a head wreck? or is he?

LegacyUser

I would appreciate an outsiders opinion.on something because my head is wrecked. And I want to see if I was over reacting or not.

So where do I start.

A friend of a friend. Well i met him a couple of months ago and one thing led to another and we shared a night together. Afterwards we spoke briefly on the lines of it was a good night, we should do it again.

Without going into details he played a bit of a head wreck with me afterwards. Something happened where he proved himself to be untrustworthy. Nothing major. In fact it was only something small but trust was lacking after that. Pretty much he pulled my leg. Also his messages, one minute he is hot showing interest, the next he's cold. Whereas before we got it together he was pretty full on with the messages. So I got the impression during the summer that he really wasn't interested.

So then what happens after that. I left some space between us. September rolls around. A couple we knew were getting married and I sent him a message on facebook wishing him well and hope he enjoys the weekend.

He replied and in his message he was reinforcing the idea of another session.

Something clicked and I snapped with me and I came down like a ton of bricks on him being very stern. I told him that I simply do not have any time for such sh1t. He replied back that he never meant to hurt me and that he is interested in getting to know me more. I don't know if I should give him a chance. I'm really not one for holding grudges.

Despite all this he is a nice guy. And also we did share an amazing night together. I suppose right now I'm mourning the fact that I've told him to feck off and that I won't be getting another night with him. I really did like him and I was hoping for more whether that would have been regular sessions or a relationship.

Zen65

headwreckee wrote: »

He replied and in his message he was reinforcing the idea of another session.

What was he suggesting, another "session" or a meet-up? If he's just suggesting more sex then maybe it's just a "booty call" thing, but if he wants to get to know you then why not meet up?

If you want to know whether or not he wants to get to know you, meet up but be sure the night does not end up with the two of you having sex. Let him know that if he wants that there has to be more to it, like an actual relationship!!

Be at peace,

Z

It's somewhat hard to know what the story is with the pieces you've left out - for instance what he actually did that makes you not trust him. Was he actually saying anything about another "session" or was this you jumping to conclusions?

BattleCorp

Hi OP.

He does seem to be blowing hot and cold alright. The fact that he played games with you after you had your "session" isn't a good sign. I don't know what he did to prove himself untrustworthy but usually when trust is gone, it's gone for good.

And the fact that he intimated to you that he wanted another "session" isn't exactly the way you go about things. He only said he wanted to get to know you more after you tore strips off him.

However, he did man up and apologise when you gave out to him so maybe there's some good in him.

Look, you obviously like him and like you said, you aren't one for holding grudges. I'd talk to him a bit more and find out why he blew hot and cold after you first hooked up. If it's another "amazing" night you want, then go for it. Personally I'd want a few more answers before I'd go jumping in bed with him.

seenitall

Hi OP.

The short response: yes, he is - steer well clear.

The longer response: he may not mean to be a head-wrecker, but given your feelings on the subject, which fairly jump off the screen with attachment to this hot-and-cold-player, this can only end in one way, and you have diagnosed it well with your username.

Move on before you get really hurt. Playing the game of cat and mouse for months on end never leads to anything satisfying at all. If you are after more amazing nights with someone, find a guy where you won't have to wonder what's going on all the time!

Overheal

the OP is so little to go off; Don't let this guy bother you. If you want to have another night go ahead but I advise making it Care-free. Maybe this guy is completely gun shy about commitment or something, who knows what his problem is. I wouldn't tell you to see a future with him, but if you want to blow off some steam with the guy by all means, full steam ahead.

Miss Fluff

Seems to me like you've been the one instigating all the contact so he knows you're interested and said he would like to meet up for another night of NSA sex. That's it. Him saying he wants to get to know you better after you having a go is a pretty blatant example of back-tracking if you ask me.

If you are happy to see him as a f8ck buddy then continue to chase him by all means but it seems clear from your post that you are already too emotionally attached to be happy with the dynamic and leave it at that. Yes he will wreck your head.

I also think it's telling that you're reluctant to tell us what he did to make you not trust him. You've only spent the night together and you're already protecting him.

This has car crash written all over it. If you have the self awareness at this juncture to recognise this then chalk it down to a fun night that won't be going any further....