Still way too hung up on him

LegacyUser

I don't really know what I'm expecting to get back on this - just really need some guidance or something.

Was going out with a guy for a couple of months. Felt like I knew him forever, we got on really really well and basically things moved forward pretty quickly - mainly him pushing it as I would normally be extremely cautious about these kind of things.

FF and then all of a sudden he changes his mind and I get dumped. Now I know we weren't going out that long and I should move on and forget about it but I can't stop thinking about him and missing him. It's so difficult to put it behind me and get on with things. I really feel like we had a serious connection (maybe that sounds a bit mad after such a short space of time but it's true) and I know it's over now but I can't move on from it for some reason. We work together unfortunately so I have to see him a good bit. Not necessarily interact with him much but I will bump into him.

Any advice appreciated. I know I'm too hung up on this guy and I need to move on, I just can't seem to do it.

I am a friend

Firstly sorry to hear this has happened to you but I have to ask where you think it's getting you by holding on to the past? Tbh, nowhere is the answer...

You felt a connection but sadly he didn't and that's one of the perils of the dating game - it is a game and some you win but most you lose.

By holding onto this, you are stopping yourself meeting someone else.. It's hard having to face him at work but all the more motivation to get your act together, look well and stick a smile on Your face.

Zen65

alilbitohelp wrote: »

I know I'm too hung up on this guy and I need to move on, I just can't seem to do it.

...and that's your answer in a nutshell.

Don't ridicule yourself by saying you can't move on: you were fully functional before you met, so you're well capable of continuing without him. It's a decision you need to make, nothing more.

Avoid bumping into him for a while at work, but don't let that interfere with doing your job.

Lastly - when you look for / find somebody else, it's best if it's not somebody you work with. Life gets complicated with an ex in your workplace, but two ex's in one workplace could make your life exceedingly difficult.


Be at peace,


Z

solovely

As you say yourself, you know you need to get over him. Here's a few tips from my experience.

Keep yourself as busy as you can. Don't sit around the house moping, watching TV. Take up a new hobby, something completely unrelated to him, something you wouldn't normally do.

Don't keep Facebook/ google stalking him (for this one, unfortunately, I don't practise what I preach).

Go out, get drunk, kiss a randomer. He needs to not be the last guy you kissed. Even find someone else (online or in the real world) to text, just to have someone else to distract you. Guys use and abuse all the time, and lots of rebound relationships turn into the real thing, so it wouldn't necessarily be that. But don't go out looking for someone to replace him, just look for some fun. And whatever you do, please try not to compare any future guys to him.

Don't get bitter about him. Don't burn photos, delete him from Facebook, etc. just see him as a happy part of your past that has now moved on. Don't focus on the heartbreak, just see it as something good that's no longer around.

Good luck. Enjoy singledom, there's plenty of fun to be had, don't waste it moping around!!!