Am I in the wrong?

LegacyUser

Basically last night I got really really mess drunk,and a friend of mine was looking after me and now she's not speaking to me.
I know it's very annoying to have to look after drunk people etc but I can't stop feeling annoyed at her.This has never happened me on a night out before and tbh it happened because I've suffered from depression in the past and I know I shouldn't drink when I'm feeling low,but because I'm going off to college next week I decided to go out anyway.
Anyway basically I'm wondering if being friends with this girl is worth it or if this is a silly thing to fall out over.I have apologised profusely but she doesn't want to know,has left messages about me all over facebook ,but thank god no one has responded to her. I'm annoyed at how self ritieous she's being ,you'd think I'd done something awful which I know from talking to other friends I haven't beyond getting on people's nerves and crying in the street..:/
I feel like this was an excuse to lord over me and it makes me really upset. I feel like she looks down on me at the best of times and that she resents me for going off to college this year , when she can't.
She's always making snide remarks like telling me I better not drop out of college this time(I dropped out of college last year because I was depressed and really not able to cope but I feel ready to go back now and I know I can succeed.),telling me I wouldn't have done well in my leaving cert if I'd gone to a public school and others.She never listens to me when I have a problem ,even though I've been nothing but supportive of her lately.
I don't know if our friendship is worth salvaging,but maybe this is the last straw?I feel like falling out with her for good would be awful because we've been friends for years.
Am I being stupid?Mods feel free to move this if its in the wrong place.

BattleCorp

Are you in the wrong? To be honest, I don't know.

What I do know is that she isn't much of a friend if she is all over facebook putting you down and constantly making snide remarks - not much of a friend at all.

Fair enough, she minded you when you needed someone to look after you, you have to give her credit for that. But she might feel that you spoiled her night out too as she was too caught up minding you rather than enjoying herself. That is probably why she isn't talking to you.

You've apologised to her, that should be enough for now. Maybe in a few days time she will be back talking to you.

A more important issue to deal with than your friend though is how you deal with your depression. Please go get help for it. Don't leave things as they are. Maybe a chat with your doctor/councellor would help put you on the road to recovery.

Miss Fluff

I was entirely on the side of your friends until you mentioned her causing a fuss and saying stuff on Facebook.

I personally think (having had to look after a couple of nightmarish out of control freaks back in the day) that if you make such an exhibition of yourself with booze and ruin a FRIEND'S night because you make a pig of yourself or because they have to give up their entire night to make sure you don't urinate in taxis or attack a cop then it should be you making the apology. Your friends shouldn't have to mind you. We'll all do it for a friend when needed, of course we would, but it's not really fair either tbh.

BUT if she is then going and making snide comments about you on FB then she's not much of a friend. OK to be annoyed with you and give it you in the ear for being a drunken pain in the Swiss but if she's spreading stuff about you then that's an entirely different matter imho - she doesn't sound like much of a friend.

On a side note, if you suffer from depression then I assume you are on meds. A lot of them don't react so well with a feed of drink so maybe be mindful of that next time you go out....

Firetrap

Both of you are in the wrong tbh. You for ending up in the state you did last night and her for her behaviour. Her appalling behaviour today though, far outweighs what you did last night. From what you've written, she doesn't sound like a friend at all. Why are you hanging around with someone who patronises you, says hurtful things and has no interest in listening to your problems? She's certainly not helping your self-esteem at all.

The sensible thing to do here is not to bother trying to make contact with her at all. So what if you have been friends for years? Her behaviour in 2011 is not that of someone who even likes you. Have a think about that.

Liam Byrne

Stop getting "really really mess drunk" for starters; there's little worse on a night out than watching someone who's fun after ine or two turn into an incoherent mess, and it would put me right off going out with them.

ibarelycare

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Stop getting "really really mess drunk" for starters; there's little worse on a night out than watching someone who's fun after ine or two turn into an incoherent mess, and it would put me right off going out with them.

