Dentist fears and eating disorder shame.

sileu

Hello, I may not be as deserving of your help as some of the patients you usually speak to on this forum.
I apologise if this offends anyone.
But i cannot seem to find somewhere to ask questions.

A couple of years ago i went through a terrible life experience which brought on eating disordered behavouirs.

I became anorexic and recently also developed a chew spit habit. I am not bulimic but i chew food and spit it. ( I apologise it's disgusting i know i am deeply ashamed of it). Whilst i do not swallow or induce vomiting i am certain it is causing erosion.

I was already afraid of dentists being generally anxious anyway. But i know of the dangers of this behavouir and want to stop. But it seems so impossible.

I am going to an eating disorder psychiatrist. He has tried to convince me to try to work up the courage to see a dentist .

Also my family know and are supportive and anxious for me to go.
I know i have brought any health problems on myself and i should have to suffer for them.

The last time i went it was about six months ago and he mentioned that there was some erosion. I asked did i grind my teeth at night as that was what it looked like to him.

I tried to explain to him and the receptionist what was going on but i dont think i did it very well. It was not something he seemed to wish to talk about.

I am trying to stop this.

But i wanted to know how most dentists feel about treating girls with eating disorders? Are they willing to?

Is there anything that can be done to protect my teeth while i am getting treatment and am getting this under control? I understand completely that ultimately of course it needs to stop. I would stop it immediately if i could.

I dont want to be seem i feel owed anything i just feel my teeth could be another thing i am losing.

Are there any dentists who know anthing about eating disorders and are willing to treat people?

I am a very nervous patient anyway i have a fear of being touched but i had managed to over come that.

I am very afraid now of dentists and ashamed of what i am and of any damage i have done. And of the fact that i am finding it difficult to stop.

I have a huge fear of loss of control. I have a huge fear of what damage i am doing and being confronted with that even though i KNOW it is best to know about it. I am terrified of being judged as a bad person and of a dentist being justifiably angry with someone who had good teeth and this is happening a lot of people were never as lucky and had to go through huge pains i am sure to get what i am ruining. And i feel so guilty. I fear being judged.

Also i have suffered abuse of a sexual nature.

And i get confused sometimes in certain situations and anxious .This was horrible with my dentist because i was unreasonably afraid and i think he felt i was judging him and i think i made him feel uncomfortable which is a terrible thing to do.

And i dont know how dentists feel about girls with eating disorders?
I am sorry if this is not an issue you deal with or if it offends anyone.


And i am deeply grateful for any advice or help and if you do know of a dentist who would feeling willing to treat me or might have experience in this i would appreciate it morethan you could know.
I know some dentists would rightfully have misgivings and issues about this and might not want to treat someone like me and i just want to say i understand this completely. And i know it might not be possible because of my own behaviours.

I am sorry if this is not an issue you deal with or if it offends anyone.

I respect dentists both as people and healthcare professionals i realize i might be nothing but a frustration and far from the ideal patient.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and especially anyone who answers.

I apologies if it seems i am blubbering or feeling sorry for myself also. Everyone has their issues but not everyone becomes a mess.

Thank you.

Oral Surgeon

Sounds like you are having a rough time Sileu, just to put your mind at ease- no dentist here or in a surgery should give you a hard time, maybe you caught the last guy at a busy time (but that's still no excuse...).

First off,
Erosion is caused by acids from your stomach or food.
While you may have some erosion from previous vomiting, this has stopped now, yes?
If your stomach is still not right from poor eating habits- you may still suffer from gastro-oesophageal reflux disease and allow small amounts of acid into your mouth at night... do you get heartburn/indigestion? Check this out with your GP, they may give advice/antacid meds..
Acidic food such as fresh fruit juices etc can cause some erosion if consumed regularly and especially if you brush your teeth straight away afterwards (don't do this!)

What's more likely given the history of chewing food and spitting it out is dental decay. Are these sweet types of food, chocolate etc? Even though you may not swallow this food, the damage to the teeth is still happening as the bacteria in your mouth are having a feast on all that sugar, producing acids to cause decay. This is a massive problem if you spend large portions of the day practicing this habit.

