Am I becoming a hermit?

LegacyUser

I've noticed over the last while I'm not doing very much with my days. The last time I was out with the guys drinking was last Christmas. I was seeing a girl for a few months at the start of the year and was out with her too, but that finished around March. Since then, I think I've went out once, and then, it was by myself to the cinema.

I seemingly have done nothing else in the past 6 months. I spend all my weekends staying in. I've occasionally bought tickets to things only to lose interest in going as the time comes and then not go.

Even tonight, I'm supposed to go to a concert and I'm half thinking of not going. I'm going by myself so there's no-one depending on me to show up. The weather is awful outside but I know that's not the real reason I'm thinking of skipping it. Even if the weather was fine I'd still be thinking about bailing out.

Why am I doing this? Have I just got into a habit of staying in that's hard to break? Quite a few of the lads are settled down but I'm sure I could probably organise some sort of night out with someone if I tried. But I find myself rarely wanting to socialise these days. That can't be good.

I just feel like I've very little motivation or passion for anything.

Is anyone else like this and is there someway for me to snap out of it? Seems like I've been this way for years, but it's got worse over the last 2 years or so.

I don't think I'm depressed and I went to my GP over a year ago about it and he didn't think so either. I guess I just find it hard to get enthusiastic about things. I can do for a short while, like an hour, then it sort of goes away and I'm just like "meh". Like if I organise a night out, it seems like a good idea, then a few days later I'm like "ah I don't know if I want to go now".

I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not and fake enthusiasm and passion for things but at the same time this "meh" about almost everything isn't good either is it?

Just wondering if anyone else is like this.

CyberJuice

I know how you feel

over the years i have gotten increasingly more uninterested in small talk,im at the point now where if i bump into someone i know from years ago or someone that im not very close with i try to get away from them asap,i just find that they are talking to me and im not taking any of it in,i dont care what they have to say,it makes no difference to me wat they did at the weekend,how their girlfriends are doing,what they had for lunch and such.its even worse when your in a pub and its a stranger tellin you all these silly things that you dont care about.so i found myself goin out less and less

if i look out the window and i see its all windy and raining im glad because that means i wont have to go out, i can just stay in and do what i want and not have people waiting on me to show up some place at such and such a time..


theres nothing wrong with it,just do what you like to do,whatever makes you comfortable,if you dont want to be goin out then dont,find other things to do,just make sure you get enough exercise and eat well..

try find a girlfriend,move in togther and do things together,this could be the answer to your issues.. obviously you wont find one staying in all the time so mayb try internet dating

LegacyUser

Hi there,

to be honest you do sound like you have some sort of depression. You may need to have a chat with another doctor who has a lot of experience dealing with mental health issues. Its no big deal if you have but sorting out would really help you at this stage. Apathy can be a symptom as far as i know. I have depression, and some of the stuff you say in your post reminds you of me. Im take a little tablet every day and i feel so different now.

just a thought anyway

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

I went to the concert and actually had a good time. I figured I probably would have a good time anyway if I went, it was just the dithering about going and making myself go out the front door. But I sort of knew I would go anyway as I was doing all these other things that were an indicator to me that I was going to go. Usually when I chicken out of these things I decide a few days before and that's it.

I felt a bit nervous going there. Partly as I was just a bit nervous/excited about the concert as it was one of my favourite acts. But also probably a bit nervous at being out for the first time in a while. Felt my heart racing a bit at the start and I felt a bit fidgety for a while but after a while I was grand. I guess having a few drinks helped too.

My GP originally said he thought I should go talk to a psychologist but I never really went and done that. He did say to me if I thought the depression feeling was coming back to go see him. I kind of feel fine though. I feel better for going out last night, apart from the slight hangover

I guess I will just keep an eye on things but in the meantime maybe force myself to start going out a bit more.

I've tried internet dating and had some success with it but nothing longterm unfortunately. I'm a bit fed up with it at the moment and actually as I was on the bus last night heading into the city I thought to myself "I'm really glad I'm not going for a first date with someone off the internet now". I've done it before and I get so nervous beforehand. I'd nearly rather try meeting someone out and about for a change. Lets see what happens anyway.