Forgotten Wedding Anniversary

LegacyUser

Hi just wanting someone elses opinion.

Today is my 10th wedding anniversary but my DH forgot all about it until I gave him my card and present this morning. I thought at first he was joking and that he would pull a gift out from somewhere but alas no!

I didn't make a fuss but inside I was a little disappointed that he could have forgotten it. Our wedding anniversary is forever linked to the 9/11 tragedy as we were on honeymoon there when it happened so with all the talk about the 10th anniversary of 9/11 I was full sure that he would definitely remember this year!!

He even made a remark over breakfast along the lines of "sure I never remember dates and it's no big deal anyway!" I was very stung by this, but should I be?

I'm now at home on my own thinking about it and feeling dejected. Should I be cross with him for forgetting it or am I just making a mountain out of a molehill? Does anyone else understand where I'm coming from - I mean 10 years married is a big deal and something to be celebrated - or is it?

Please let me know your opinion on this one

Taltos

I think you have every right to be cheesed off, I would be too.

Maybe one approach would be to sit him down later. And calmly explain that in his little off the cuff remark he upset you. Clearly dates, anniversaries don't mean that much to him - but surely by now unless he is blind he knows that they mean alot to you.

I wouldn't belabour the point and who knows maybe he has a surprise planned - but at least share with him how you felt.
It could be that maybe he is under huge pressure in work and it slipped his mind - he could be in fear of losing his job - but at the same time the "no big deal" is a bit of a smack in the face.

Uriel.

Has he forgotten your wedding anniversary or a birthday before... like is this out of character for him???

I am just thinking, given that it's a significant anniversary this year, that he might have something planned for tonight for you for a surprise or something and he's pretending to have forgotten?

Neyite

Just in case he has a surprise planned, I would wait a day or two to bring the subject up with him. Give him the benefit of the doubt for today. Tomorrow if he has not came up trumps then you can certainly address it.

Its not about the forgetting, or a gift or a card - its marking a special day - even if he said, " I dont believe in gifts, or making a big deal, but I want you to know that I am so glad I made those vows to you 10 years ago." it would be better than what he said this morning.

VikingG

Ok...response from a guy here...
First of all guys can forget things like this..
Second you are right to be pissed off..

and finally what matters now is what he does to make up... He should recognise that you are disappointed and if that matters he should go out and make up for it... If that happens then please forgive generously... make up the best way a 10 year anniversary should be celebarated

shinikins

I'd be very disappointed in him tbh. I am curious though, was the date not mentioned in the last few weeks? I know with my OH one or other of us will always ask "what would you fancy doing for our anniversary?" Last year we decided to go out for a quiet meal in a restaurant we both like.

I'd follow Neyite's advice about waiting to speak to him about it, but perhaps next year you might think about mentioning it in the weeks beforehand to prompt him a little.

solerina

Im female and although I would never forget the date myself I wouldnt be annoyed that my OH did, some people are just not into remembering dates, its not on purpose OP so give him a chance to make it up to you, dinner or whatever !1

The J Stands for Jay

I have terrible trouble remembering dates in general. Last year I remembered an anniversary a month beforehand, but then forgot about it until a couple of days after the date. Wasn't too bad as herself had forgotten too.

fungun

me and my OH both forget our anniversaries; neither gets offended, but prob cos we are both the same.
We are usually reminded when we get a card from one of our mothers lol

So...I guess it depends on how much importance *you* attach to it.

Stheno

I'm female and regularly forget such things, I once remembered an anniversary about three months after it occured.

I'd not be overly bothered about it to be honest OP

i forget dates and birthdays and stuff

...so i write them down and set reminders. and for a 10 year anniversary? you dont even need the exact date to be able to say hey it's been 10 years, and mark it somehow.
maybe you should tell him well 10 years *is* a big deal to you and it's not exactly off the wall

jimmycrackcorm

Anniversaries aren't that important. What's the point in celebrating that you went to a church and had a big meal? It wasn't even they day you made the really important decision which was to spend your lives together - that was decided well before then....

The real question you need to ask is does he appreciate you day to day. Because that's what its about. In my own case, what it is about is that DW will ring me now in 5 minutes that she is hungry and wants me to make a sandwich, which I'll surly supply and I'll get rewarded with a little wry smile of satisfaction.

But, I'll tell you what, I'd like to swap the hassle of making sandwiches in the middle of the night with only having to remember an anniversary every ten years.