Can't get over my ex-girlfriend

LegacyUser

I know these threads pop up all of the time, and I know that the answers are typically the same, so I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve here; I suppose it's a form of catharsis, or something like that.

My girlfriend and I broke up (mutually) 2 years ago. We'd been going out for 3 years at that stage. We'd both just started college and decided that we'd like some freedom; we didn't want to miss out on any college experiences, I guess. We're both in our early 20s now.

From the moment we broke up I've regretted it. A single day hasn't passed where I haven't thought about her, it feels like a moment doesn't pass without her in my mind. She's literally in my dreams most nights, however clichéd that sounds. Absolutely everything reminds me of her--even things that had nothing to do with her--and when I'm reminded of her I feel physically sick, to the very pit of my stomach. I've been like this for two years, so I'm beginning to fear that it'll never pass. The sickness I feel whenever she enters my mind not only affects me physically, it often depresses me too.

I've tried everything to get over her: other girls, avoiding talking to her, getting away on holidays, etc.; but nothing works. Whatever I do I can't get her out of my mind, let alone get over her.

Now, here's the catch: I know (from her telling me when she's drunk to her friends telling me) that she feels like this too. I know that she's in the same situation that I'm in, feeling the same way I am, for just as long as I have. For the past two years we've lived at opposite sides of the country, we've both talked very often (we'd talk for hours and hours on facebook whenever we're both on), and we both still get along extremely well. There are no bad feelings between us. Why didn't we get back together during those two years? I genuinely don't know. I guess that a part of me had always expected it to happen, that I didn't need to push at it.

And now, the second catch: she's leaving the country in a matter of weeks, not to return for at least 4 or 5 years.

I really don't know what to do. Getting back with her, at least in the next half decade, doesn't appear to be an option any more. To make matters worse, I can't get over her, not one little tiny bit. I genuinely don't know what do it, or even if there's anything I can do. It's a horrible, horrible feeling that I'd just like to go away. The thoughts of cutting off all communication with her kills me, but I'm afraid that it might be the only option I have.

Thanks.

LegacyUser

cantgetoverher wrote: »

I know these threads pop up all of the time, and I know that the answers are typically the same, so I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve here; I suppose it's a form of catharsis, or something like that.

My girlfriend and I broke up (mutually) 2 years ago. We'd been going out for 3 years at that stage. We'd both just started college and decided that we'd like some freedom; we didn't want to miss out on any college experiences, I guess. We're both in our early 20s now.

From the moment we broke up I've regretted it. A single day hasn't passed where I haven't thought about her, it feels like a moment doesn't pass without her in my mind. She's literally in my dreams most nights, however clichéd that sounds. Absolutely everything reminds me of her--even things that had nothing to do with her--and when I'm reminded of her I feel physically sick, to the very pit of my stomach. I've been like this for two years, so I'm beginning to fear that it'll never pass. The sickness I feel whenever she enters my mind not only affects me physically, it often depresses me too.

I've tried everything to get over her: other girls, avoiding talking to her, getting away on holidays, etc.; but nothing works. Whatever I do I can't get her out of my mind, let alone get over her.

Now, here's the catch: I know (from her telling me when she's drunk to her friends telling me) that she feels like this too. I know that she's in the same situation that I'm in, feeling the same way I am, for just as long as I have. For the past two years we've lived at opposite sides of the country, we've both talked very often (we'd talk for hours and hours on facebook whenever we're both on), and we both still get along extremely well. There are no bad feelings between us. Why didn't we get back together during those two years? I genuinely don't know. I guess that a part of me had always expected it to happen, that I didn't need to push at it.

And now, the second catch: she's leaving the country in a matter of weeks, not to return for at least 4 or 5 years.

I really don't know what to do. Getting back with her, at least in the next half decade, doesn't appear to be an option any more. To make matters worse, I can't get over her, not one little tiny bit. I genuinely don't know what do it, or even if there's anything I can do. It's a horrible, horrible feeling that I'd just like to go away. The thoughts of cutting off all communication with her kills me, but I'm afraid that it might be the only option I have.

Thanks.

Hello OP
well basicly what your feeling is what everyone feels after a relationship ends after a being together so long and madly in love
im currently with my gf for the past 2 years now
before that i was also with someone for 3 years , we broke up same reason yous did

but i got over her in about 6months , now dont get me wrong i still loved her and would get back with her ina heartbeat but i never felt as sick in the stomoch anymore because i was over her . i didnt mind her seeing other fellas as i got to see other women as well .
but the reason i got over her was i cut contact and so did she, it was an adult agreement between the two of us, cause we know we would of got back together if we were talking

basicly what im saying is , you both are still in contact, still talking im assuming and yous both have your nights out with mates together
so i cant see you getting over her because even though yas finished you are still "together" in a sense as friends straight after the break up
its the reason you cant get over her

i cut contact now im madly in love with my current gf , we live together and lifes going good.

dont take this personal but when she goes away and u dont hear from her as much i can guarrentee you , ya will get over her and life will go on. But on the other hand if you dont want to cut contact and youve been sick to the stomoch the past 2 years after the breakup you might as well tell her that and let her make her own mind up, theirs nothing much more you can do.
GOOD LUCK OP

I am a friend

No you don't tell her - you had 2 years to do that and chose not to so it's not fair to do it now when she has plans made.

silly

I think you should save like mad and follow her... Seriously.. Don't leave it to "what ifs".

butterfly84

whats the point in wasting anymore time feeling like this just because moving on and not contacting her is "the right thing to do".
People make mistakes and if you are willing to give eachother a second chance then why not?Of course this depends on her feelings but you seem to think she still has feelings for you.At least if you know you gave it your best shot you will have no regrets.Why live youre lives apart and miserable if there is a chance at being togther and being happy!