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Do I have a chance?

  • 23-09-2011 11:07am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So I broke up with my gf of over a year about 2 months ago. She is 35 I'm 31. She said she just wasn't happy wtih the relationship and there was a lot of pressure on both of us. Yes it had become toxic but I moved country for her and we were suddenly living together for a while and the whole thing was weird and I was insecure and needy etc and had kind of lost the run of myself, which yes is not very attractive.

    So anyways. After pleading with her (like a chump) for a while after breaking up I accepted she didn't want to have anything to do with me and I started no contact for about 5 or 6 weeks. She texted me a couple of times in this space to "see if I was ok" and I ignored. Then on Saturday before last she called me, I ignored her the first time but picked up her next call and she said "I just wanted to see if you were ok", and I said yes I'm fine, but why are you calling? What if i was not ok? What would you do about it? And she said sorry I'm being selfish etc, then we chatted for a bit. Anyway a few days later I emailed her and told her that I was getting help for some issues I had and explained a lot of stuff that was going on and how I'm getting better. She didn't reply but I asked her to meet me for coffee on Wednesday last and she did. We had a nice chat for nearly an hour and at the end she said "ok lets just play things by ear, we'll do this again soon", and kissed me on the cheek and left.

    What should I do? Should I just wait for her to contact me? It's been 2 weeks now so I'll give up on it, but I was in a bad place mentally while I was with her and feel much better now. It's just so weird that she gives me like 5 weeks after I move here, having been so enthusiastic about it, then suddenly realises she doesn't fancy me and wants to move on. Hard to take :(. She could do a lot worse! So do I just leave it to her and in the meantime get on with my life?


Comments

  • #2
    fungun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    She broke up with you 5 weeks after you moved country to be with her??? Crikey, problems or not, Id have expected her to try to work things out for a bit longer than that (unless things were not great before you came over, in which case you only have yourself to blame :) )

    Sounds like she is having second thoughts (possibly related to you sorting some stuff out, but maybe not). Its up to you now. If you think you are mentally better off without this hassle and without this relationship, then Id play it by ear but get on with you life and dont wait around for her.


  • #3
    seenitall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,723 ✭✭✭seenitall


    raisondetre wrote: »
    So do I just leave it to her and in the meantime get on with my life?

    Yes. But I wouldn't be hoping for too much from her, OP; "let's play it by ear" I would take to mean in this case "I'm not too pushed, really".

    Move on with your life and do your best to detach from her emotionally. Which, considering the reasons behind your break-up, may turn out to be the means of her regaining her interest in, and attraction for you. (Or it may not be, but at least you will be free of this kind of anxiety, and able to move on emotionally.)


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