Met a girl, no clue how to react if we see each other again

LegacyUser

Hi.

Last week at college I was approached by a girl who ended up dancing with me for the whole night at the fresher's ball. She appeared interested and even placed her hand a few places on my shirt. I won't get into much more detail but its that kind of behaviour you would expect to see a girl treating a man if she liked him more than a friend. She also called me "cute" a few times. We were hugging and kissing each other on the cheek the whole night.

Later on after I was with her for the whole time she was approached by another fella. That lad took her outside. Before they left she asked me to give them 2 minutes. I told her that was no problem, as I just met this girl and wanted to not rush things by giving her space.

Thing is there was lots of people out that night and we didn't get the chance to swap numbers so its probably not the girls fault she didn't come back to me. It was difficult to see anyone afterwards but she did seem interested in me on the dancefloor.

Since then I haven't seen her around campus, mainly because the college has thousands of students so its difficult to see anyone unless they are in your course. I'm an arts student and she's doing sciences so thats pretty much the reason it would be difficult for either of us to see each other.

I'm wondering if I do see her again around campus anytime how should I go about it? I'm not going to be too forward about it as I don't want to rush things. I was thinking that when I do speak to her again maybe say something along the lines of "you know that night at fresher's week was great fun. I think it might be an idea if we get to know each other" and take it from there.

If not, is there any better way to go about it. I have never had a gf and have little experience with women so I am new to this kind of thing.

reap-a-rat

Even with a college of thousands of people I find you tend to see a few familiar faces about the place from time to time My advice is if you do see her, just stop for a quick chat, gauge her interest and maybe say "I have to go, gimme a text if you wanna meet up sometime" and give her your number. If she texts you, she's interested, simple as

LegacyUser

reap-a-rat wrote: »

Even with a college of thousands of people I find you tend to see a few familiar faces about the place from time to time My advice is if you do see her, just stop for a quick chat, gauge her interest and maybe say "I have to go, gimme a text if you wanna meet up sometime" and give her your number. If she texts you, she's interested, simple as

Thanks for the advice.

I haven't seen her around campus since the disco but I've only been in college a few days so I probably will as time goes on.

I think when I see her again I will have a quick chat if I do see her around, just ask things like what type of music is she into, does she play any sport and that kind of thing. I actually prefer the idea of swapping numbers than giving her my number and saying you can text me whenever you want to meet up.

I've kind of learned the hard way from those kind of tactics in the past. It puts the girl on the spot when really thats not right.

reap-a-rat

You could try find out her full name too and add her on Facebook, that's often a way more kinda informal thing, that way you could chat her when she's online and find out a bit about her that way too? Could lead to something good

Hopefully you will just see her again though and see if there's a good interest still from both sides, if there is everything will come easy after that

Kevin Duffy

I wouldn't try to tell you who to like or be attracted to, but it's college and you have 4 years of it, so don't fixate on the first girl you talk to. Chances are, she'll be meeting lots of new people, just like everyone else is and you should be too. It's a big part of college life, enoy it and learn from it

Tricia1

For me you are wasting your time.

The fact that she automatically went outside with another guy and asked you to give them two minutes doesn't look good.

Also if she had a genuine interest in you she would have hung around you longer and/or would have given you her number or given you the opportunity to ask for it.

I think it's a no brainer. She's not interested IMO.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the advice people, it means a lot to me.

I think I more than likely won't be adding her on facebook for a while anyways. Reason being is that both of us started college, we are both only meeting new people so right now if I added her and we had no mutual friends that would be kind of awkward. Plus knowing her second name does not guarantee in any way I will find her page because there is always thousands of other people with the same name. I would be likely to add her when we do get to know each other and have plenty of friends in common.

I'm not going to spend my college years fixated on her because I know at the end of the day I'm paying 2 grand a year for an education. My academic work is always at the front of my mind and it always comes before my social life so I wouldn't worry about that too much. And I will defo try to get to know more people as well not just her.

On the subject of knowing she mightn't be interested. I will be willing to accept that if thats the case. If it does turn out that way I will move on to another girl when the time comes and when another girl makes a move on me. I'm only asking for advice on how I should react if I do see her again.

Cherry_Angel

YOUNG LOVE

If you like her, you know she's in 1st science get the timetable and stalk all classes... You will find her eventually!!

LegacyUser

Cherry Angel I understand that is a joke but stalking is most certainly not an option, I'm not that kind of guy and I know if I ever went down that route I would regret it.

I will be happy enough to bump into her on coincidence but I'm not doing anything that would spoil my chances altogether.

Ickle Magoo

Cherry_Angel, I see you are a relatively new poster. Please note: this is a forum for offering mature and constructive advice.

Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

If you haven't already done so, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.

amen

you know she's in 1st science get the timetable

I hope I don't get a ban/infraction but this is actually good advice.

I had a similar situation as the op (but before mobile phones!) but got seperated in a rather crazy crowd surge.

I knew her name, subject and year and after finding her timetable (no internet in those days so took some time) I happened to be walking by her lecture hall as the lecturer ended.

Went for a few dates had a good time and that was it but turned out to be really good friends and are still friends 20 years later.

LegacyUser

Firstly thanks again for all the replies.

I just wanted to let you all know that I managed to catch up with this girl again during the week. Only I didn't say "you know I really enjoyed that night out and I think we should get to know each other more". I was going to say that if I saw her on her own and then ask for her number but she was with a group of friends (who were all girls).

We chatted for a bit, just normal how is college going, are you commuting or on-campus are you enjoying your subject choices and all that.

There are two scenarios, which could have took place and I was apprehensive about either.

If I had of only asked for her number it would have looked like I was asking her out of favouritism in front of the group.

If I had of asked for all the girls numbers I would have looked like a player.

I was thinking maybe I should get to know the girl in her group before anything else like asking her out just so neither of the two awkward scenario's above would take place.

Taltos

OP - next time - just - "hey, can't really stop - on way for a coffee before my next lecture - sure do you want to come along?"

Ignore the rest... You are in serious danger of landing yourself into the friendzone here - once you have that ticket it is hard to get out. Look - you know you like her - so be forward but not brash - confidence - even shy confidence goes a long way.

I am saying this as someone who nearly fell into this trap too - waited too long and nearly lost any chance - so go on - believe in yourself and just see if she wants to join you. If she refuses - no biggie - go have that coffee anyway - if she accepts well you are already ahead there then

Best of luck.

qwertytlk

Op dont be so serious about it all. And i really mean that in a constructive kind of way. If its a case that you didnt want to ask her for her number, or offer yours, in front of all her friends then thats understandable, but next time you see her just casually say 'want to go for a coffee' or ' sure heres my number, if your going out the weekend/want to go out etc etc'. It seems you really like her so hope you get the chance to know her better but as another poster said, try not to fall into being friends as i personally have found that if i got friendly with someone then they asked me out, i couldnt look at them in a boyfriend kind of way...but that could be just the paticular situations i was in. Anyway best of luck with it all and remember, Just be yourself.

qwertytlk

uni freshman wrote: »

I was thinking maybe I should get to know the girl in her group before anything else like asking her out just so neither of the two awkward scenario's above would take place.

so does this mean that you will be seeing her around again or how did you leave things? Just wondering as you previously said you were on two different courses so probably wouldnt get to see her around much....so will there be some opportunity coming in where the above quoted text will be possible or were you talking in general terms when you may happen to bump into her again

LegacyUser

qwertytlk wrote: »

so does this mean that you will be seeing her around again or how did you leave things? Just wondering as you previously said you were on two different courses so probably wouldnt get to see her around much....so will there be some opportunity coming in where the above quoted text will be possible or were you talking in general terms when you may happen to bump into her again

I've only seen her once since Fresher's week, which is the scenario I mentioned above, so it depends.

I think I probably will, I'm getting to see more familiar faces around now that I've been in college a few weeks.

But you guys are right, the friendzone is not a nice place and I won't fall into it.

I think so long as I show an interest whenever I see the girl on her own rather than just being overly friendly and acting like a big goody-two-shoes. I know that would ruin my chances altogether so I definitely won't go down that route.

qwertytlk

Ok well thats good. And best of luck with it all, i really mean that OP. And be sure to let us know if there are any interesting developments!

LegacyUser

qwertytlk wrote: »

Ok well thats good. And best of luck with it all, i really mean that OP. And be sure to let us know if there are any interesting developments!

No interesting developments so far.

I'm guessing that I will probably see her on ocassion as I've started to see a lot more familiar faces around the college who I didn't see often at the start.

Right now there are other girls that I want to get to know so it will more than likely be the case of me being friendly with a few and then perhaps there will be a spark with one of them.

The society meetings are starting now so hopefully I might meet more girls at them. Not specifically hoping the girl I mentioned in my first post will be in any but I am open to the idea of not being so bugged down in getting into a relationship because it is important to get to know lots of people first and have a group I am comfortable with.

Ickle Magoo

qwertytlk wrote: »

Ok well thats good. And best of luck with it all, i really mean that OP. And be sure to let us know if there are any interesting developments!

This forum doesn't exist to satiate posters morbid curiosity or keep them entertained - please do no request that posters keep the thread updated.