College with a girl im mad about still

neiler987

hey back in may i wrote this ridiculously kind of love letter thing about a girl i really crazy about and all that jaaz. I feel that ive probably controlled my feelings a bit better now than in may.

Heres half of what i wrote on this back in may..

"Theres this girl that i really like and admire and shes very attractive as well but i havn't met her yet in person anyways.

we were texting regularly from july last year (kind of not as much recently because shes busy with her LC)

weve also had a good few chats on the phone as well
Thing is shes so goddamn pretty and beauitful that im afraid and i know other lads will want her. Im not horrible looking like im alright i suppose. Go the gym few times but not extremely built or anything.

This sounds pitiful but in a text i kind of asked her in way like when she comes up here for college that we meet up a few times spend a bit time together and take it from there and maybe a relationship.
She said yeah that would be cool as long as me and her took things slowly. But im not sure if she was just saying that to fob me off that she hasnt got any intention of meeting up with me even dont mind thinking about a relationship.
Not in a bad or spiteful way but to save my feelings from being hurt. Shes so caring and thoughtful in that respect.
I think that because there have a few times where we could have met up but she kind of gives me a bad excuse.
EG i told her that i can drive down to her but she said no because theres nothing to do in the area she lives in. I text back saying i dont mind about whether or not theres stuff to do in your area i wouldnt be going to see your area id be going down to see you. Shes also in dublin once every few weeks and has made no attempt to meet up. THIS PUTS THE DOUBTS IN MY MIND ;( !!! "




Now its september and this girl is going into her first year of college but shes going into the same college as me so ill definitely see her in 2 weeks yay which puts a smile on my face . So was just wondering if i should try woo this girl or not... or should just see her as a friend or ?

And what should i do when i see her face to face when i do see and talk to her eventually in college .. should i try ask her to the cinema or out for a drink ? Should i try read her body language any tips on that ??

On the thread in may i did receive some fantastic advice !!

Heres the link from the may thread if u want to know the full story
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=2056260240

Any help and advive will be appreciated thanks

karaokeman

Dude reading along these lines I am uncertain about the circumstances you have put yourself under. I know this sounds harsh but you may have ruined your chances UNLESS you have shown more confidence in the first place.

neiler987 wrote: »

This sounds pitiful but in a text i kind of asked her in way like when she comes up here for college that we meet up a few times spend a bit time together and take it from there and maybe a relationship.
She said yeah that would be cool as long as me and her took things slowly.

In my experience girls prefer confidence and it would have been better to tell her this in person rather than in a text message. I've texted girls to organise things before and it got me nowhere, just hurt my self esteem and the girls in turn realised I wasn't man enough to do it face-to-face.

neiler987 wrote: »

I think that because there have a few times where we could have met up but she kind of gives me a bad excuse.
EG i told her that i can drive down to her but she said no because theres nothing to do in the area she lives in. I text back saying i dont mind about whether or not theres stuff to do in your area i wouldnt be going to see your area id be going down to see you. Shes also in dublin once every few weeks and has made no attempt to meet up.

If the texting turned her off, I suggest you should try and keep it as a friendship before things go out of hand.

Distorted

Hmmn, OP, speaking as a woman, when theres a guy who you know is mad keen on you, and you are not mad keen on him but don't mind him, you are nice to him, kind even, but don't go out of your way to meet him or encourage him...

Some women can be persuaded to like guys they weren't that bothered about in the first place, some are more of the persuasion that they are either attracted or not to a guy within a short time of meeting him and make up their minds about him as a future boyfriend there and then.

From the sound of her not wanting to meet up with you when she's in the same town, I would say it seems as if she doesn't see you as boyfriend material. But thats not to say you shouldn't "woo her" - you might succeed in changing her mind. No-one can see into the future and I guess if she doesn't respond you can just take a step back.

Theres nothing sadder than being totally smitten over someone who isn't interested in you romantically back, and you do sound very heavily smitten. There are other girls out there who will have just as many, if not more, of the qualities that this girl has.

I'm not that sure about your approach as shown by your text wanting to meet up a few times to spend time together and maybe a relationship etc - its too vague and to be honest, I'd find it a bit annoying as its so obviously trying to "reserve" her in advance.

Edited to add - I just re-read your OP and realised you have never met this girl! Honestly, OP, you need to calm down. You are going to be really embarrassed in a few years time looking back over your behaviour. How can you be that smitten regarding someone you have never met? You need to be looking forward to going to college and meeting loads of new people with an open mind, not anxious about some girl you've never actually met in person!

Taltos

Op I also read this as her trying not to hurt you and instead let you down gently. I think the best thing you can do is put all thoughts of her out of your mind, forget about her and just try to meet people.

neiler987

Distorted wrote: »

Edited to add - I just re-read your OP and realised you have never met this girl! Honestly, OP, you need to calm down. You are going to be really embarrassed in a few years time looking back over your behaviour. How can you be that smitten regarding someone you have never met? You need to be looking forward to going to college and meeting loads of new people with an open mind, not anxious about some girl you've never actually met in person!

I dont know it just happened like .. its not my fault i think i dont know.. Well on a positive note anyways were gonna head for a drink next week after college when were in college if u get me ?

So i guess i just need to keep my cool and take it from there ?

neiler987

Taltos wrote: »

Op I also read this as her trying not to hurt you and instead let you down gently. I think the best thing you can do is put all thoughts of her out of your mind, forget about her and just try to meet people.

A bit negative in my view but okay thanks

neiler987

Distorted wrote: »

There are other girls out there who will have just as many, if not more, of the qualities that this girl has.

Extremely extremely unlikey !! Im very very picky as regards to a girl for a relationship.. for example say i named 400 girls i knew off the top of my head yeah ??.. id say i would get with 2 or 3 out of that 400.. this girl would be 1 of the 2 or 3 !!

Good evidence of this would be that im nearly 20 years of age and havnt been in a relationship yet or even close to being in one.. sounds sad