I am very social anxious.

whatcartoget

I am an 18 year old male and I have recently started college and I am finding it very hard to get on with people. I don't mean to be this way it's jus the way I am and I want it to change.
My mother was a good mother and raised me well. I have very good manours and I can look after myself and have my own intersts. I managed to struggle through school with people I used to talkto no majour friends but just people I talked to in school and I very rarely went out with them after school. My mother didn't really like the idea of me going out drinking/etc so I didn't to keep her happy. I am now 18 and I know if I ever do go on a night out I will have to drink and I have no idea of my limits.
I have tried to get on with my room mates but we haven't really clicked yet so I will continue to try with them. I have barely spoken to people in my college year and when I have I sort of have being egnored by people. Even the sound of my voice makes me cringe to be honest I am a very self conscous guy for some reason. I get nervous all the time I often to nervous to leave the house or when I am out just in a shop I sweet bucked loads and I have no idea why. I am sorry for spelling mistakes as I am kind of busy noe and in a rush doing this.

livinsane

Like you, I was extremely shy starting college. I didn't know anyone and felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. The college was huge, so I doubt I did.

I stayed in my room alot. Same as you, used to get very hot and sweaty when I was out in public.

I thought I was the only one. When I left college and exchanged memories with other people, turned out that the people I thought were living the high life were also spending alot of time on their own and had the same hang ups I had.

Looking back, the best thing for my confidence was getting a part time job.
You get used to talking to people. You have less time to think about yourself, and if you are socially anxious, you are probably driving yourself crazy overthinking every thing.

I still didn't totally enjoy college and when you are young, it can be hard to build up confidence. It takes a long time to achieve that.

If you have a talent, or are good at a sport etc. you should exploit that. Join a club or society. It is much easier to make friends if you have something to talk about.

If you are not used to drinking, take it easy when you go out. Some of the most interesting fun people I met at college drank very little. Spent more time going to the cinema or watching dvds at people's houses.

Just go with the flow and don't over think things. There are loads of people like you, and starting college is the most daunting thing you can do. It can be lonely at times but it's one of those life experiences that will help you in a lot of ways.

whatcartoget

Thanks for the advice. My bedroom window basically is facing the entrance gatese to the apartements. So I see every one going in and out having fun and I want that but I just don't know how to get. I feel like the biggest retard ver being here I know the other feguys prob think I am weird all ready. Even the food I eat is different. I just feel like I am a social reatard even today I had to go to tesco. This was sort of hard for me because I wasn't in my local town. I couldn't find something I wanted o I asked a woman who worked there and she snapped at me the tisaying that's not my isle and this made me feel terriable I just went to till and paid. .

LegacyUser

Hi OP - reading your post is like what i felt in college. I barely spoke to anyone and I was constantly anxious - i tried counselling and reki and tablets - everything i could think of. In my final year I met my first boyfriend! At 22 my first boyfriend - very old according to some. I lived at home during college so at least you have moved out of home - thats great for your confidence. Im now 28 and still feel anxious sometimes. For me the older i get the more sure of myself and my abilities i become. I would try counselling and some relaxation techniques. I really feel for you and I know what your going through. x

whatcartoget

Hi! Thanks for the advice. I went for the last few night and meet people from the other apartements when drunk and they were sound enough and people on my course but the next day these people aretotally different when they are not drunk.

LegacyUser

Hi OP. First of all you sound like a lovely person and I'd be happy to know you! Part of the reason people become socially anxious is because on some level they believe people aren't going to like or accept them for who they are, so they become overwhelmed by the pressure of putting on a facade for people. You just need to relax and stop viewing other people as such an important presence in your life - easier said than done, I know, but believe me, it becomes easier once you put it in perspective. You seem optimistic and very willing to make the effort and that's great. Why don't you bite the bullet and ask some of your flatmates if they want to go for coffee? Have you joined any societies?