getting close to a girl with a boyfriend!

LegacyUser

Hello Peoples,

Goin unreg for this have a small problem compared to some of the things on this forum

Asked a woman from work out bout 2 months ago she said no as she was kind of seeing a guy at the time which is now her boyfriend. The thing is since then she has started talking to me a lot more and when i see her in work we would email each other the odd time.

Last month we have got really close and we would email each other everyday we are in work and she also got my number by asking a friend of mine what it is which i was suprised about and we would text each other the odd time. I only the boyfriend to say hello and that about it but my problem is am i doing anything wrong but emailing and texting her. Yes i do like her a lot and have done for some time and i make sure that in general i dont email or text her first out of respect for the boyfriend but im just wondering is there anything wrong in what im doing.

Thanks

WANTStoWORK

I don't see what the harm is, lots of guys have friends who are girls, Having said that this girl knows that you like her and she is playing you me thinks.

nicechick!

bloopyblop wrote: »

Hello Peoples,

Goin unreg for this have a small problem compared to some of the things on this forum

Asked a woman from work out bout 2 months ago she said no as she was kind of seeing a guy at the time which is now her boyfriend. The thing is since then she has started talking to me a lot more and when i see her in work we would email each other the odd time.

Last month we have got really close and we would email each other everyday we are in work and she also got my number by asking a friend of mine what it is which i was suprised about and we would text each other the odd time. I only the boyfriend to say hello and that about it but my problem is am i doing anything wrong but emailing and texting her. Yes i do like her a lot and have done for some time and i make sure that in general i dont email or text her first out of respect for the boyfriend but im just wondering is there anything wrong in what im doing.

Thanks

It depends on the tone of conversation is it suggestive/flirtatious to be perfectly honest its likely she's loving the attention and doing this for her own ego!! Harsh I know but she obviously knows there is an interest there so to be honest keep things friendly put professional she's in a relationship so don't go getting your hopes up... if your happy with friendship then there is nothing wrong with this

Taltos

It all depends on the nature of the communication.
There is a huge risk here that you are her ego-stroker - and that nothing will ever come from this except a broken heart for you if you still care about her.

If you do still care then depending on the texts ask her what she is playing at. You may have to break all contact. You might also want to look at the type of person she is if her texts are of an inappropriate nature while she is dating someone else - is that someone you really want to get involved with.

Best of luck.

fungun

Sounds like you are Plan B.

LegacyUser

Could be that because she knows you are aware she's unavailable, she feels she can relax and be a proper friend without worrying that you'll make a move on her.
Treat her the same as all of your other friends and if you feel she's only talking to you because she loves the attention then don't let her use you.

Tricia1

You still have to be professional at work.

She's already seeing someone so i would most certainly not go there for a whole host of reasons.

Nothing wrong with being genuinely polite to her if you run into her, but i'd definitely leave it at that.

You are at best, as fungun said, plan B. Someone to use as a safety net for if she becomes single.

You could equally as likely be (what I would see as worst case scenario) a guy she works with that she turned down one time, who she flirts with because it makes her feel good/powerful/attractive, but who has no chance with her.

Either scenario seems pretty unattractive to me.

If I were you, I'd continue to reply to her in a non-flirtatious way, never instigating contact and never making her think she's got you in either of the two situations above. It's totally possible that she does just want to be friendly to you, but I don't think you'd be worried about it if there wasn't something there.

as a female in a very male-dominated profession, i think maybe she just feels secure now in her relationship and is happy to JUST BE FRIENDS with you.

where i work its pretty much 90% male and i must admit i feel much happier and more relaxed being friendly with the guys i work with when,
a) they are married ( so no chance of anything happening)
b) i am in a happy relationship.

in the above two situations, its like the chance or option of anything happening is taken away completely, makes friendships easier.

perhaps this is what happened with her? she feels easier in your company now because in her mind the only thing that will happen is friendship?

as long as thats ok with you, what harm?