Who was the first human to milk a cow?

Sunnyisland

:) No presidential debates last night so i was Looking at the Tv and there was an ad on that asked the very simple but important question who was the first human to milk a cow and how did the idea spring to mind :D Answers please moo

Sunnyisland

And dont say my mother :-)

token101

Yer ma!

I don't think you'll get a name, probably because they didn't keep archives in 5000 BC

AlmightyCushion

Reminds me of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzUKD0paUZ4

the groutch

Billy Connolly wants his joke back

cosmicfart

The first person to milk a cow was a man, who strangely enough, wasnt in it for the milk!!

longshanks

Who were the first people to farm? Was it the early Sumerians?

Biggins

realies wrote: »

:) No presidential debates last night so i was Looking at the Tv and there was an ad on that asked the very simple but important question who was the first human to milk a cow and how did the idea spring to mind :D Answers please moo

Your talking about 10,000 years ago at least and you'd be looking towards Africa (Egypt) and possibly India as regards mixed animal and agricultural farming starting off from there firstly.
Homo sapiens, early man who in groups started to grow in community numbers rather than just scatterings, arrived in northern Europe around 30,000 - 40,000 years ago, possibly from those regions and through obvious necessity, learned to adapt and survive - lucky for us!

ejmaztec

the groutch wrote: »

Billy Connolly wants his joke back

I wonder when the first joke was told, and what it was about?

Knock knock

Who's there?

Nobody.

Why not?

Because doors haven't been invented, you Neanderthal twat.

Cookie_Monster

The real question is who was the first cow to be milked and did she get kicks out of it?

Lady Chuckles

A farmer?

donalg1

What happens a cow if it doesnt get milked?

Biggins

donalg1 wrote: »

What happens a cow if it doesnt get milked?

It usually dries up over time, becoming very uncomfortable for a while while her udder is over-full. Not being milked triggers hormones that signals the cow to stop producing milk unless it has another calf.

ejmaztec

donalg1 wrote: »

What happens a cow if it doesnt get milked?

It turns into a giant pie and explodes.

Orando Broom

How about those Clippers, eh?

2 stroke

I recon sheep and goats were milked first. They've got much nicer tits.

Guill

A

Biggins wrote: »

It usually dries up over time, becoming very uncomfortable for a while while her udder is over-full. Not being milked triggers hormones that signals the cow to stop producing milk unless it has another calf.

B

It turns into a giant pie and explodes.

I hope B is true.

--Kaiser--

Such an udderly stupid question.
You see a cow, see a calf feeding off a cow.
Note that the calf feeds off a cow the same way a baby feeds off a mother.
Pretty flucking obvious if you ask me

WhatNowForUs?

Biggins wrote: »

Your talking about 10,000 years ago at least and you'd be looking towards Africa (Egypt) and possibly India as regards mixed animal and agricultural farming starting off from there firstly.
Homo sapiens, early man who in groups started to grow in community numbers rather than just scatterings, arrived in northern Europe around 30,000 - 40,000 years ago, possibly from those regions and through obvious necessity, learned to adapt and survive - lucky for us!

But the world is only 2011 years old and a bit added on. We just knew how to milk God told us.

Biggins

WhatNowForUs? wrote: »

But the world is only 2011 years old and a bit added on. We just knew how to milk God told us.

See my signature.

Sunnyisland

see this thread went a bit sour

redzerologhlen

donalg1 wrote: »

What happens a cow if it doesnt get milked?

A good chance she will get mastitis

leggit

This thread is udder crap, I mean moove on already

Johro

realies wrote: »

:) No presidential debates last night so i was Looking at the Tv and there was an ad on that asked the very simple but important question who was the first human to milk a cow and how did the idea spring to mind :D Answers please moo

I saw that ad, there's a bit where this cow goes: 'Milk me Brian', only it's a male voice. :rolleyes:
Eejits.

Johro

leggit wrote: »

This thread is udder crap, I mean moove on already

Don't have a cow man..

tfitzgerald

A few quick jokes


Q: What do you get if you cross a cow, sheep, and a goat?
A: The milky baa kid


Q: What goes oom oom?
A: A cow walking backwards.

Now time to moove on to an udder thread

Iwannahurl

Adam. Or Eve.

Otherwise what did they put on their cornflakes or in their tea?

argosy2006

I'm sure who ever it was was not looking for milk ,
that was just a surprise ,

Fart

I wonder if the first dude who milked the cow took the money shot?

