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Scared

  • 12-09-2011 12:58am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So this is probably the most talked about topic on here, sorry to add another one :P But yea I'm gay and am totally terrified of coming out. I'm a 20 year old guy and I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 6 months. I love him so much and am sick of hiding him from everyone, I want people to see that we are happy together :( I just can't bring my self to tell my family though, I think the reason I am so nervous about it is because when I was growing up my parents never talked about sex, so its like an awkward subject to bring up. I am almost 100% sure that my siblings know I am gay though, sometimes I wish they would just bring it up so it would make it a lot easier but they never say anything.

    I have been mulling over this for a long time now so I am just looking for advice I guess? Any tips on how to get over the nerves and go ahead with it. Even the thought of it makes me feel sick :(


Comments

  • #2
    boredboard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 52 ✭✭boredboard


    I would say, tell a close sibling. If you think they know they definitely do and by the sounds of it, if they haven't brought it up they respect your decision to keep it to yourself... hope that helps; you will be pleasantly relieved I'm sure of it. (I never thought I'd be giving advice like this but I can empathise with your situation)
    BTW you are still very young (not meant to be patronising) but the sooner you take life by the reins the better for yourself.


  • #3
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,158 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    You'll get some good advice on here - in addition I would suggest ringing the national LGBT helpline www.LGBT.ie

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #4
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    I also think you should tell a sibling first before your parents. Are you close to your siblings anyway? And if you already have a feeling they know your gay and they haven't reacted horribly to you about it then I'd say go for it! But in your own time. You are still young and there's no need to rush it. Come out when you're ready.

    If you have your siblings on your side then telling your parents will be easier.

    Do any of your friends know? Do you have any close friends that you would be able to come out to? That helps too.

    Best of luck with it anyway :)


  • #5
    wayfarers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 287 ✭✭wayfarers


    Hi OP. Why the pressure to come out? Is your boyfriend putting pressure on you to come out to your parents? TBH until you feel comfortable with the idea of your parents knowing then don't beat yourself up over it. My straight mates didn't beat a path to my door to tell me they were straight likewise I didn't feel any urge until I was ready to tell them or my parents I was gay and I did when I was about 4 years older than you are now. Be your own self, live by what you want to tell people and when. I think there's a heavy onus on people within the gay community to be out and visible as its a healthier option (mentally) than being closeted but from the sounds of it you're doing ok- you have a boyfriend, you sound like you care about your parents and their feelings. Go easy on yourself and don't stress. :)


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