Also, if you are not properly fed, your saliva won't be up to scratch and you increase your decay risk. Leading on from that, if you develop an infection, your immune system won't be up to much either...

Given your phobia, I think that you should look into seeing a dentist who has the option of treating you under sedation (IV preferably). You may be more comfortable with a female, but even with a male dentist, a chaperone is mandatory at all times....

Best first step is to see a dentist for an initial consultation, xrays, diagnosis and treatment plan. Then you know what you have to do and the treatment to get you dentally fit again. Of course, all these bad habits must stop for you to having a good long term result...

Good luck,
OS

sileu

Hi Oral surgeon thank you so much for your kindness.
It means so much.

My dentist was a good guy but i dont think we communicated well. Or i did not communicate well more likely.
No i have never been bulimic just restricted and chewed /spit , but yes it does take up a good portion of time. I am so lucky never to have started purging.

When my last dentist looked in my mouth he said it was consistent withwhat you would see in people who grind their teeth at night but obviously not for that reason in my case but because of this behavouir.

Perhaps it is decay then, it is like small chipping i can feel on my teeth.

And yes it would be the kinds of foods you mention but strangely normal food too? But yes it could be a good amount of time....but it would differ wildly from day to day.

Do you know of a specific dentist or clinic who might be able to help?

Is the IV sedation you speak of done in hospital or the dentists surgery?

Oral Surgeon

Sure it is also possible that you may grind or clench your teeth too.... Grinding or clenching in conjunction with weakened tooth structure from decay or erosion may cause chipping etc...

Decay is highly likely in your situation... unfortunately

Pm sent re dental clinic

IV sedation is used in the dental surgery and there is no need to go to hospital for it in a fit and healthy patient (this cuts costs big time)

Good luck,
OS

Blatter

Hi,

One thing I took from your post is that you're extremely apologetic. You shouldn't feel that way, you have no reason to apologise. We here on boards, or any dentist anywhere throughout the world, are owed absolutely no apology here. I hope you can understand that.

sileu

You are all being so kind thank you, i have decided to make an appointment and write the dentist a letter.

It is difficult not to feel i should be apologetic.

But thank you Blatter i think its because i that anyone who helps your body does it a kindness and well hurting it because your upset seems so selfish.

On the upside somehow i managed not to chew /spit today...i dunno how.

Thank you Oral surgeon ...i am terrified!lol

But i better face it.

I hope its not too late to save them.

Thank you everyone for being so understanding i was scared even to say it here i am glad i did though.
I nevr thought i might grind my teeth aswell!

3DataModem

sileu wrote: »

You are all being so kind thank you, i have decided to make an appointment and write the dentist a letter.

It is difficult not to feel i should be apologetic.

But thank you Blatter i think its because i that anyone who helps your body does it a kindness and well hurting it because your upset seems so selfish.

On the upside somehow i managed not to chew /spit today...i dunno how.

Thank you Oral surgeon ...i am terrified!lol

But i better face it.

I hope its not too late to save them.

Thank you everyone for being so understanding i was scared even to say it here i am glad i did though.
I nevr thought i might grind my teeth aswell!

I can give you the name of a very nice female dentist in Dublin.

Ice Princess

hi ..i was reading thisthe OP is in a similar position to myself...

could you pm me the same practitioner ..Oral sugeon..
Or recommend a really good practitioner for the same reasons
anyone who wants recommend a dentist with experience in this area please do
Thank you anyone who pms...

dity

Hi there,

I know your post was put up a long time ago now. But a friend of mine is in a very similar position and she if very nervous and worried about approaching a dentist. I am trying badly to help her to get the confidence to go however i am finding it tough to find dentists that specifically deal with this situation as she is afraid she will get a dentist who will not know how to react to the amount of damage to her teeth.

I saw this post and was wondering if you found a helpful dentist ?

If you dont want to reply its no problem.

Thank yoy

Special care dentist

Hi Dity,

Fair play to you for trying to help you friend. This can be a very disabling cycle of fear, avoidance, shame and deteriorating health which can become a massive problem for some people. Ultimately, when your friend is ready ( she has to be the one who decides to do this - and yes your support can help ) google a few dentists around and ring the receptionists. You or your friend can ask to speak to the dentist personally. You will know within 2 minutes whether the dentist is right or not. If they refuse to talk to you, then you aved yourself some time - move on.