She said in her third sentence that this has never happened her before :rolleyes:


OP I could understand her being pissed off if you were like this all the time on nights out but if this was the first time then I think your friend is being very unfair. She doesn't sound like much of a friend. You've already apologised profusely, what else are you supposed to do, turn back time? The badmouthing on Facebook sounds incredibly immature, she seems like a right wagon. Let her seethe and stop apologising. When she does decide to start talking to you again, I hope she apologises to you for the Facebook antics.

ElleEm

stupidgirl91 wrote: »

Basically last night I got really really mess drunk,and a friend of mine was looking after me and now she's not speaking to me.
I know it's very annoying to have to look after drunk people etc but I can't stop feeling annoyed at her.This has never happened me on a night out before and tbh it happened because I've suffered from depression in the past and I know I shouldn't drink when I'm feeling low,but because I'm going off to college next week I decided to go out anyway.
Anyway basically I'm wondering if being friends with this girl is worth it or if this is a silly thing to fall out over.I have apologised profusely but she doesn't want to know,has left messages about me all over facebook ,but thank god no one has responded to her. I'm annoyed at how self ritieous she's being ,you'd think I'd done something awful which I know from talking to other friends I haven't beyond getting on people's nerves and crying in the street..:/
I feel like this was an excuse to lord over me and it makes me really upset. I feel like she looks down on me at the best of times and that she resents me for going off to college this year , when she can't.
She's always making snide remarks like telling me I better not drop out of college this time(I dropped out of college last year because I was depressed and really not able to cope but I feel ready to go back now and I know I can succeed.),telling me I wouldn't have done well in my leaving cert if I'd gone to a public school and others.She never listens to me when I have a problem ,even though I've been nothing but supportive of her lately.
I don't know if our friendship is worth salvaging,but maybe this is the last straw?I feel like falling out with her for good would be awful because we've been friends for years.
Am I being stupid?Mods feel free to move this if its in the wrong place.

Fair enough, you got messy drunk. It can happen to the best of us, but just be careful about drinking when you're not feeling the best. It can make you feel worse.

To be honest, this girl doesn't sound like a friend. Read the bit of your post I put in bold as if it were a stranger's post. Do you feel like this sounds like a good friend?

Dark Phoenix

OP I had a friend who used to go out and get so truly wasted that one of us would always be the 'designated minder' it was like being the designated driver only you had the task of getting this idiot home in one piece and hoping she would stay there. It was maddening as it ruined our night and were we the ones to have a bad time she would never be there to take care of you.

So I do feel for your friend having to mind you however if it was the first and only time it happened then it is unfair of her to take such a high and mighty attitude about it. Everyone can have a bad night it happens so if it was a one off don't be beating yourself up about it.

Miss Fluff is right about depression meds and alcohol not mixing well so that might be something to bear in mind if you are going out - the combination might be making youfeel worse.

The comments on facebook are out of order I think as if your friend is angry with you she should really discuss it with you not the rest of the world. As for the college comments - is it possible your friend is frustrated seeing you drop out of college due to being depressed and not being able to help? Although making snide comments is really not the way to go about it!

jackie1974

I think she's being a total ass, getting messy on the rare occasion is par for the course when you suffer with depression and a good friend will be supportive. Dump her, she'll only bring you down, she's delighted to see you fall on your face and is not forgiving you because she is enjoying seeing you grovel and feel bad. Any 'friend' that publicly takes you to pieces on a social network site needs to be dropped like a hot potato. Take care.

KittyeeTrix

Drop her and drop her fast OP.......

I got absolutely bombed one night (really messy ), my best friend bless her took really good care of me!!
Woke up the next morning after staying at her house and she woke me up with a lovely cup of tea:)
She then proceeded to tell me in a decent but firm manner that if I ever got in that state whilst out with her again that she would hop my head off the floor....... I was sooooooo mortified and upset both with myself and the sh1t that I'd put her through the night before that I burst into tears:(

She put her arms around me and told me that she wasn't saying these things to upset me or to make me feel bad but just because she wanted me to never do that again........ I NEVER have:)
That was over 10 years ago and we are still the best of mates we ever were!!!

Now, that's a true decent friend and she has never brought that night up once in those 10 years:)