episiotomy advice or experience?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am 10 weeks after giving birth and my episiotomy completely broke down and the hospital would not restitch. I'm still in a lot of pain especially when sitting or moving and am losing hope that it will ever heal up.

I developed an infection and have been on antibiotics on and off since the birth, and have got thrush as well from them which is also causing pain now. Baby is doing well, im breastfeeding him but he has got thrush in his nappy as well now. I'm just finding it really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Every single doctor or midwife I have seen has given me different advice, bath, don't bath. Shower, don't shower. Use salt, teatree oil, lavender, arnica or witch hazel. Don't use anything. Sit on a ring cushion, don't sit on a ring cushion. For every time I have been told to try something another professional has said not to do that.

I am also terrified of having another baby in case the experience is repeated and am terrified of having sex with my partner, which isn't remotely on the cards yet but even when or if I heal I just can't see myself letting him near me.

Its my first baby and I always thought I'd have more than 1, but now I'm just so scared. I'm crying everynight in pain and disbelief that I am still in pain 10 weeks later.

Has anyone any advice or experience of this sort of thing?

How Strange

I'm sorry I have no advice for you except go to your gp and insist you get a referral for a gynaecologist and in such a way that you get seen very quickly.

That's just awful; recovering after your first baby is difficult enough without added complications. Well done for continuing to breastfeed through all of it.

I only took baths after having my son to help the stitches heal and I took arnica tablets for a long time after. Hopefully you'll get proper help soon because leaving a new mum in that physical and psychological condition is dreadful.

Das Kitty

You need a dedicated gynaecologist to take a look at your case. They will be able to give you the correct advice for clearing up the infection and then be able to stitch you up properly with the correct aftercare so you heal well.

I know how traumatic pain in that area can be but trust me when I tell you you can get fully better. But you will have to give yourself time to heal emotionally.

My advice would be to stop thinking about baby number 2 for the timebeing, those thoughts will come back in their own time.

Take care of yourself lady xxx

LegacyUser

I was told to shower 5-6 times a day as I had so many switches dw der, not to use any shower gel on area and have to say thankfully it worked out ok, baths wer a no no. Just wishing you de very best.....if men wer to have babies...........

cbyrd

I agree with above posters.. Go to the GP and insist on a referral to a gyne.. 10 weeks is a ridiculous amount of time to be suffering in this way.. kick up a stink lady and don't be fobbed off.. Go easy on yourself too as regards number 2 and as for sex. . . :pac::pac::pac: take care

LegacyUser

I have been seeing my gp every week since the birth, and have been readmitted to galway hospital twice over it. My gp really wanted them to restitch but the docs I seen at the hospital said no.

Last week I finally got to see my consultant and he said they would have restitched if I had been seen by him in the first week but now its too late.

There is nothing they can do, seemingly, and I just have to wait for it to heal by itself. It's just that I am still so sore and I can't believe it will ever heal at this stage.

They have all said that I have been just very unlucky... which doesn't really help a lot.

Das Kitty

errrrrrrrrrr wrote: »

I have been seeing my gp every week since the birth, and have been readmitted to galway hospital twice over it. My gp really wanted them to restitch but the docs I seen at the hospital said no.

Last week I finally got to see my consultant and he said they would have restitched if I had been seen by him in the first week but now its too late.

There is nothing they can do, seemingly, and I just have to wait for it to heal by itself. It's just that I am still so sore and I can't believe it will ever heal at this stage.

They have all said that I have been just very unlucky... which doesn't really help a lot.

Ask for a second opinion and to be referred to a different gynae. IMO what you're going through is completely unacceptable.

winster

Hi Errrrr

I had a very similar experience to you - was still in a lot of pain 4 months after the birth, couldn't sit, stand or walk comfortably. The problem with me apparently was that I had developed a lot of scar tissue after the episiotomy. After several different antibiotics and 4 months I went for surgery where they redid the episiotomy and removed scar tissue. Took another couple of months before I felt in any way normal but I did get there in the end . In the mean time don't be slow to take pain relief and don't let the doctors fob you off. Am due again in a couple of months and having a section this time! Best of luck and try not to let it get you down too much - they will sort you out.

