Im blocking my emotions

,mnb

I've known this for quite a while but I need to address it.
I've been to a few counsellors over the years. I'm able to put words on my difficulties, on why I feel the way I do and why I end up getting depressed. But when I feel emotion coming from within I tend to block it, to push it down. This is understandable cause in the past I have had nervous breakdowns of sorts. But I have encouraged by my counsellor that to move on I need to connect with myself inside and until I do I wont be fully able to fall in love, to feel real joy. I also feel that to do this may mean feeling worse for a time or opening myself up to powerful negative emotions.
Has anyone else had this problem. Or can you advise how I really start to do this. Are there specific exercises I can do. Did you get over this difficulty. Was it worth it.

ElleEm

In relation to counselling, you will almost have to feel worse before you get better. You have spent years and years controlling how you manage/ deny your emotions. They all have to be found so it will be tough. Continue with the counselling.

But in relation to managing your own emotions, have you tried writing? Just pick up a pen and start writing about anything you're feeling at the time. This may lead onto other thoughts, so you can just spill out what you are thinking/ feeling without having anyone look at you/ judge you or feel the need to respond to you. you can burn or shred the paper afterwards but this may give you the outlet you need.

,mnb

Ye it might be helpful to write stuff down really good idea. I tend to do that with CBT work I do on myself and have been doing that for about 2 years now. Just with that I think Im only really dealing with it at a superficial level.

Kanoe

I do this too. Did cbt few years ago, read the books, did the writing thing too and every now and again I can get in touch with my emotions but as sure as eggs as soon as I do someone will come along or I will openly allow someone into my life who will fúck me over and I shut up shop again. I think it's down to the kind of people I find my self gravitating toward, it's like I have a need to be around people who treat people like crap and no matter how aware of it I am I can't stop doing it. I do expect that most people will at some point and ergo less likely to trust the next person.
I know this might sound stupid but I got a dog a few years ago and that has really helped. It's good to be able to come home and have something/somebody to care about and be emotionally invested in without getting hurt in return. It really does help. Best of luck.