Does it show lack of interest if a guy usually waits hours to reply to a text

mspink

I can't figure this out. We've only been seeing eachother for a few weeks and it's nothing official yet. I let him make about 70% of the contact which is all by text so far. Even when he initiates the conversation it could take him up to 4 hrs to reply and these are always in the evening so I know he's not working.
Guys do you think this shows lack of interest? Or he's just playing it cool. I'm finding it very irritating and it's making me not want to bother replying to him.
I text him first today and still haven't received a reply! Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.

I am a friend

Yeah in the past I have found that very irritating... I would assume it is game playing...

Maybe you should suggest ye actually talk rather than text from time to time.

Dolbert

He just mightn't be much of a texter. Constant texting wrecks my head tbh, if it's a full blown conversation I'd much rather just call him!

Miss Fluff

If he initiates contact that's good. I know one of my close mates is out with clients and on the road most days and she always responds to her backlog of texts usually around midnight and just before she goes to bed. I'm a super-texter though and I do a lot of my communicating by text as otherwise I'd spend my entire day on the phone Some people just have different text habits so his might be that he waits until his day his done before he gets around to responding.

The other possibility is that you could be overdoing it on the texting and he's trying to keep a lid on them? For example if you're mad into texting and are one of those people who send texts "what you doing?" (:rolleyes:) I am not for a moment suggesting that's the case but I've been on the receiving end of texts like that and more often than not don't respond.

Say nothing for now and if you're both comfortable with it maybe graduate to phonecalls if you feel like it.

Chuchoter

Are you sending back really boring texts that leave all the conversation up to him? Because thats equally as annoying.

LegacyUser

Definitely game playing! My ex always told me that if he was super interested in someone he'd be more hesitant with text replies at the start because he felt it would look 'cooler' than replying straight away. Such games always annoyed me though!

John Mason

may be he just has a life?

i have no idea where my phone is at the moment, probably in bag in another room or in the car. havent seen it since about 4pm today when i left work

not everyone has their phone surgically attached to them

Wibbs

Depends on the person really. I came to the oul moby culture late enough, but would tend to reply back to a text pretty much immediately. Others don't and that's fine. Like I say it depends on the person. EG if you were to text me and I didn't reply within the hour, either I'm up to my unmentionables or I'm just not pushed. Whereas with some of my mates who are more laid back on this score a half day gap wouldn't mean jack.

Where I would be more concerned is the balance of contact. If you're the one doing two thirds of the contacting then maybe something is lacking? That said he may not be a texter. Like I said I can out text a 15 year old Justin Bieber fan and like the medium(to a point) others prefer a standard phone convo. He could be one of them.

TL;DR? Go with your instincts. If you reckon it's all one way, it probably is, texts/emails/calls notwithstanding.

Young_gunner

irishbird wrote: »

may be he just has a life?

i have no idea where my phone is at the moment, probably in bag in another room or in the car. havent seen it since about 4pm today when i left work

not everyone has their phone surgically attached to them

really helpful reply...

imo it does show a lack of interest, i know personally if i really liked a girl, i'd definitely be texting back promptly

Best of luck

I am a friend

irishbird wrote: »

not everyone has their phone surgically attached to them

Just because you know where your phone is located doesn't mean don't have a life.

mspink

Thanks guys for all your replies he text just after I posted this and things seem fine so I guess I was just thinking too much into it..

LegacyUser

It may or may not be game playing, some people just don't like texting, or maybe he's too busy.

You say he initiates contact 70% of the time is this some game you're playing? Why can't you call him?

If what you have to say is important enough, or you need an answer to a question immediately, call them.

I'm seeing my girlfriend over 2 years, and i can say i've never immediately texted her back, sometimes it takes two hours, sometimes four, and i'm madly in love with her, so it's definitely not lack of interest. Not everybody in the world is dependant on the mobile phone.

LegacyUser

mspink wrote: »

Thanks guys for all your replies he text just after I posted this and things seem fine so I guess I was just thinking too much into it..

Over-analysing, this is it in a nutshell....there are so many relationships that have never made it because one person deemed another person too slow at texting back. There is absolutely no reason to believe without proof that a person you barely know is sitting looking at his/her phone thinking 'I don't want to text this one back, he/she is doing my head in'.

If someone you're getting to know is being an *******, being vague, doesn't show you any respect, then it's ok to assume that late texting is a bad sign.

If someone you're getting to know is being good to you, being kind and thoughtful, then it's silly to jump to the conclusion that they don't care just because they haven't texted back in a timeframe that only you deem acceptable.

ibarelycare

I don't think it necessarily shows lack of interest, it's silly to just jump to that conclusion. My bf is a terrible texter, no matter what time of day. He often leaves his phone lying around and forgets about it, or reads a message and intends to reply a few minutes later but forgets, or any number of reasons. He's been like that since day one and it did bug me a bit at the start but I got to learn that he's just an incredibly laid-back (also very lazy at times!) person. We've been together over 7 months so it's not like he's not interested :P OP I think you're overanalysing things. If it annoys you that much why not just pick up the phone and have a proper conversation?

Eric Cartman

Maybee hes busy , working , driving , eating, playing xbox , on the internet etc... It can take me seconds or hours to reply to texts depending On what im doing , and im less likely to rush to text somebody wholl text me again 2 seconds later because i dont have the time to spend looking at my phone all day ,


OP , whatever you do though , dont send the text again , send texts like 'well ??' or 'mistakenly' send a text for another person trying to prompt him to reply , this is the most annoying thing anyone can do

LegacyUser

I don't think so. Both me and the guy I'm seeing now are awful texters. While we may have been texting "all day" we might only send 3 or 4 texts each.

I mean I don't like to text in lectures, at work, while out with friends etc so it takes me for ever. I think it's really more important how he acts when you are together than how promtly he replies to messages.

muboop1

I have a gf for a good few years whom I love more than anything.

I was an attorcious texter to her at the start! Didn't mean anything, I was just a bad texter. Relax and stop analysing. If it bothers you that much mention it, else just get over it. Some people are always contactable by others, some prefer to deal with what they are doing now in reality, be it just watching tv or talking to a friend etc.