Screw caps or the other yokes?

Lawlesz

Ok, just home from the pub and have a few questions.

Now before anyone judges me, or accuses me of being a scab,I'm staying in the sister's house (which was formally my house). Also in this house includes her boyfriend; he's a knob. The type of hoor that, not only doesn't buy his own beer at family occasions, but doesn't even buy the sister one. Bearing that in mind, I've bought him several pints at family do's.

First question;

There's beer in the fridge, should I take it?
I already have, but just wondering? (Waits to be judged)

Secondly;

Why are some beers screw offs, and others need a bottle opener. Surely it's more convenient to screw off a bottle than to look for a bottle opener, so why not make all beer a screw top?

Thirdly;

Watching Dara O'Brian in the pub, and the conversation came up;

How do people find Brendan O'Carroll funny?
(Dressing as a woman, and talking in a funny accent doesn't make you funny, if it did we would all do it)

How do people find Two and a Half Men funny?
(Predictable s***e...)

Answers please folks...

policarp

Back to the pub with ya if ya want all them questions answered.

cesc77

Too deep for me.

Drink more and Ill get back to you.

Its a tricky one to make,first thread and all that,so fair play.Youve used the blunderbuss technique with multiple inane questions.

Danielsson that is all for now.........

Micky Dolenz

1 yes, but don't take the piss you NEVER take away a persons last beer but all The ones leading to that are fair game in my book

2 personally I love whipping me ould cork screw from me pants and realising the pressure on the bottle.

3 pure muck

busyliving

Twist top bottle tops are more expensive I'd say

Lawlesz

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

1 yes, but don't take the piss you NEVER take away a persons last beer but all The ones leading to that are fair game in my book

I genuinely abide by that law. But when the guy is such a tool, well then I find it hard.

Lawlesz

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

1 yes, but don't take the piss you NEVER take away a persons last beer but all The ones leading to that are fair game in my book

I genuinely abide by that law. But when the guy is such a tool, well then I find it hard.

Chuck Stone

1. Drink the damn beer.

2. I don't know.

3. Humour is subjective.

boiledeggs

For some reason I always cut the hands off meself with twist offs, hate them

im invisible

1, take the beer

2, beer in screw top bottles dosn't stay as fresh, and goes flat quicker once opened
(not sure about screw-top wine, its meant to be just as good?)

3a, Brendan O'Caroll ISNT funny

b, two and a half men, while not funny, is a whole lot better to watch of an afternoon than King of Queens, or whatever other sh*te happenes to be on

DEFTLEFTHAND

Lawlesz wrote: »

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

1 yes, but don't take the piss you NEVER take away a persons last beer but all The ones leading to that are fair game in my book

I genuinely abide by that law. But when the guy is such a tool, well then I find it hard.

If you have bought this fella plenty of beer on other occasions at the pub and he hasn't yet repayed the favour then I say your fair game on his last beer. BTW I also find Brendan O'Carroll extremely unfunny and have no idea how he gets on TV.

Micky Dolenz

boiledeggs wrote: »

For some reason I always cut the hands off meself with twist offs, hate them

Try smashing the bottle against a hard surface
Then drink, Probably safer.

Micky Dolenz

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Lawlesz wrote: »

If you have bought this fella plenty of beer on other occasions at the pub and he hasn't yet repayed the favour then I say your fair game on his last beer. BTW I also find Brendan O'Carroll extremely unfunny and have no idea how he gets on TV.

It's the code, don't drink last beer or shag a guys bird unless you are ready for the fall out.

Lawlesz

[QUOTE=It's the code, don't drink last beer or shag a guys bird unless you are ready for the fall out.[/QUOTE]

Can't really see myself shagging his bird, but just for him been a snakey greedy f***, I'm willing to drink his beer and suffer the (laughable, puny, I'm-a-hardman) tantrum tomoro...

Temptamperu

I thought they got rid of screw tops becasue of underage knacker drinking.
I would take the beer sounds like he owes you one or two
Brendan o carrol needs a kick in his short arse face
i kinda like two and a half men.

PseudoFamous

boiledeggs wrote: »

For some reason I always cut the hands off meself with twist offs, hate them

I've seen a girl open a bottle with her tit, if you can't do it with your hand, you're a failure.

later12

Brendan O Carroll gave some punter €7,000 after hearing his Liveline rant.

I'm really not sure whether that makes Brendan O'Carroll an imbecile or a hero, so I'm just going to leave this open-ended like an...

im invisible

brendan o'carroll has an IQ of 130something (he's a member of MENSA),
he has said that comedy is one of the hardest areas to make a living, and he has been making a fairly decent living for himself in it all his life....



he's still not funny tho'

yesno1234

im invisible wrote: »

brendan o'carroll has an IQ of 130something (he's a member of MENSA),
he has said that comedy is one of the hardest areas to make a living, and he has been making a fairly decent living for himself in it all his life....



he's still not funny tho'

He actually has an iq of 156 according to wikipidia.

Apanachi

Lawlesz wrote: »

than to look for a bottle opener,

Why go looking for a bottle opener, learn to use a lighter, a random piece of cutlery etc... in fact anything hard - not body parts, teeth do work, but I wouldn't advise it) to open your bottle and you'll never be stuck again

sbsquarepants

Temptamperu wrote: »

I thought they got rid of screw tops becasue of underage knacker drinking.
I would take the beer sounds like he owes you one or two
Brendan o carrol needs a kick in his short arse face
i kinda like two and a half men.

If you're young enough to be stopped in your tracks because the lid won't twist off, then you are indeed to young to drink.:eek:
And yes, Brendan O'Carroll needs a good kicking. How's your snowballs now you irritating **** bag!
2 and a half men is perfect mindless, next day, sofa hogging tv. Not so funny as you have to actually bother laughing, but enough to keep you awake. Plus the women are mostly 10's

Apanachi wrote: »

Why go looking for a bottle opener, learn to use a lighter, a random piece of cutlery etc... in fact anything hard - not body parts, teeth do work, but I wouldn't advise it) to open your bottle and you'll never be stuck again

I can do the lighter thing like a pro, but being a non smoker i feel it detracts from my manliness when i have to ask a grown up for a lend of their lighter:mad::mad:

mconigol

im invisible wrote: »

brendan o'carroll has an IQ of 130something (he's a member of MENSA),
he has said that comedy is one of the hardest areas to make a living, and he has been making a fairly decent living for himself in it all his life....



he's still not funny tho'

Wow...MENSA!

Now I've completely changed my opinion.












....oh wait no I haven't

x_Ellie_x

1. yeah why not, sounds like he owes you a couple.

2. If you don't have a bottle opener use the door to break the cap off.

3. I don't find either of those funny.

Jess16

PseudoFamous wrote: »

I've seen a girl open a bottle with her tit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGIo-tqQkoQ

Saila

screw caps are for women! that is all..

hondasam

1. Drink the beer but replace it ASAP.

2. Never gave it much thought.

3. O Carroll is pure ****e, Two and a half men is funny.