Would you be annoyed IF

Bowlardo · 06-09-2011 4:08pm #1

Friend is back from OZ for two weeks before she goes back for another two years. have seen her once since she was back and she is returning sunday coming. Anyway she just sent the following text message

"Anyone want to go to dinner this evening nothing fancy. Myself and BF at a loose end"

This drove me mental. I want to tell her were to go and that is where AH comes im...and no blasting with piss please

Snakeblood · 06-09-2011 4:09pm

Bowlardo wrote: »

Friend is back from OZ for two weeks before she goes back for another two years. have seen her once since she was back and she is returning sunday coming. Anyway she just sent the following text message

"Anyone want to go to dinner this evening nothing fancy. Myself and BF at a loose end"

This drove me mental. I want to tell her were to go and that is where AH comes im...and no blasting with piss please

3 way?

youtube! · 06-09-2011 4:10pm

over sensitive much?

ted1 · 06-09-2011 4:10pm

Sounds like she knows its a school night and wants to see her friends but doesn' want to put pressure on them to come out

Balfie · 06-09-2011 4:11pm

Loosen Her End.

hondasam · 06-09-2011 4:12pm

Bowlardo wrote: »

Friend is back from OZ for two weeks before she goes back for another two years. have seen her once since she was back and she is returning sunday coming. Anyway she just sent the following text message

"Anyone want to go to dinner this evening nothing fancy. Myself and BF at a loose end"

This drove me mental. I want to tell her were to go and that is where AH comes im...and no blasting with piss please

McDonald's, ye can have kiddie meals.

kincsem · 06-09-2011 4:13pm

Text her back that you can't make it as it clashes with the surprise going-away party you organised for her.

Dravokivich · 06-09-2011 4:14pm

Bowlardo wrote: »

I want to tell her were to go and that is where AH comes im...

Nothing fancy she said... McDonalds?

Dam you Hondasam :mad:

old hippy · 06-09-2011 4:14pm

This is all part & parcel of getting older, moving away and all that it entails. The nature of friendships sometimes involves a lessening of intensity. Doesn't mean you still can't be mates.

--LOS-- · 06-09-2011 4:14pm

pffft why would you get annoyed over that? Saying 'at a loose end' is basically just saying she's free and can meet up then, what's wrong with that. You think she's prioritising spending time with her bf while home over her friends or what?

Mint Sauce · 06-09-2011 4:15pm

She's at a loose end the night before going back to Oz, and is checking to see if any of her friends wants to go out with her and boyfriend.

Wheres the problem?

-Trek- · 06-09-2011 4:15pm

Bowlardo wrote: »

"Anyone want to go to dinner this evening nothing fancy. Myself and BF at a loose end"

Could someone please explain what this means for us poor unfortunates who live a sheltered existence in the sticks.

annascott · 06-09-2011 4:17pm

I think that you have every right to be annoyed. While it is understood that people only back for a couple of weeks are always short on time when it comes to catching up with everyone, this sounds like if they weren't at a 'loose end' and had something better to do that she would not want to see you at all. Talk to other mutual friends who may have received the text too.

--LOS-- · 06-09-2011 4:18pm

-Trek- wrote: »

Could someone please explain what this means for us poor unfortunates who live a sheltered existence in the sticks.

sayings like that come from the schticks!

06-09-2011 4:19pm

Wow, OP, have you only just found out that you're not the centre of the universe? I'm sure your friend has been busy since she came home and perhaps found herself with some unexpected free time. She invited you out without making you feel obliged to go and you're complaining?

hondasam · 06-09-2011 4:19pm

Dravokivich wrote: »

Nothing fancy she said... McDonalds?

Dam you Hondasam :mad:

ha ha good minds and all that

deathrider · 06-09-2011 4:19pm

Bowlardo wrote: »

...and no blasting with piss please

Awwww

old hippy · 06-09-2011 4:20pm

annascott wrote: »

I think that you have every right to be annoyed. While it is understood that people only back for a couple of weeks are always short on time when it comes to catching up with everyone, this sounds like if they weren't at a 'loose end' and had something better to do that she would not want to see you at all. Talk to other mutual friends who may have received the text too.

What and hold a boycott? Get a grip. Lots to do, lots to see.

-Trek- · 06-09-2011 4:22pm

--LOS-- wrote: »

sayings like that come from the schticks!

