How to get ex back

Rossiek

To cut a long story short my boyfriend of about 4 months recently broke up with me.

Essentially it was as a result of a mistake I made that upset him and he decided to move on.

However, I have never felt so strongly about someone after such a short period of time and as a result I am devastated about the break up.

Just looking for general advice on how to approach getting him back. We didn't exactly part amicably so I need to be careful. I want to do something out of the ordinary (not a huge gesture, I wasn't with him for long enough for this and I don't want to come across as a complete weirdo lol).

Obviously there's a big chance it's a lost cause too a small gesture needs to the way to go...

Justask

You dont simple as,

He broke up with you for a reason that he felt was strong enough to end the relationship.

IMO if you go chassing after some guy the relationship is doomed.

I know thats not what you want to hear but if I was you i'd be moving on to.

Rossiek

Justask wrote: »

You dont simple as,

He broke up with you for a reason that he felt was strong enough to end the relationship.

IMO if you go chassing after some guy the relationship is doomed.

I know thats not what you want to hear but if I was you i'd be moving on to.

Yes I totally appreciate that. However I really feel I need to try or I'll regret it forever. Even if it doesnt go well I'll feel I have more closure on it cos I tried.

People break up and get back together every day of the week. Not all break ups mean u should immediately move on.

Justask

Rossiek wrote: »

Yes I totally appreciate that. However I really feel I need to try or I'll regret it forever. Even if it doesnt go well I'll feel I have more closure on it cos I tried.

People break up and get back together every day of the week. Not all break ups mean u should immediately move on.

If you want to go down that road, just ask him to meet you for a coffee and tell him how you feel. The gesture thing IMO is kinda school yard stuff.

Best of luck hope it turn out well

LegacyUser

Please please for your own sake... let it go.
Im telling you as someone who has been in exactly that position myself. I chased after a guy that broke up with me after we had been together a year.
Things ended badly with us also as a result of me being a complete jealous idiot. As a result he broke up with me.
I chased him and it really just made things worse and I think it just pushes the guy even further away.
Guys dont like to be chased after - they like to be the ones that do the chasing - thats in my experience anyway.
Then again - you could find that he may come back to you. Again with the same guy it happened to me. I found that when I stopped chasing and didnt contact him - he came back after me and as soon as I fell into that trap again and started showing my interest he backed away completely. It broke my heart as I thought I was back in with a chance with him. Like yourself I really thought this was the guy for me. But then again he told me that he has walked away from every girl he had ever been with. So maybe I had a lucky escape. I dont know.

Do yourself a favour. He broke up with you. Walk away from it before it gets any worse for you. Think about it. If you chase him and beg him to get back with you and he does.. you will be questioning every day if thats what he wants and when will he do it to you again.

Walk away

gargleblaster

The best way to attempt a reconciliation would depend in large part on why you broke up, IMO (e.g. if you cheated you'd need to make it clear it was a huge mistake that you regret, and that you'd do anything to regain his trust).

I wouldn't think that any kind of gesture would work. For me it would be down to communication.

fungun

For a gesture to have any meaning it needs to represent something about him or your reln, so I dont think you can expect any general handy tips. Think about what he likes and maybe you will come up with something.

However I have to say I would be more moved by a girl telling me she really misses me and would love a second chance rather than a grand gesture.

Rossiek

Oh no I didn't cheat! I think cheating after 4 months would not a reconcilable situation make!

I really don't kwow what kind of advice I'm looking for, sorry about that, maybe I'll just let the dust settle and call him in a few week.

LegacyUser

Nah, go for it! Yes you can come on here and look for advice. Yes the majority of people here will tell you not to bother, to just try and get over it... But where's the fun in that?! Yes, you're opening yourself up to the possibility of embarrassing yourself, but is it not better to have tried and known than not bother at all?

Gestures? Hmm... A nice card with an apology along with a small gift that you could give him at coffee. Tell him how you feel, that you know that you've been only together for 4 months but that you really like him and think it's a waste to just end it there?

tannytantans

OP could you send him maybe an email/facebook message and just lay out your feelings. Sometimes it's so much easier to express yourself through writing than face to face. Also, you said it didn't end amicably so it might avoid any rows etc.

I'd make sure not to sound too stalkerish. Just explain that you really regret your mistake, that you miss him etc and maybe at the end say that you'd love to meet up for a coffee at some stage. Then the ball's in his court. Don't be surprised if you receive no reply but at least you can say you tried.

WhatWillBee

Go for it, meet him and tell him how you feel and explain why whatever caused yez to break up won't be a problem anymore. If you do talk to him, do it in person (texts/emails can be misinterpreted and rarely accurately convey exactly how you feel) and give him time after to mull it over, don't push him to make a decision there and then.

What exactly have you got to lose at this point?

Rossiek

WhatWillBee wrote: »

Go for it, meet him and tell him how you feel and explain why whatever caused yez to break up won't be a problem anymore. If you do talk to him, do it in person (texts/emails can be misinterpreted and rarely accurately convey exactly how you feel) and give him time after to mull it over, don't push him to make a decision there and then.

What exactly have you got to lose at this point?

Exactly, I have nothing to lose, except maybe a small bit of pride if he tells me to do one!