Life is falling apart

LegacyUser

I'm under so much pressure I wonder how much more I can take. My mother passed away a year ago. People seem to have forgotten it now, but I'm still very much grieving for her. It is just me and my sister now. I am the eldest so am bearing the brunt of the burden that comes with sorting the will etc.

I can't get a job. I'm working part-time, just days here and there, but I am constantly worrying about money, job security etc. I think a proper routine would really help. I have no structure to my life.

And to top it all off, my partner is not happy in our relationship. I am trying to make it work, but he is not willing to talk or make an effort himself. It can't all come from me... He's not a bad person, but he has his own issues, but I don't see how things can work if something doesn't change soon.

I'm trying so hard to struggle through it all, but I just don't know how to make things easier. I feel very close to having a breakdown. I struggle to breathe a lot of the time. I am literally that overwhelmed.

I don't know what to do. I've been seeing a therapist and she is great. I'm exercising regularly, trying to open up/confide in friends, spending time on hobbies, but nothing helps. It is a constant struggle, each day brings new challenges, new issues, new problems. Everyone I love is leaving me slowly but surely, be it by dying, or by choice. I'm in so much pain.

Thanks for reading, advice welcome. I just really needed to get things off my chest a bit.

Baked.noodle

Sorry to read your post, you are coping with a lot of uncertainty at the moment. If you feel at the tipping point you should tell your therapist (if you haven't done so already).

You seem to be doing much to deal with life and you should stick with it. Aside from your work and money concerns, the issue that stands out would seem to be a fear of abandonment. This is understandable after loosing your mum and your issues with your partner. I hope you have spoken with your therapist about this. You need to communicate with your partner, and your therapist should advise you on this. Try to remember that there are people in your life that will not abandon you. You are strong enough to overcome whatever challenges await you. Whatever is coming between you and your partner must be confronted, eventually. Try to anticipate it proactively. In your professional life, developing new skills could be a good thing for your confidence and wallet.

I hope things get better for you, and if you keep being proactive I'm sure they will. Everybody finds life challenging at times, so your not alone. You can be happy again.

LegacyUser

Hi Op

So sorry to hear you are under so much stress and pressure. It sounds like you are doing a lot to try and help yourself, which is brilliant.
You sound like a very pro active, positive person

It will take time to get over your mum, which is really hard and go easy on yourself.

I reckon stay healthy and fit, keep talking to your therapist, and you will work thru everything.

Hopefully work will pick up too, but use the time off you have, albeit not by choice, to have some you time. You will also get to the issue of your relationship in time, and work out if it is for you long term.

Good luck and keep talking to your friends,as that too helps.
xx

Mr Marri

Hay OP I've been down your path before, so hopefully I can offer so small bit of usefully advise. What I would recomend is meditation, don't ask me how or why it works but it sure helped me. and it always provides me with a little space/contentment and reminds me that I am not my problems . If I could suggest a simple meditation to start with it would be to sit some where quiet and just listen to your breathing, count your breaths from 1-11 and when you get to 11 start again, do this for 15-20min and see if it helps. I know you probably thinking this is redicules advise, and I know when I was it your shoes that is what I would have thought but give it a go, you can blame me if it doesn't work .