or be good enough is tearing me apart.
I love her but without her trust i dont know anymore.
any advice would be nice

as a previous poster said, if you dont have trust what is the point... you gave up your life for this girl and shes still not happy.

take your power back, you have a right to go out without her without been harassed etc etc

sometimes love isnt enough... i hope your situation is resolved soon

crazygeryy

If there is love between you ie you love each other,Why don't you tell her exactly what you have told us.sit her down and have a good heart to heart with her.see how she reacts.if she says ill try and do better give her a chance and see how it goes.
If she can't agree to it or she goes into melt down get rid of her.stress will get you in the end life is to short you dont need stress in it.
One thing I will say in her defense is id love to know what the simple mistake you made was.simple mistakes dont make a girl go freaky like that for no reason.
Anyway good luck with it.