Good on you for helping your friend...

dity

Hi spd,

Thanks so much for your advise.

She was to nervous to ring around so i rang with her beside me however its mostly recoptionists who answered and when i asked to speak to a dentist most places said i would get a call back but never did or a lot of the times the receptionists have said they are nurses themselves and can help with any query. I have stated that it is a sensitive issue and that my friend would prefer to speak to the dentist but very often it seems to offen the nurses. The last place said 'our dentists our very busy and we will get them to call if they get time' but neither i or her have heard anything back. She is in such a good place compared to where she was but this is one thing holding her back. I am in the social care industry and really thought there would more help out there. Even her doctor or counsellor had no dentist they could recommend.

I will try keep ringing around though, i am just afraid the frustration of this will make regret trying.

Once again i really appreciate the reply.

Special care dentist wrote: »

Hi Dity,

Fair play to you for trying to help you friend. This can be a very disabling cycle of fear, avoidance, shame and deteriorating health which can become a massive problem for some people. Ultimately, when your friend is ready ( she has to be the one who decides to do this - and yes your support can help ) google a few dentists around and ring the receptionists. You or your friend can ask to speak to the dentist personally. You will know within 2 minutes whether the dentist is right or not. If they refuse to talk to you, then you aved yourself some time - move on.

Good on you for helping your friend...

tooth_doc

this is a a very common situation that is currently increasingly becoming prevalent, we see this a lot. treatment is normally done in stages and is planned well in advance with a lot of input from the patient. in many times a transitional or stabilizing treatment phase( minimally invasive) is done first to stop things from getting worse and once that is done the more comprehensive treatment is planned.Have you found a dentist yet?

dity wrote: »

Hi spd,

Thanks so much for your advise.

She was to nervous to ring around so i rang with her beside me however its mostly recoptionists who answered and when i asked to speak to a dentist most places said i would get a call back but never did or a lot of the times the receptionists have said they are nurses themselves and can help with any query. I have stated that it is a sensitive issue and that my friend would prefer to speak to the dentist but very often it seems to offen the nurses. The last place said 'our dentists our very busy and we will get them to call if they get time' but neither i or her have heard anything back. She is in such a good place compared to where she was but this is one thing holding her back. I am in the social care industry and really thought there would more help out there. Even her doctor or counsellor had no dentist they could recommend.

I will try keep ringing around though, i am just afraid the frustration of this will make regret trying.

Once again i really appreciate the reply.

Special care dentist

Hi Dity,

Am disappointed by your experience. There are dentists out there who will be suitable so keep looking. Many dentists who provide sedation should have some skills in dealing with patients with anxiety related and associated issues and should offer an ear. If you ask for some suggestions the guys on here will have recommendations you can try out. Again, you will know the right place when you make contact.

Good luck.

dity wrote: »

Hi spd,

Thanks so much for your advise.

She was to nervous to ring around so i rang with her beside me however its mostly recoptionists who answered and when i asked to speak to a dentist most places said i would get a call back but never did or a lot of the times the receptionists have said they are nurses themselves and can help with any query. I have stated that it is a sensitive issue and that my friend would prefer to speak to the dentist but very often it seems to offen the nurses. The last place said 'our dentists our very busy and we will get them to call if they get time' but neither i or her have heard anything back. She is in such a good place compared to where she was but this is one thing holding her back. I am in the social care industry and really thought there would more help out there. Even her doctor or counsellor had no dentist they could recommend.

I will try keep ringing around though, i am just afraid the frustration of this will make regret trying.

