Husband cheating or my imagination?

LegacyUser

Hi

Toningt I think I found out that my husband is cheating on me, I say I think because I didn't catch him doing anything wrong but I found an old phone with an 02 sim card in it while it was charging. Over the past few weeks my husband has gotten texts from 02 to his vodafone phone, saying to update hhis 02 to make unlimited free calls to any network and a link to the 02 website is given in the text. When I asked him why he was getting texts from 02 when his phone was vodafone he said he didn't know.

Tonight he did not expect to see me as I was away for a few days but when I came home I found an old phone charging, it wasn't turned on but I checked and there is an 02 sim card in it. We have just moved into our appartment recently, and the explanation my husband gave was that one day he couldn't find his own charger and found this phone lying around, so he said it was probably left by the previous tenant, and he decided to charge it and use it with his sim card. To be honest I don't believe this, if that were the case why would he have put the previous tenant's 02 sim card back into the phone and then decided tonight to charge it with that sim card in it?

It is more likely that it is my husband that had the second phone, I can only assume that the reason is that he is having an affair. I was very angry when I found it, I tried to turn the phone on but put in the wrong password twice and then transferred the sim card to my phone, thinking I wouldn't need the password there, but got it wrong againand blocked the card. Then in a fit of rage I snapped the sim card in two...Any advice at all would be appreciated, my husband simply denies everything and says I'm mad!!

sam34

worriedwife wrote: »

Hi

Toningt I think I found out that my husband is cheating on me, I say I think because I didn't catch him doing anything wrong but I found an old phone with an 02 sim card in it while it was charging. Over the past few weeks my husband has gotten texts from 02 to his vodafone phone, saying to update hhis 02 to make unlimited free calls to any network and a link to the 02 website is given in the text. When I asked him why he was getting texts from 02 when his phone was vodafone he said he didnt know

whatever about the rest of it, the man is telling the truth about this. there are scam texts claiming to be from o2 being sent to lots of people, no matter what network they're on) with a fake dodgy link included. there's an entire thread on it over in the o2 forum.

beks101

On this fact alone it's a bit of a far-fetched jump to conclude that your husband is having an affair.

There are obviously some serious trust and communication issues in your marriage. I think that's what you should be examining here.

Yeah the O2 texts aren't related to it. I'm on vodafone and I get those scam texts all the time, plus if he is on O2 secretly texting someone else he'll be getting his O2 reminders to that sim, not his vodafone one.

I agree that the whole "I found this phone and charged it to use it" thing sounds extremely suspicious. But unfortunately there's on way to know for sure, and it's certainly not enough evidence to assume he's having an affair.

Katgurl

OP I think it's hard to give advice or feedback based on this one isolated event.

How are things otherwise?
Has his behaviour changed recently?
Has infidelity been a problem in your marriage before this?

thefeatheredcat

worriedwife wrote: »

Over the past few weeks my husband has gotten texts from 02 to his vodafone phone, saying to update hhis 02 to make unlimited free calls to any network and a link to the 02 website is given in the text. When I asked him why he was getting texts from 02 when his phone was vodafone he said he didn't know.

I left 02 back in 2004 for vodafone and I got one of those texts recently, and the sim from 02 was long destroyed years ago.

Sounds more like he came across the phone and is a bit duped by the scam text, thinking of the free calls and whatnot and decided to go for it while you weren't around.

Zen65

true-or-false wrote: »

I agree that the whole "I found this phone and charged it to use it" thing sounds extremely suspicious.

Being a techie person I do keep one or two old mobile phones in the house (the rest I recycle for the Jack and Jill Foundation) and from time to time I do take them out and charge them. You'd be surprised how often they come in handy. I've even bought very cheap mobiles (SIM free) that I come across on special offer just to have in an emergency. I have at least one Tesco SIM card in the house.

I guess what I'm saying is that finding an extra mobile isn't evidence of any wrong-doing by your husband. I wonder if you've thought this through?

Be at peace,


Z

Ickle Magoo

Hey OP,

With the degree of trust that a relationship should have - your husband having an affair seems an odd conclusion to jump to on this isolated incident...are there any other issues or behaviours that made you immediately dismiss your husbands explanation and assume he must be lying?

dr gonzo

OP, i dont say this to be deliberately unhelpful but based on the information youve given us so far i think you may have slightly overreacted. Im not in your situation so can only imagine the scenario and were i in your husbands shoes i personally would be furious at the level of mistrust that would drive you to destroy my sim card merely because you couldnt access it without my knowledge. On the other hand you could be absolutely correct and i sincerely hope thats not the case. Either way its pretty important that you approach this situation from an honest point of view because if it turns out that your husband was doing nothing sinister whatsoever then your subterfuges at this point may cause irreparable damage to your relationship.

Good luck and i hope everything works out ok.

qwertytlk

Hi,
based on the old phone and sim card alone,i definatley dont think this is anywhere near enough to assume hes having an affair.
If this happend in my relationship i certainley wouldnt...but thats because we have no trust issues.
So on that basis, i can only assume that there are trust issues in your relationship? Has there been suspicions of an affair before? Or any strange behaviour?
Before you found the phone, how was he acting? Looking back on it now is there anything strange behaviour that would suggest he was messing around behing your back?

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replys. Having reflected on it maybe I was a bit out of order accusing him of cheating...I checked the O2 message thing and it seens to be a fake. The problem between us is still there however. I don't really know why I reacted so badly to the sight of a 'suspect' phone. I thought I trusted him, but all of your replys about 'really' trusting someone has made me realise that I trust no-one.

I think that after almost 14 years of marriage and getting on ok because we barely communicate I've finally faced up to the problem. He has a way of blaming me for everything..he got so drunk at my Mom's funeral that we had to help him wake up and walk, but he still insists over 2 years later that he had nothing to drink, but if I go out for a night (which is only about once a year at most) he complains that he is waiting hours for me to come home, because he insinuates that I am an alcoholic...Its really the blame game and I'm always the one in the wrong...he told me that my Mom who I loved with all my heart and who I looked after for 4 years when she had cancer had no time for me and regarded me as a waste of time...all of this after my Mom died....there really is no hope to salvage this relationship, is there? Has anyone gone through anything similar.......

jacklad

worriedwife wrote: »

Hi

Toningt I think I found out that my husband is cheating on me, I say I think because I didn't catch him doing anything wrong but I found an old phone with an 02 sim card in it while it was charging. Over the past few weeks my husband has gotten texts from 02 to his vodafone phone, saying to update hhis 02 to make unlimited free calls to any network and a link to the 02 website is given in the text. When I asked him why he was getting texts from 02 when his phone was vodafone he said he didn't know.

Tonight he did not expect to see me as I was away for a few days but when I came home I found an old phone charging, it wasn't turned on but I checked and there is an 02 sim card in it. We have just moved into our appartment recently, and the explanation my husband gave was that one day he couldn't find his own charger and found this phone lying around, so he said it was probably left by the previous tenant, and he decided to charge it and use it with his sim card. To be honest I don't believe this, if that were the case why would he have put the previous tenant's 02 sim card back into the phone and then decided tonight to charge it with that sim card in it?

It is more likely that it is my husband that had the second phone, I can only assume that the reason is that he is having an affair. I was very angry when I found it, I tried to turn the phone on but put in the wrong password twice and then transferred the sim card to my phone, thinking I wouldn't need the password there, but got it wrong againand blocked the card. Then in a fit of rage I snapped the sim card in two...Any advice at all would be appreciated, my husband simply denies everything and says I'm mad!!

Taltos

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