Ah OK, Ill ask one of the neighbours so, because I missed that one.

snowfinch · 06-09-2011 4:22pm

I can't see the problem...you've met up with her once already, she's around tonight if anyone is free to hang out. Doesn't want to put people under pressure to spend a lot, so if you are free, want to see her then meet up with her! What was she supposed to do - make appointments for every night she was back? Call you as soon as she got back to check every night you were free for the fortnight she was back and then cross-reference that with the rest of her family and friends to make sure nothing clashed and that she was seeing you every night both of you were free?

westies4ever · 06-09-2011 4:24pm

i think shes just trying to sound casual and not put anyone under pressure - dont see the problem myself.

whiskeyman · 06-09-2011 4:25pm

annascott wrote: »

Talk to other mutual friends who may have received the text too.

Yes.
[woman thoughts]
Text and call other friends and nitpick everything your "friend" may have been thinking. Heck, ask around if your other friends want to meet for dinner and discuss.[/woman thoughts]

Or, [man thoughts] you could go if you want, or don't if you don't want to.
[/man thoughts]

--LOS-- · 06-09-2011 4:26pm

-Trek- wrote: »

Ah OK, Ill ask one of the neighbours so, because I missed that one.

fyi it just means you're not otherwise engaged/you're not busy/not doing anything

OP you're reading into it way too much, there's no way you can interpret the invitation as anything but nice imo

hondasam · 06-09-2011 4:27pm

annascott wrote: »

I think that you have every right to be annoyed. While it is understood that people only back for a couple of weeks are always short on time when it comes to catching up with everyone, this sounds like if they weren't at a 'loose end' and had something better to do that she would not want to see you at all. Talk to other mutual friends who may have received the text too.

I hope the other friends are not as sensitive and suspicious as you and the op.

paky · 06-09-2011 4:27pm

i'd say she thinks shes great living in australia

jonnyfingers · 06-09-2011 4:31pm

Tell me more about her loose end.

pow wow · 06-09-2011 4:36pm

Text back that you can't but if you find yourself at a loose end at some point during her trip you might text her. That'll learn her...yeah! :pac:

DEFTLEFTHAND · 06-09-2011 4:36pm

I wouldn't read too much into the loose end remark OP. She's your friend and the likelihood is that your not going to see her for the next two years, so if I were you I'd go tonight and try and have a good time together.

mattjack · 06-09-2011 4:37pm

jump her boyfriends bones..ruin her life in Austrailia......

later12 · 06-09-2011 4:41pm

Assuming that you mean 'friend' and not acquaintance, then you have ever right to be pissed. If this were one of my friends, I would be confused and a little hurt.

The key question here is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. A friend (by my narrow definition) is someone with whom you have a very close personal bond/ have seen naked/ with whom you have gone through a life changing experience, etc.

It isn't a facebook 'friend' or an individual whom you were once close to in school or at college.

I think it's possible that you feel closer to this person than this person feels to you.

chopperbyrne · 06-09-2011 4:42pm

Your friend only has two weeks at home. I'm sure she had family to see and business to take care of. Probably spent a couple of days getting over jet lag too.

Now that she has a free night before going back she wants to spend it with her friends.

Really not seeing the problem here.

Millie · 06-09-2011 4:44pm

paky wrote: »

i'd say she thinks shes great living in australia

-Trek- · 06-09-2011 4:49pm

--LOS-- wrote: »

fyi it just means you're not otherwise engaged/you're not busy/not doing anything

Thanks, I was beginning to think it was slang for sex

Everything is, these days.

Son Of A Vidic · 06-09-2011 4:51pm

-Trek- wrote: »

Could someone please explain what this means for us poor unfortunates who live a sheltered existence in the sticks.

--LOS-- wrote: »

sayings like that come from the schticks!

What's all this talk about sticks? And where are these fabled 'sticks' may I ask?

Anyway OP, hook up with them and give them a good send off. You'll probably be embarrassed about starting this post tomorrow, but sure so what.

hondasam · 06-09-2011 4:55pm

-Trek- wrote: »

Thanks, I was beginning to think it was slang for sex

Everything is, these days.

It can get lonely out in the sticks. you need to get out more

-Trek- · 06-09-2011 5:02pm

hondasam wrote: »

It can get lonely out in the sticks. you need to get out more

Ill try.

Tonyandthewhale · 06-09-2011 5:46pm

OP, why is this woman friends with you if you insist on second-guessing ever innocent sentence she utters? You're inventing drama, this thread is stupid.

Sound Bite · 06-09-2011 6:01pm

Seriously????? That is all.

El Weirdo · 06-09-2011 6:02pm

Did it not occur to you that there is the possibility that she just doesn't really like you?

John Doe1 · 06-09-2011 6:07pm

Women:rolleyes:

06-09-2011 7:13pm

Can't believe ya text her back like that.. Fekin hell, I hope the other couple of people she text tonight hear about it.
I'm assuming you're 12... Or 49. Either puberty or menopause causing such an over reaction.