Winster

mohawk

You poor thing! I still remember my episiotomy well. I had alot of pain there for a long time. They told me the pain was down to the scar tissue. Despite the pain I was advised to do my pelvic floor exercises as it increases blood flow to the area which helps with healing and would also get white blood cells to the area to fight off infections.

It will get better. Keep banging on those doors until someone listens.

All the best xxx.

mothere

I also had a similar experience after my first baby. One thing I do remember from the birth was a lot of medics hesitant to make a decision on whether or not to perform an episiotomy. When one of them finally made the decision to do so I believe it was too late anyway as I had already torn. I feel really bitter that a decision was not made sooner. I feel I was butchered & when they stiched me up it took hours & was badly done. After I got home I was in constant agony which I thought was normal! I could not stand or walk, I took salt baths every morning & painkillers but nothing eased the unbearable pain. Finally after two weeks I went to the nurse who told me I had an infection & the doctor prescribed antibiotics which thankfully worked. But it still took a few months for the area not to be tender. Hang in there, I promise it will improve & when the time is right you can plan another baby, I am due my second in 2012:)

yoda2001

I had an "epise", as the obstetrician casually called it, on my first child. It was not complicated and though it got infected, it healed well. However, it was so painful. Also I was coping with it with a new baby, hardly any sleep and all the upheaval that comes with a new arrival.

I was determined not to have to go through it with number 2. I went to pregnancy yoga and had a natural birth, without intervention. You are having a terrible time at the moment. I hope it gets sorted.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies - it is so reassuring to know that other people have had similar experiences and have recovered enough to have number 2 and done so without any trauma. I'm back to see the consultant next week so I hope I feel a little better by then.

I found the whole birth very traumatic, spent 2 days being induced, had the gel 4 times, had my waters broken, had the drip for the contractions, which was then followed by the episiotomy, suction delivery and baby whisked away into an incubator. I was monitored constantly and had so many internal exams I lost count....

Has anyone been for counselling after a traumatic birth? My experience might not be that bad compared to others, but I still end up crying any time I try to talk about it. And still being so sore and unable to move around much isnt helping.

Who can I talk to? Can I ask my GP to refer me to someone? And although I feel stupid for asking this is there a free service? Money is tight......

Ayla

OP - I am so sorry for your birthing experience. That sounds like it was horrible to go through, and it's no wonder you're traumatised from it. I spent months after my first was born mentally processing the event, and it was all straightforward and relatively easy...I simply cannot imagine what it'd be like to have to process something that was so hard.

I don't have any specific advise on a psychologist/counseler, but I would wholeheartedly encourage you to seek one out. How is your Public Health Nurse...any good, or someone you feel you could talk to? Or at least talk to her to ask for the name of someone you could talk to? Same thing for your GP? All I can say is do not let anyone fob you off as simply hormonal - you need to talk this out to someone supportive & make sure you're looking after yourself mentally as well as physically.

It is times like this that I wish there was a phone-line support system for new mothers just as there are for pregnancy/breastfeeding/depression services. Well, I suppose that would be one thing...you may be hardpressed to consider yourself depressed at this stage, but with all the birthing & post birth complications you've experienced you could develop post natal depression. It may be worth a call to a depression helpline (any phone numbers, anyone?). If nothing else they may be able to advise you on another support network you could contact.

It's easier said than done, but make sure you're taking care of you.

yoda2001

I would like to send you a private message - could you register rather than being a guest?

Julybreeze

Firstly I'd like to say how sorry I am that you were so badly failed my the maternity system in this country. Unfortunately women are going through births similar to yours all too often and as a midwife in training I am deeply ashamed to be linked with such neglect.

I would recommend contacting AIMS Ireland http://www.aimsireland.com/homepage/?topic=home.
Hopefully they will put you in contact with someone who can help you work through this.

