How to get over him

LegacyUser

I dont know how to get over someone. Im in a bad position at the moment where Ive had to come home, leave my job, wait a year out till college next year as I cant afford to do a postgrad this year. All my friends are 5 hours away, and Ive none where I live and its only a small village so theres nothing to do. Im feeling very lonely after three years which were wonderful where I was in uni.

my problem is I fell in love while I was there and dated the most amazing guy Ive ever met. but exclusive committment wasnt something he wanted and because of that, we ended our "relationship."

Ive accepted that its over but cant get over it. He wants to be friends though, wants to keep texting, would meet up for drinks, chatting ect. but I cant because its breaking my heart. we live far apart now, but he would text regularly and see me when I visit friends every few weeks.

Ive stopped this and last night he contacted me saying I would always be an important friend to him and he hoped Id be the same. which is lovely and so kind, but Im heartbroken, because of this. so I replied telling him the truth that I would always be his friend, and I told him that when we last fought and it was the worst fight we had, that lead to us deleting all contact details and not talking for a while, it hurt but it was good because it forced me to accept I couldnt contact him.

but when he got back in contact it reopened everything again. I then probably embarassed myself, but I told him what I loved about him, I didnt use the word love, but I told him what I liked, and why. I then promised him I wouldnt go off on a rant, or drunk text or whatever anymore, because I used to get upset when we'd argue.
Then I told him, Id always be his friend, that I hated the idea, but of course we would. that contact isnt an option for me though as I need to get to a good place, and told him to enjoy his weekend and his night out that night, as I know he was looking forward to an event.

I feel slightly mortified that I admitted why I loved him, and then agreed to be friends too, but have dropped contact. anyway that was last night, he didnt reply to it either, which hurts too. But maybe that was that also. Maybe that was the ending. Maybe he thinks Im crazy I dont know anymore.

this may sound bizarre but how do I get over him now, when my life feels dull as it is. Im glad I ended it on a nice note telling him to enjoy his weekend, as I love him still and want him to be happy regardless, Id be a lot sadder if there was bad feeling between us and he was unhappy.

any advice is appreciated. thanks.

LegacyUser

OP here, I should add, when I told him what I liked about him.....that was last night in the early hours of the morning after he had said we would always be good friends. I havent heard anything back since.

ElvisP

You need to separate your two issues.

Re your ex, I know it's tough to hear but cold turkey is the only way.

Don't try to solve your location issue by contacting him. You'll need to solve that separately.