Kevin Duffy · 06-09-2011 7:22pm

So, I had plans tomorrow, but now they're cancelled for good reason. I was going to text some friends I don't see enough of to do something else instead, but the OP has kindly shown me that I would be causing stress and annoyance to them.
It would seem that the correct way to manage a frienship is only to offer to see my friends by flagging plans well in advance, ensuring they think I have nothing else but them in my life, never demonstrating the slightest bit of spontaneity and refusing all offers which don't fit this template because my so-called friends would be clearly demonstrating contempt for me by straying outside the rules.

Phew, I've dodged a bullet there, thanks OP! Enjoy your night in tomorrow and don't feel in the least bit bad that you will have missed a chance to see your friend for another 2 years!

MajorMax · 06-09-2011 7:35pm

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

So, I had plans tomorrow, but now they're cancelled for good reason. I was going to text some friends I don't see enough of to do something else instead, but the OP has kindly shown me that I would be causing stress and annoyance to them.
It would seem that the correct way to manage a frienship is only to offer to see my friends by flagging plans well in advance, ensuring they think I have nothing else but them in my life, never demonstrating the slightest bit of spontaneity and refusing all offers which don't fit this template because my so-called friends would be clearly demonstrating contempt for me by straying outside the rules.

Phew, I've dodged a bullet there, thanks OP! Enjoy your night in tomorrow and don't feel in the least bit bad that you will have missed a chance to see your friend for another 2 years!

Sarcasm Detector.....BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP..........BOOM....Awwww you broke my sarcasm detector

07-09-2011 5:57am

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Phew, I've dodged a bullet there, thanks OP! Enjoy your night in tomorrow and don't feel in the least bit bad that you will have missed a chance to see your friend for another 2 years!

2 years? I doubt her friend will ever text her again.!

Animord · 07-09-2011 6:41am

Hi OP - I too would consider "at a loose end" to be the same as "nothing better to do".

From the Macmillan dictionary:-

- at a loose end

with nothing in particuar to do
"Why don't you drop by one day if you're at at loose end?"

So yeah, I'd probably be offended too.

Irish Guitarist · 07-09-2011 7:25am

She more than likely spent those two weeks visiting family. She wants to see you now before she goes. Why does it matter what words she used?

annascott · 07-09-2011 7:28am

I think that there has been a misunderstanding here. It is a language thing. Lots of posts insinuating female paranoia etc. If the friend had said that she was 'free' or had 'a night off from relatives' and asked to meet with her friends at short notice, then all would have been fine. Everyone would have turned up to meet them. The fact that she was 'at a loose end' really does suggest that she has tried everyone else and is stuck for company, so contacting this bunch of friends as a last resort.

stupidusername · 07-09-2011 7:33am

I'd agree,if someone told me they were at a loose end i'd think they were stuck with nothing to do,and that's why they were in touch.

But then I am a crazy female

LeeHoffmann · 07-09-2011 8:43am

At a loose end = nothing better to do, IMO.
But so what? If she lives in Australia or wherever and you haven't seen her for two years then you're probably more loose friends than close friends at this point. I don't think she meant to insult or offend you or show you that you're not important to her. I think she could have chosen her words more carefully but she probably didn't think too much into it and I'd say she'd be shocked if she knew that she'd offended you. When yu live abroad and come home for a visit, it's pure mad the number of people who jump out of the woodwork and want to see you. The little 'holiday' you thought you were going to have turns into a family-visiting marathon. I'm sure she's had feck all free time since she got here but she's still making an effort to meet you (and probably doesn't want to put too much pressure on you or come across as desperate to see you). I say go meet her, catch up, have fun and become better friends.

Azureus · 07-09-2011 11:59am

The things some people get annoyed about actually astound me!

Shes asking you last minute if you wanna go for dinner...nothing fancy..cuz shes at a loose end.
The nothin fancy part takes into consideration people may not have money because they werent expecting the invitation/its a recession etc..no presumptions made-quite nice of her.
The 'loose end' part explains why the invitation is so last minute/why plans werent made sooner. End of. She was quite polite imo. No wonder she moved to Oz if her mates here are gonna nitpick every text she sends!

watna · 07-09-2011 12:16pm

I'm confused. Why on earth would that text annoy you? I genuinely don't see why. Is it because she said she was at a lose end rather than really wanted to see you and only you?

I think you need to get over yourself. When you come back home for a quick visit generally a lot of your time is planned because you have so many people to catch up with. She obviously realised that they had some free time and wanted to see if people were free without putting pressure on you to come out.

Seriously, you need to get a grip.

Would you be annoyed IF

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