Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Talking/making friends in college

  • 27-09-2011 5:49pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi I started a PLC course in college and while I have had some moderate success talking to people when it comes to lunchtime I usually end up on my own and hate it. There are some people I could hang out with but I don't like them too much so I choose solitude. However there are these 3 guys who I would like to hang out with, I sit moderately close to them. What annoys me is how on the first day they didn't know each other but within a week or two they were hanging out non stop and I was kinda jealous cause I want them to be friends with me too. Am I different? Why do they not like me like they like each other? Like I know I could get on good with them and I want to hang out with them, but they seem so pally with each other it makes me feel so pathetic and inadequate/. like I'm not good enough or cool enough

    I was eating lunch on my own (was in the pub near the college where everyone heads for cheap lunch!), and they invited me to sit with them and we chatted and got on fairly good even if it was small talk. They headed on onto town and invited me to go with them but I had no money so went back to school. Since then I haven't talked to them much outside of adding them on facebook. Regarding facebook they have lots of photos of nights outs and stuff while I'm the guy who has like 10 lol.... I feel it's cause I'm different or not as cool as them that they don't like me :/ I really hate myself sometimes

    I know one of the guys plays on XBL and I kinda want to ask him for his gamertag on facebook but I'm afraid I will come across as really weird, since the result of me knowing he plays on xbox is through facebook stalking

    I have no friends and I actually fantasise what it would be like to have these guys as friends but then I think they think I'm weird, I know this sounds weird but I'm lonely and think I'm a sound guy and I would make a good mate. How do I hang around with them I don't want to latch on at break time and just follow them....what should I say?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    When I started college a few years ago, I was in a similar situation. Our course was divided into 2 groups. I never really became friends while they all hit it off straight away. Looking back now, I am sure they saw me as a kind of weirdo loner. I never thought they wanted to hang around with me. So I always went my own way, while they did their thing. However, Now I am older and wiser, I know differently. If I made any kind of effort, like sitting with them for lunch (You dont need to be invited, you know them via the course, thats enough of an invite), then I would have become friends with them.

    I dont know much about the Xbox stuff you refer to, but if its up on FB, then he wants people to know. It is not FB stalking. And to me, it seems like the perfect way to initiate conversation.

    When I returned to college at another time, I was much more comfortable getting to know classmates, because I made the effort. I didnt wait to be invited for anything. If I saw a classmate, I would go up and talk to them; you always have stuff to talk about with classmates, assignments, projects etc.

    Dont make the same mistake I did when I went to college first. These guys probably want to know you better too. Everybody wants to enlarge their social circle; these guys will be no different.


  • #3
    gypsy_rose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 453 ✭✭gypsy_rose


    I would honestly just go and sit with them at breaktime and try again, and next time they're going out and they invite you come with, even if you only have money for one or two drinks. They may have taken you turning down going out with them that you weren't really bothered making friends with them so it's good to just show that you want to be friendly. You need a very thick skin making new friends in college, some people find it easy, I'm like you and struggle sometimes. You just have to keep trying and don't let it get to you too much when it fails with one person, but don't persist if they clearly aren't interested in talking to you. I think these lads are open to being your friend though so I'd give them another shot. Even if you don't end up great friends with them, the best way to make good friends is often to just have a few people to hang out who will introduce you to others etc.


Advertisement