Is experience necessary or overrated?

Lorrs33

Ever since I saw Bridesmaids (twice ), I've been pondering over this. Is it better for a woman/man to have been in a few relationships, or even just a few flings, before they settle down? I've only ever been with my boyfriend, I never took advantage of my "slutty college years" and I find some people do find it odd that I'm not planning on dumping the love of my life just to see what else might be out there. I'd love other opinions on this because it's been annoying the hell out of me.

As long as you're genuinely happy i don't think it matters, no.

discus

Lorrs33 wrote: »

....and I find some people do find it odd that I'm not planning on dumping the love of my life just to see what else might be out there. I'd love other opinions on this because it's been annoying the hell out of me.

For a lot of people, the grass on the other side is too green.

I've always been of the opinion that those with more 'experience' of relationships tend to move through many unsuccesful relationships, all the while claiming that their experience is saving them from lasting too long in a relationship that would never have worked long time.

Don't question your relationship. If you're happy, you're happy. There's hundreds of routes through life.

Logical Fallacy

bluewolf wrote: »

As long as you're genuinely happy i don't think it matters, no.

This.

Some people meet someone and fall in love and marry them and stay together very happily. I have two friends who have been married for about 21 years. They got married when they were both 19 and are still a happy and devoted couple.

For other people, they actually need to move through some relationships for any number of reasons, from finding the right person to developing the emotional maturity required to actually make a relationship work.

It's a case of horses for courses.

lazygal

I've only had one serious relationship, with the man who now is my husband. I thought I knew what love was, but until I met him I hadn't a clue!

It's been the easiest relationship either of us has ever had, and it has continued to be so. I went out with guys before I met himself but nothing compares to knowing you've met the one for you.

Little Acorn

Been with my boyfriend just over seven years, since I just turned 17. Only person I've ever slept with, only long term relationship I've ever had.
I am very happy, and therefore don't feel like I'm missing out on anything that I would want. I already have everything I want with him.
Bluewolf said it perfectly, as long as you are happy I don't think it matters.

Acoshla

My best friend has been with her boyfriend for 8 years, she's just gone 26, they are perfect for each other and have really got their heads screwed on, have both travelled separately for up to a year at a time, but are completely devoted to each other and feel no need to ever be apart.

I, on the other hand, thought I found THE ONE in my first boyfriend, 5 years later realised he was awful for me. Then I totally (and completely misguidedly) believed my next boyfriend was THE ONE, only to realise 4 years later that I had always disliked him and merely tolerated him. Am in long term relationship number 3 now and he is lovely, the best, have known it since the first night I met him. Without the disasters of 1 and 2 I wouldn't have known what kind of man I am best suited with and wouldn't appreciate how fab he is.

So yep, it all depends on the person!

Edit: I'm like the Goldilocks of relationships, ha.

getzls

Acoshla wrote: »

I, on the other hand, thought I found THE ONE in my first boyfriend, 5 years later realised he was awful for me. Then I totally (and completely misguidedly) believed my next boyfriend was THE ONE, only to realise 4 years later that I had always disliked him and merely tolerated him. Am in long term relationship number 3 .

Sounds like a pattern here! So after 3 yrs he's a so and so too.

Acoshla

getzls wrote: »

Sounds like a pattern here! So after 3 yrs he's a so and so too.

Well been with this one more than three years so maybe not.

Randy Shafter

I think its overrated. As others have said of you're in a relationship and are happy with the other person then experience shouldn't matter. Sure, there'll still be arguments/disagreements from time to time but getting over them is part of being in a relationship!

Azureus

I like the fact that my experience number is very low. I dont wanna be someone who has to sleep around to find what works for me/doesnt work for me. I have one ex who I was mad about and where things didnt work out. Anyone else I didnt get close enough to because I knew it wouldnt work. I dont have to have a full blown relationship/sleep with someone to know theyre not for me.
With the ex, i learned things like how to keep my independence in a relationship etc..that have been useful to me in my current relationship. If the current one breaks down (fingers crossed it wont) I will learn stuff from that too-but I dont ever feel the need to have a few random sexual encounters/fling relationships to validate what I have.