Kat1170

ejmaztec wrote: »

I wonder when the first joke was told, and what it was about?.

..................

Mr.Crinklewood

cosmicfart wrote: »

The first person to milk a cow was a man, who strangely enough, wasnt in it for the milk!!

Pull the udder one.

Nforce

Seems an apt place for this vid...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUtSazFb5qM

getz

it was a caveman,but he died,the cow sat on him

2 stroke

I remember a story about a researcher that travelled to America to study lactose intolerance in native amarican tribes. On contact with the first tribe, he explained to the chief that he wished to study the high incidence of lactose intolerance in his tribe considering that milk must have been a major part of their diet for thousands of years. The chief explained that his ancestors found buffalo difficult to catch and that they usually just killed and ate them.

4leto

About 10,000 years ago in the fertile regions of the Nile Delta man first domesticated animals, so an Egyptian would have sussed a calf drinks milk, well so could I, then cornfakes beckoned.

Wertz

Meh, I preferred the old cravendale milk ads with the cool stop/go animation and weird sound effects.

As for the question, it's something that would have come naturally (milking cows)...since we too are mammals...now lighting the first fire, there's one that intrigues me...

4leto

Also milk is interesting, it actually one of the area where evolution is evident and still happening in us.

We are all born with an enzyme that breaks down lactose as we all had to supple, but as earlier human aged they lost that enzyme. They became lactose intolerant.

Now to be able to tolerate lactose is a big advantage especially when we start domesticating animals.

Ireland has the highest proportion of lactose tolerant population in the world. But as you move to Asia they have the most lactose intolerance especially in India.

So that sickle cell, the Nepalese sherpers ability to live in a thinner atmosphere, and other cases are examples of evolution in action in us.

Errr I bore myself as well.

Son Of A Vidic

Who ever it was? We all can certainly thank the pervert.

Samich

Hate that thing that says "I wonder who the first person was to pull the dangly bits on a cow". The calf gets milk off the cow. That's how!

zie

4leto wrote: »

Also milk is interesting, it actually one of the area where evolution is evident and still happening in us.

We are all born with an enzyme that breaks down lactose as we all had to supple, but as earlier human aged they lost that enzyme. They became lactose intolerant.

Now to be able to tolerate lactose is a big advantage especially when we start domesticating animals.

Ireland has the highest proportion of lactose tolerant population in the world. But as you move to Asia they have the most lactose intolerance especially in India.

So that sickle cell, the Nepalese sherpers ability to live in a thinner atmosphere, and other cases are examples of evolution in action in us.

Errr I bore myself as well.

no, that's really interesting stuff. are there less cows in Asia, or why do they have less tolerance for it there?

woodoo

I'd say is was some randy farmer type in prehistoric wales and the initial encounter was of a sexual nature.

4leto

zie wrote: »

no, that's really interesting stuff. are there less cows in Asia, or why do they have less tolerance for it there?

Not really they have grazing animals as well, evolution doesn't really work like that. Our proximity to access to milk would not be a mechanism alone for change.

Its sexual selection, over time, say some was born with the ability to retain that enzyme he has an advantage of being able to digest milk, so he becomes healthier which enables him to have a greater amount of off springs. Therefore passing on that gene to his children. Then overtime each of these children enjoy that advantage and they have more children till all have it.

Just that mutation happened in Europe first then it move slowly eastwards. It just never got to India till much later on.

But now that culture is our main evolutionary process we are twartng that process.

zie

4leto wrote: »

Not really they have grazing animals as well, evolution doesn't really work like that. Our proximity to access to milk would not be a mechanism alone for change.

Its sexual selection, over time, say some was born with the ability to retain that enzyme he has an advantage of being able to digest milk, so he becomes healthier which enables him to have a greater amount of off springs. Therefore passing on that gene to his children. Then overtime each of these children enjoy that advantage and they have more children till all have it.

Just that mutation happened in Europe first then it move slowly eastwards. It just never got to India till much later on.

But now that culture is our main evolutionary process we are twartng that process.

ah i get what you mean. i would have thanked your post, but my thanks aren't enabled yet.

suitseir

realies wrote: »

:) No presidential debates last night so i was Looking at the Tv and there was an ad on that asked the very simple but important question who was the first human to milk a cow and how did the idea spring to mind :D Answers please moo

Do you mean milk the system???? Ah.....Berty and Charly of course!!!!!! together....and we are the t(w)its!!!!

Joey the lips

I thought this was a reference to the bitch next door