should I go for it?

bohemian2010

hey just want to get some insight from a female point of view;Suppose Ill give some background: met a great girl in a pub on camden street the night before the all ireland final,she came up talking to me in the smoking area and we struck up a conversation, anyways long story short ended up getting on really well with her, both flirting with each other but neither made a move,our respective groups of friends were going to different clubs so we ended up in different places for the night although I felt she wanted to stay chatting, I know I definitely did! anyways stupidly I didnt ask for her number because of misplaced shyness!! am absolutely kicking myself now...We went to college in same city at same time so it turned out she knew my ex (from 4 years ago) and me her ex, so as you do I found her on FB through ex-gf and realy want to add her in order to make contact about meeting up for a drink sometime..although at same time dont want to look stalkerish/look like a fool! What ye think ladies should I go for it? what would ye think if ye were in same scenario?

Ickle Magoo

Moved from tLL - as per the forum charter:

The Ladies Lounge is not a place for men to come and start threads requesting opinions on X, Y and Z from women.

This is the forum for asking advice on issues of a personal nature. :cool:

Miss Fluff

What's the very worst thing she can do? Knock you back? If you made a genuine connection and got on well/flirted with one another I'd say she'll be delighted to hear from you Send her something lighthearted in a FB message saying that you enjoyed chatting to her and you tracked her down through the mutual acquintance you mentioned and were gutted you never thought to ask for her number. Go for it.

allgirlz

Hmm, hard to know. You may seem a bit stalkerish tracking her down through FB! However, if you have no other way to get in contact with her then perhaps it is the only way forward! Worse case scenario she rejects your friend request and you all move on. Send her a quick message saying who you are and see what happens from there, best of luck!

bohemian2010

cheers for the input.....does seem a bit stalkerish alrite....no other way of getting in contact though! jaysus i was some fool for not just asking her there and then!

XarcherX

I think you should go for it and add her... You'll be kicking yourself if you don't!

Tricia1

I mean quite clearly she's going to know you looked her up so that could backfire on you.

Also don't forget you've no absolute confirmation of her status etc.

Could end up embarassing for you.

bohemian2010

was thinking the same thing..but thought crossed my mind that maybe she just saw it as harmless flirting and maybe im reading too much into it.....and then her thinking im coming on strong if I added her....i know i know im naturally a reserved person by nature...have been told by lots of people (including her) that im good looking etc but still have a bad fear of rejection/embarassing myself

littlefriend

bohemian2010 wrote: »

have been told by lots of people (including her) that im good looking etc

I was going to say go for it anyway but now definitely go for it.

Taltos

OP please don't create the same thread in multiple forums, this can result in a ban. I have merged your two threads here now.

Taltos

Big Bag of Chips

What's the worst that can happen... I'd hazard a guess she's probably done the same thing and is wondering whether to add you!

bohemian2010

thanks for the input guys. When I think about it Rationally im thinking the same thing like there is nothing bad that could really happen....but at same time keep worrying that she'll just think "why's this weirdo doing this".....irrational i know

Tricia1

People are making valid points but the possibility is still there that this could backfire.

If she's already going out with somebody it would be embarassing for the OP.

Also he's doing this out of the blue so she's obviously going to know he looked her up. Not all girls would be impressed.

Big Bag of Chips

What harm is a bit of embarrassment? If she turns him down, chances are he'll never see her again!

People who are going out with someone will usually drop "my boyfriend/girlfriend" into the conversation somewhere. Especially if they think the other person might be interested.

If you have mutual friends then finding her on Facebook would be very easy (as it was!) And is hardly akin to "stalking".

Send a friend request.. nobody will be harmed in the process!

ongarboy

What about the other side? If you were the girl and you really fancied someone you met and got on with on the night you met and also failed to share contact info, wouldn't you be chuffed if they made an effort to locate you through an friend invite on FB as long as the message was endearing and not full on or needy of course.

Surely it would only backfire if the other half wasn't interested which means the possible relationship was never going to go anywhere anyway (which OP would never know if he didn't send the FB invite). Go ahead and do it OP!

robbiezero

think you can send a message on FB without having to be added as a friend.

ongarboy

yes, you're correct - you don't have to submit a friend invite to send someone a message.

davehey79

exactly send a message explain who you are where ye met and see what happens you might be the one added as a friend

Big Bag of Chips

I think a friend request on Facebook is much more informal and casual than a message!

If you're shy OP, just send a request with a note attached... something very short and friendly.

I'm sure the friend request won't be declined, and from there then you can build your communication (and confidence) with her.

Either way.. it's not life or death.. just do it!!

bohemian2010

right thats it gonna go for it..let ye'all know how i get on..cheers for the advice

lyno9235

Totally agree with previous poster! Too many people use the fear of embarrassment or rejection to avoid putting themselves out there. Everyone has to take chances to find love. And in my opinion most girls are flattered when men go the extra mile to make contact! She would only consider a friends request on facebook stalkerish if she had no time for you, and its obvious that's not true as she was the one that came up chatting to you.
I would say unreservedly -GO FOR IT!!