Once again i really appreciate the reply.

coathanger

Hi Dity,
I don't know whereabouts in the country your friend lives?But I can highly recommend Adrian Dillion of Dillions Dental,New Ross,Co.Wexford.I found him to be very understanding,sympatheic, & took time to talk to me before even looking at my teeth:)

dity

Hi tooth doc,

Thank you for your reply aswell. That information is brilliant as it was part of questions i wanted to check with a dentist.she has been doing brilliant the last couple of years now and its seems its not the fact of getting the treatment that is the issue its more having the courage to go infront of a dentist and nurses as she feels that she has brought this on herself but she knows its a very important part of her recovery now. I would really appreciate any contact details anybody would have. I have contacted about ten dentists so far and sadly i have only heard back from one. Im sure this dentist is very good but he was honest and said he felt he would be uncomfortable in this type of situation which i was very suprised at but appreciated the honesty. He did say he would arrange an appointment and give his opinion for free however i felt this would not be a positive experience for her .so she has't had a quote or any proper conversation with a dentist yet. Most nurses want me to go through the situation with them and when i seem to push for a call back from the dentist i don't get anything.so if anyone has any contact details for a dentist that knows about this situation or is comfortable with discussing it i would really appreciate it.

Thank you once again for your post

tooth_doc wrote: »

this is a a very common situation that is currently increasingly becoming prevalent, we see this a lot. treatment is normally done in stages and is planned well in advance with a lot of input from the patient. in many times a transitional or stabilizing treatment phase( minimally invasive) is done first to stop things from getting worse and once that is done the more comprehensive treatment is planned.Have you found a dentist yet?

dity

Coathanger, thanks so much. I have should have mentioned she is in dublin but i know she is willing to travel. So i definitel will mention that. Thank you i really appreciate that.

dity

Spd ,

Once again thanks for your reply. I would really appreciate any contact details anyone has. I was looking on a lot of review websites but it's something any dentist seems to soecify they deal with on their websites. She is based in dublin but i know shes willing to go anywhere as long as she feels ok with that dentist. So at this stage any recommendations would be brilliant.

I didn't even know if i would get any replies on this. Very relieved.

dity

Sorry i meant to say its something they dont seem to specify on their websites .

dity wrote: »

Spd ,

Once again thanks for your reply. I would really appreciate any contact details anyone has. I was looking on a lot of review websites but it's something any dentist seems to soecify they deal with on their websites. She is based in dublin but i know shes willing to go anywhere as long as she feels ok with that dentist. So at this stage any recommendations would be brilliant.

I didn't even know if i would get any replies on this. Very relieved.

xzanti

PM Sent.

tooth_doc

dity I am quite happy to help but I am based in galway not dublin, if she is coming to me , I would want to speak to her in advance so her visit can be optimised considering the distance she need to travel. Ideally a dentist closer to her is best but if you havent found anyone then let me know.Also it will help if she sends me any photos and xrays and records she has from any previous visit to a dentist.

dity wrote: »

Hi tooth doc,

Thank you for your reply aswell. That information is brilliant as it was part of questions i wanted to check with a dentist.she has been doing brilliant the last couple of years now and its seems its not the fact of getting the treatment that is the issue its more having the courage to go infront of a dentist and nurses as she feels that she has brought this on herself but she knows its a very important part of her recovery now. I would really appreciate any contact details anybody would have. I have contacted about ten dentists so far and sadly i have only heard back from one. Im sure this dentist is very good but he was honest and said he felt he would be uncomfortable in this type of situation which i was very suprised at but appreciated the honesty. He did say he would arrange an appointment and give his opinion for free however i felt this would not be a positive experience for her .so she has't had a quote or any proper conversation with a dentist yet. Most nurses want me to go through the situation with them and when i seem to push for a call back from the dentist i don't get anything.so if anyone has any contact details for a dentist that knows about this situation or is comfortable with discussing it i would really appreciate it.

Thank you once again for your post

dity

Tooth_doc,

Once again i appreciate the mesage.

I'll be passing on your info to her. And the details you've given there.

Thank you. Nice to know that there's a lot of people that can help in this situation.

tooth_doc wrote: »

dity I am quite happy to help but I am based in galway not dublin, if she is coming to me , I would want to speak to her in advance so her visit can be optimised considering the distance she need to travel. Ideally a dentist closer to her is best but if you havent found anyone then let me know.Also it will help if she sends me any photos and xrays and records she has from any previous visit to a dentist.

tooth_doc

there will definitely be people who can help, let her not lose hope

dity wrote: »

Tooth_doc,

Once again i appreciate the mesage.

I'll be passing on your info to her. And the details you've given there.

Thank you. Nice to know that there's a lot of people that can help in this situation.