A Massive Male probelm

arsenallegend

I find this a bit strange talking about this so be easy ,Ever since i turned 33 a month ago the whole never been in a serious reltionship issue has been popping its head up in conversations with My mates and family. My Mum and Dad (yes i still live at home:o) have been asking why i never bring girlfriends home to meet them and they wonder if i'm gay and my mates who i known years have been asking why i never been in a serious reltionship and when i'm snogging woman on nights out that i never want to go home with most of them (some of the women i met have been friends of Girlfriend of my mates so its got back to them). I've been blown it off saying i'm not ready and i like playing the field but the real truth is I have hit the big 33 and i found myself A virgin who's actually afraid of wanting sex.

Its become a massive probelm for me, in that it hasn't come up many times during my 20's or early 30's that i've had a chance of having sex that i just chickened out when i've had reltionships it ended pretty much cause of the no sex . I'm just frightened of me been a flop or that it will hurt that it runs through my mind. I just wanted to ask do i have a probelm cause its really becoming a hinderence on my life cause i'm not exactly a Woman's man so having reltionships and stuff like that doesn't come up very often.

SugarHigh

Sounds pretty serious have you talked to your G.P? Having a phobia of sex thats negatively effecting your life is probably something that needs to be worked out with a professional.

Captain Havoc

Don't worry about it, if it's just a one night stand you'll never see her again and if it's a girl she doesn't deserve you if it's a problem.

Snowie

Captain Havoc wrote: »

Don't worry about it, if it's just a one night stand you'll never see her again and if it's a girl she doesn't deserve you if it's a problem.

what ?

are you serious do you know how easy it is to say, don't worry about it?
But f course not your not living the ops circumstances :rolleyes:

D1stant

arsenallegend wrote: »

I find this a bit strange talking about this so be easy ,Ever since i turned 33 a month ago the whole never been in a serious reltionship issue has been popping its head up in conversations with My mates and family. My Mum and Dad (yes i still live at home:o) have been asking why i never bring girlfriends home to meet them and they wonder if i'm gay and my mates who i known years have been asking why i never been in a serious reltionship and when i'm snogging woman on nights out that i never want to go home with most of them (some of the women i met have been friends of Girlfriend of my mates so its got back to them). I've been blown it off saying i'm not ready and i like playing the field but the real truth is I have hit the big 33 and i found myself A virgin who's actually afraid of wanting sex.

Its become a massive probelm for me, in that it hasn't come up many times during my 20's or early 30's that i've had a chance of having sex that i just chickened out when i've had reltionships it ended pretty much cause of the no sex . I'm just frightened of me been a flop or that it will hurt that it runs through my mind. I just wanted to ask do i have a probelm cause its really becoming a hinderence on my life cause i'm not exactly a Woman's man so having reltionships and stuff like that doesn't come up very often.

Hookers were designed for situations like yours.

Klingon Hamlet

IMHO it's a self confidence issue. Are you generally happy in life? Have you actually wanted to sleep with a lady but felt like you're "not good enough"? You need to boost your inner confidence before you take the plunge, figuratively speaking.

Also, living with parents at 33 isn't ideal, but it's quite common with the recession. However moving out into your own place or with a friend might give you the extra bit of independence and self-assuredness that will make the idea of spending a fun night with a consenting adult far less frightening and far more inviting.

Good luck either way OP.

barone

do ya jerk off?


if yes,then you pretty much have the idea of what to expect from sex.

Otis Driftwood

Moved from tGC and unhelpful posts deleted.

Distorted

OP is it possible that you are not the most driven person in the world? Most people have the drive that makes them go out and meet people of the opposite sex, which is what makes them overcome the effort, shyness, etc that virtually everyone encounters along with that. Its possibly connected with the same drive that makes you leave home - sure, it means you have to live with other people, pay rent to someone other than your parents, deal with bills and your own washing, etc. - but its a step along the road to adulthood, along with forming relationships with other people.

And you don't get a girlfriend just to bring home to placate your parents - you meet someone you like and take it from there. Have you never met a single woman that you have been attracted to and what steps did you take to try and progress that further?

Not everyone is the same and its not compulsory to have a sex life. Plenty of people and single and probably a-sexual and quite happy. It depends on whether your'e missing out or not.

RebeccaWatCom

do you actually want sex? its possible you may be asexual......?

R.D. aka MR.D

First of all i wouldn't go to an escort or whatever as a previous poster suggested, if you have no experience of sex it might taint your view and even put you off more.

I think you should consider talking to a professional about it. I know that's difficult if your in a remote part of the country.

But you have no need to be afraid of what the woman will think of you. You have no need to be jumping into bed with people. Start dating some one and when the issue comes up then just say something like, oh its been a long time, don't expect much! She'll understand! It's not like every other man in the world is some porn star and sex isn't like the movies.

Your just building it up in your own head. That's why it might be helpful to talk to a professional.

Nulty

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

First of all i wouldn't go to an escort or whatever as a previous poster suggested, if you have no experience of sex it might taint your view and even put you off more.

I think you should consider talking to a professional about it. I know that's difficult if your in a remote part of the country.

But you have no need to be afraid of what the woman will think of you. You have no need to be jumping into bed with people. Start dating some one and when the issue comes up then just say something like, oh its been a long time, don't expect much! She'll understand! It's not like every other man in the world is some porn star and sex isn't like the movies.

Your just building it up in your own head. That's why it might be helpful to talk to a professional.

Agreed. 15 years of other pepole around you having sex and talking about it, the expectations of society and your own hesitation has caused a backlog of tension in you. I don't believe you are viewing sex in the same way as most adults do anymore. It's just an act to bring people together and give satisfaction (procreation aside!).

Talk to a professional about it. It'll give you piece of mind and the ability to take a fresh view of your disposition.