Best of luck to you.

Bagheera

OP I'm very sorry to hear about your experience and I'd second insisting on another opinion. It sounds like your GP is decent anyway. I used arnica and the ring cushion as well as plenty of showers but it definitely sounds like you need further intervention.

In terms of the thrush, a friend of mine went through the same thing and eventually after her and her baby re-infecting each other several times, she expressed for a week which gave them both a chance to fight the thrush. It worked and she had no problem getting him to latch on again. Might be worth a try.

Milkymoo

In terms of Bf expressing will make little difference to your ability to get rid of thrush. It is generally recommended to treat both mother and baby simultaneously to prevent reinfection. Are you suffering from thrush on your nipples? Dr. Jack newmans website gives good information on treating this.

Roselm

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies - it is so reassuring to know that other people have had similar experiences and have recovered enough to have number 2 and done so without any trauma. I'm back to see the consultant next week so I hope I feel a little better by then.

I found the whole birth very traumatic, spent 2 days being induced, had the gel 4 times, had my waters broken, had the drip for the contractions, which was then followed by the episiotomy, suction delivery and baby whisked away into an incubator. I was monitored constantly and had so many internal exams I lost count....

Has anyone been for counselling after a traumatic birth? My experience might not be that bad compared to others, but I still end up crying any time I try to talk about it. And still being so sore and unable to move around much isnt helping.

Who can I talk to? Can I ask my GP to refer me to someone? And although I feel stupid for asking this is there a free service? Money is tight......

There is some information here you might find useful.

http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/Find_a_Service/Mental_Health_Services/Mother_and_Infant_Health/

LegacyUser

Hi, so sorry to hear about your experience. The exact same thing happened to me, my episiotomy stitches all opened. Antibiotics cleared up the infection when the episiotomy broke down and they wouldn't restitch. Apparently it heals much better on its own. I am now healed, took about 7 weeks since they opened. I was told no baths, as many warm showers to the area per day as you can manage with a new baby! No tea tree oil, no products at all. Wash with a spray bottle every time you go to the toilet and blot with kitchen paper rather than toilet paper. If you can, leave it to the air. So around the house just wear a skirt or dress with no knickers. In holles street they have two psychiatrists who can talk to you about pnd or post traumic stress, they might have same where you are? it's hard, really hard emotionally in particular. well done on keeping the breas reding up, in honesty it made my healing easier as didn't have to get up to feed which hurt a lot. Try get a scrip for good painkillers, you need them. Hope you're better soon, my heart goes out to you.

LegacyUser

Me again.... thanks for all the advice people....

But I seen my consultant again today as still in pain & still not healed. I'm now scheduled for silver nitrate treatment or dialhing? under a general anaesthetic in the first week of January.

She also said that they couldn't leave me like this for any longer, if they had of known in August that they would still be seeing me in December they would have treated me sooner. I'm devastated - seemingly you have to suffer this long to get taken seriously?

The doctor told me today I will be able to breastfeed the day after and that I won't really be in much pain, which I find really hard to believe given how much pain I have been in, and am still in, now over 4 months after having my baby.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, anyone have any experience of this and what I can expect?

I'm going to spend all Christmas worrying, dreading this and working myself up into a state.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the advice and suggestions, I'm still not better...

Seen the consultant a few days ago (my original one has left) and he said they couldn't leave me like this any longer, I think the doctor actually said it would be inhumane, so I'm booked in for a silver nitrate treatment the first week of January.

Now really really stressed about this and will spend all Christmas worrying. Does anyone have any experience of this?

The doctor explained that it would be under a general anaesthetic and that I wouldn't be in too much pain after, but given my experience so far I find that really hard to believe. She also said I'd be able to breastfeed again the next day?

I can't believe my baby is almost 5 months old and I'm still suffering like this. I'm devastated to be honest. I'm sick to death of going in every couple of weeks, getting up on the bed and ending up in tears while being examined as still so sore. Just feel like it is never going to end now.