What to do...

LegacyUser

Goin unreg obviously and will keep as short as possible

I've been in a Long distance relationship for almost 3 years, a few months ago I dropped everything ie friends and family to move to my girlfriends home town. We talked about this for a very long time and it's what we both wanted. It started out great, so much fun, just the 2 of us but over the last week or 2 things have gone a bit... Meh(?) we barely talk, she used to tx and ring from work, as did I but now nothing, I tx and might get one back a few hours later, the only time sh says I love you is if I say it first, feels like I'm forcing her to say it, all this is made worse from the fact she works very long days usually 8-9 and it won't/can't change for the forseable future

Now I realise she may jus be tired but I do take that into consideration, I cook dinner, clean the house, pretty much everything to do with the house as I'm unemployed but I don't think that's the problem

I did ask a few times what was wrong but just got the "I'm fine" when I pushed a little further and said that we weren't the same and we need to fix it before it gets worse she acknowledged it an said were stuck in a rut but since that, about 2 days ago, there's still no effort, I'm trying my best but can't seem to be getting anywhere!

I truely love this girl and can see a great future for us but it's getting more difficult, that and not having anyfriends/family around is leaving me feeling lost

Huge rant more than anything, feels so good to get it all out even if no one sees it

Elmidena

Since you've spent so long in a long-distance relationship, she might not be used to someone being around all the time. Perhaps she feels guilty that she works and you don't? Or maybe a little bitter?

Try inject some romance into it....when she comes in from work one night have a candlelit dinner or a bubble bath run or a bottle of wine, just something to unwind that isn't a big deal, can make her feel comfortable and costs next to nothing

Also, she probably isn't texting because she's at work a lot and knows that she'll see you when she gets in, rather than risking her job for getting caught texting.

Maybe the house is TOO clean for her liking though, she might be used to it having a bit of a "lived in" feel to it, or maybe she likes looking after the house and feels like it isn't her home anymore. Don't push the issue and just try to make her feel at ease for the time being. She might just be feeling a bit overwhelmed with you sacrificing it all to be with her and made her realise that she's now a proper adult or something. But hope it all goes well

dafunk

Maybe she needs some time by herself. She's in work all day, 8-9 hours is a normal work day btw, and then she gets home to find you there. I was in a similar situation years ago and it drove me crackers. I yearned for even a half an hour to myself, at home, when my oh wouldn't be there just for me time, whatever about having some space to do your girlie things like wax your legs or chat to a mate on the phone or whatever. I'm not suggesting you disappear but why not join a club or something that would mean you'd be out of the house one evening a week? I could be way off the mark but it's worth asking her if she feels crowded.


It could be that you not working is bothering her. Women these days are well used to being self sufficient and independent but having said that we still like to be with a man who does a days graft and I cant speak for other women but I speak from experience when I say that when my past bfs didn't work it was a major turn off for me and it pissed me off that I was out of the house working for 10-11 hours a day and they were flaking around the gaff doing **** all (not saying you're doing **** all but maybe thats her perception?).

It's possibly just that's she's not used to spending so much time with you. You've moved to her town so I assume shes got a life for herself there and you're just settling in? It's a big adjustment for both of you. Maybe she feels that after being in work all day she has abandoned you and should spend the evening with you but maybe her usual routine of spending time with friends, family, going to the gym, whatever has been thrown out of whack by you being there full time.


Anyway, All of these guesses could be wrong. Communication is key, sit down and have a chat to her about it.

qwertytlk

Kind of in a similar sitation myself, except we have just had a baby, which makes it more complicated... God relationships, and life, are hard sometimes.