Have i failed in life?.

LegacyUser

I been thinking this a lot-

im in my late 20s,i am single,i live at home still,don't have a job,have secondary education,i don't have any personal debts,nor am i married with kids or have any loves in my life,i have a feeling from what i read and heard in places if you still live at home your a loser?.

You're still alive, aren't you?

So no, you haven't failed at life. In fact, I think it's somewhat impossible to actually do so.

You just need to be pro-active. It's one thing moping, coming on here and creating a thread, but it's another thing entirely to actually do something about it. You're not happy? Change things.

Are you on the dole? If so, you should look into what FAS courses you can do. Failing that, look into PLCs. If you want to gain any sort of education, then that would be the way to do it.

Hell, it's pretty good that you have no personal debts, so it makes it so much easier for you if you decide to move out of home, which I advise you to do.

Look, like I said, it's impossible to actually fail at life, especially when you are young and (more importantly) still living. So just get pro-active and fix the things that are getting to you. Don't just complain. Complaining will do almost nothing without action.

Icyseanfitz

dont let anyone tell you what you are or are not, if you enjoy your life thats all that really matters, mightnt hurt to try and move out for a little bit just to see what its like mind you

KittyeeTrix

Honestly OP, in light of the current economic climate anybody who suggests that someone still living at home is a loser doesn't know feck all and therefore their opinion counts for nothing!!!

qwerty13

It might not feel like it, but you are probably in a better financial position than lots of people!

I think people are fairly understanding these days that circumstances have dictated that some just can't afford their own place. I mean it's not ideal, and I'm sure you'd love your own space, but sometimes it just isn't possible.

What do you do with your time, are you actively looking for work, doing courses, maybe doing some volunteer work? Ensuring that you spend your time doing things might help you not feel a bit mopey. I know it's probably hard for you at the moment, but it's all too easy to fall into a routine of doing very little - which wouldn't do much for your self esteem. I say in no way are you a 'loser' - sounds like you might need to get out and about an do more though?

Firetrap

I wouldn't say you're a loser but you do sound like you're in a rut. People live at home for all sorts of reasons and indeed, a lot of people have returned there because of their personal circumstances. Having said that, it probably would have done you a world of good to have moved out at some stage in the past because you can never be a fully fledged adult in your parent's house.

It's to your advantage that you aren't tied down or are in debt so you're in a better position than some people. Would you be willing to move away from home if a job became available elsewhere? Is there much prospect of finding work in whatever it is that you did before this or is it time for you to up your skill set? Have you looked into doing a training course?

The only person who can help you is you. Nobody is going to pick up the phone and ring FÁS or find out about PLCs or going into further education. You can continue to sit at home and be unhappy with your lot or do something to change it.

BattleCorp

No, you haven't failed at life.

You have more going for you than you think. You are hardly unique in having no job - same as nearly half a million people on this island. No debts - that's good too (probably less than half a million have no debts). Living at home with the folks - I did that until I was 33 and I don't have a problem with it.

Fair enough, you are a bit down now (only a temporary problem). Maybe you need to talk to a doctor/councellor to fend off a bit of depression but by no means have you failed.

You are not even 30 - do you realise that you haven't even reached the half way point in your life yet.

Get out there and do stuff. Get involved in things around your area. Try your best to climb out of the rut that you are in. Do a few things different from your usual routine. Try something new every week. I know I am maybe simplifying things, but you have to start somewhere.

Your life is in your hands.

LegacyUser

I am in my late twenties and jobless too, but I my life was a bit different.

I went to college, I went to school and I have a honors degrees and I had the dream job.


Despite all this, I know am on the dole and not sure where to go from here. Have I failed at life ?

No. Is my current path in my life working? No to that as well. Op if you like me an unhappy then the only way is to change things or how you think about things.

Am I happy right now? No, but can i change it? Yes.

Another way to put it is like this, your a clean slate and you can fill your life up with what you really want.

Oranage2

Just remember OP that situations can change at the drop of a hat, you just have to be in the right place right time -


Also if you look back on you're life I'm sure you have achievements you can be proud of!

LegacyUser

Ty for your replies,i have done some courses,a lot which where done during the good times when nobody else was doing them,so i was trained how to use a computer etc,this now has barred me from some courses because i already have the qualifications,i cant go to college either because i dont think i would be able to afford books/travel even though i recently learned i could get back to education allowance.

Sometimes i want to be like everyone else,i wish i could travel the world,other-times i don't go out much because im ashamed to be unemployed and to be drinking it whilst drawing,my esteem can get the better of me too.i find it hard to be in relationships because i can get so scared of letting someone down/or making them learning by themselves im not that person they once loved.

BattleCorp

Hi waterfalls.

The main thing is to not give up. Don't be ashamed to be unemployed - there are half a million out there just like you. It's not your fault that the Country is fecked and there are not many jobs out there (at the moment). But it will improve. It will take a while, but everything in this world goes in circles.

You said that you wish you could be like everybody else and travel the world - I have news for you, not many people are fluteing around the world having a ball. Most of us are down in the trenches trying to keep our heads above the water, dealing with mortgages, bills, bills and more bills. I don't go out much, not because I am ashamed, but because I can't really afford it. Life can be a struggle at the moment but there are a lot more people in the same boat as you than you realise.

And don't forget, there are some jobs out there. Don't give up applying. Apply for everything that would suit you. If you don't apply, you don't stand much chance of getting the job, do you? If I finally got a job after sending out 1000 applications, I would soon forget about the 999 unsuccessful applications.

Fas have been getting some very bad press lately but they are the best place to go for advice. Surely they have some courses that you can do. If they have a course that you are interested in, then great. If they don't have exactly what you are looking for, then take the next best course suited to your needs. Any course is better than sitting at home. It takes effort but it will help you get out of the rut you sound like you are in.

Small steps is what you need to take. If you get on a course or get a job, you will be happier, more confident and then other aspects of your life will start to fall into place.

Nothing will come easy though, you have to get up off the couch and push yourself hard to get where you want to go. It's your decision, stay where you are and stagnate or do something every day to improve your circumstances.

sethasaurus

Don't panic. Everything changes in time, and your advantages are - support of your family, no ties, no debts, you can read and write and sound intelligent.
Never be scared of what you can offer people. Everybody has something unique, and maybe you haven't identified it for yourself yet, but it's there, and others will know it.

Good on you for not wasting your time. Here's one thing for sure - drinking in pubs will get you nowhere. Have a look next time and see how many people have been going out and doing the same thing over and over. Many of them slip into a loop of partying-boozing-flailing for company-telling tales of the good old times-highs-lows-partying-repeat. In the end how far did THEY travel? Nowhere. If you sit in a pub and tell tales, pretty soon you've worn them out and meantime, you haven't been out and created any new stories in real life.

We all die in the end, so the money you accumulate, the possessions, the houses, the cars will all be dust one day. None of it will endure.

Spend your life on the things that endure - goodwill, happiness, inspiration, art, meaningful interaction with other people, love. The memory of these things never turn to dust.

The universe has put you in exactly the right place you need to be in right at this moment. If and when you decide you want something different, then you just have to believe you can do it.

I know it can be hard if you are not sure of what to do next - everybody experiences that int heir lives. Don't feel bad about it and don't panic - life always throws something up if you make yourself available.

Just my 2c