The HSE is a joke.

LegacyUser

Quick back story.
Boy meets girl. They have a child together. Turns out girl is nuts.
Boy doesn't see this, in spite of girl constantly beating him up in private and in public.
They have a second child towards the end of the relationship.

Girl is a drug fiend. Any sort of upper (with the occasional heroin binge). Boy likes a few beers, but never drank when he was looking after the child/ren.
Lots of breaking up and getting back together.

Boy finally sees the light when girl moves into high security apartment complex and uses the internet to get in touch with her drug buddies.

He takes back the pc he gave her. She loses the head. Smashes the keyboard over his head several times, and also throws his DVD player at him. This all happens in front of the 4 year old daughter.
The newborn was in the cot with a bottle tied to the side, so that the girl did not have to hold her while feeding her.

She bet the crap out of him that night, and he walked away.

Here's where the HSE start to make a **** of things.

Boy begins legal process to gain access to children.
He goes to the family court and files an appeal.
He gets letters from a standing (FG) TD, a standing town Councillor, his and the girl's doctors and loads of other important people as to his good character.

He went to the family court 2 times and nothing happened. He then spoke to the local FG TD. The following morning he got a call from the girl's social worker.
The social worker filled him with the usual bull****.
He went back to the family court and had another summons sent.

Right, I'm trying to keep this as succinct as possible.

First daughter has an injury to her hand. Apparently she cut her hand on a biscuit tin. I've no idea how that's possible, but let's go with that anyway.

Girl has had several visits from social workers, nurses and so forth.
Daughter 1 ended up with an infection so severe from the cut that she was brought to hospital and had to have the tips of her fingers cut off.

Daughter 2 was not brought for the first 3 essential vaccines.

How the **** does girl still have custody of the children?
She quite obviously doesn't care about them, and is quite violent.

donkey oatey

OP that sounds like a horrendous mother but your children are very lucky to have you fighting for them.

Have you had any legal advice? I know that citizens information in my area have lawyers come in once a week to offer advice. In most legal proceedings people are encouraged to write down any times and dates of negative behaviour. Have you done this? Do you have text messages, emails, voice mails, hospital records of when she smashed the keyboard on you? Did you make any statements to the gards?

It sounds like the social workers aren't having much luck so I'm thinking that maybe you can prosecute her for violence against you or drug possession and then you'd gain custody by default? But I'm not familiar with law so can't be sure. Is there a law forum on here that might be able to offer advice?

Good luck.

Ken.

As a father i know what i'd do in your situation but i can't say it here(don't wanna give the new mod too much work). All i will say to you is don't give up. No matter how much the legal and medical systems seem to let you down keep going.

mikemac

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/
They are in most every town in Ireland and will get great advice. This is a bit more then the usual dole or fuel allowance question so they'll talk to you in confidence in a room and best you deal with the same person each time.
They also have contacts and can make calls on your behalf

www.flac.ie, I don't think they'd take on a case like this but they'll consult with you and point you in the right direction

Help is out there for this lad

On the keyboard, would have been a wise move to go to the doctors to get checked and then make a statement to the gardaí. There will be a record
If it's not done then it's late now.

Buy a journal and pen and take notes of every call, contact, incident, record everything.
On modern phones you can type these and save draft text messages too

Lastly I'd say the lad should not call around to this nutcase on his own again.
Suppose she falls and scratches her arm, she'll turn around and say she was beaten.
Take a witness. Or even get a dictaphone, leave it in the pocket and record, protecting yourself is key. Again modern phones have a record feature too

Bluetonic

Sad that if this was the other way around one of two things would have happened:

1) There would be a lot more advice here
2) The children would no longer be with the father

girlonfire

Hi OP
This is a horrific story and I'm so sorry your kids and yourself have to go through this. Whatever you do, do not give up no matter how much the b******s grind you down. The HSE have failed so many children in this country already. It's disgusting. Your kids are lucky to have you fighting for them.
Continue to fight your battle. Seek out legal advice. Surely there's a case for neglect (as well as the other issues which are truly awful too)?
Good luck OP

Ickle Magoo

Bluetonic wrote: »

Sad that if this was the other way around one of two things would have happened:

1) There would be a lot more advice here
2) The children would no longer be with the father

This is not the appropriate forum for politicizing - if you have no constructive advice to offer the OP then kindly refrain from posting.

Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

If you haven't already done so, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.

Whynotme

Hard as it may be, take a deep breath and look at things logically. The HSE is doing things by the book. And that means slowly according to Irish Law. There is so much criteria they have to meet prior to getting a care order that they have to jump through massive hoops.

Have been through this with 2 people close to me over the past 5 years and the right outcome came, eventually. It is by going through this that I can say to you, keep in touch with SS. Keep the cool, however hard that may be. Co-operate in EVERY respect. And do as suggested, keep your own record of all incidents and communications.

Have you engaged your own solicitor? It might be advisable to do that and to fight for custody. It is a long hard road, but be aware now that SS are involved the children are being watched carefully.

Stay strong, the children need you healthy and well to be there for them.

LegacyUser

Get as much evidence as you can, the more the better.

Take photos of the bottle tied to the bed, anything with evidence. video her attacking you if she still does that. Like another poster said keep a diary also. it will hopefully make a good solid case against the mother.

Unfortunately these things take a long time to process and the damage is already done by the time they let you step in.

Taltos

Please keep comments constructive and legal.

Taltos