Am a flipping disaster dating

LegacyUser

Female. Met a lovely chap online. Met him. For the few hours I was with him, I was beyond nervous and bossy, and cranky! yes, cranky. He was a perfect gent! I dont know what came over me. Am normally a laid back person. I have become what I would normally advise agaisnt on here. Needless to say, scared the poor chap off. Disaster. Then asked him what he thought of the whole thing, and I wish Id never asked now. What the hell was I thinking? Feel down that I came across as an overbearing, needy nutjob. Its like I left my brain at home. I wasnt myself. Tried to explain, but think I came across as even worse.

I want to laugh it off and get on with things, but its turning over and over in my head what a spa I was to this nice man. I need to get this off my chest. And maybe this is a warning of things not to do when you first meet someone.

Miss Fluff

Sounds like you're not at all ready to date anyone. If you're that uptight and crazy for one date then it might be best to knock it on the head until you get your head together. I'd be horrified if someone was so rude to me.

vitani

Sounds like a self-preservation thing, and that some part of you wanted to sabotage the date because you're either not ready or you're scared of getting hurt down the road. Maybe give the online dating a rest for a while - you might be better off letting something develop gradually with someone you meet in a different setting.

Little Miss Lady

Give yourself a break. Learn from it and concentrate on being happy in yourself so you won't be a crank in future.
Try and find out why you behaved like that and put it behind you.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice.
To make it worse, I emailed him this morning apologising.
Needless to say, I havent heard anything. Yeah, I will not doubt learn from this.
What possessed me-I dont know.
Maybe he just wasnt that into me in the first place. And certainly wasnt after my shameful display. He was lovely. I was very nervous. No excuse.

Little Miss Lady

Sunflower27 is dead right.

You met the guy once, acted badly but apologised.
Get a good night sleep tonight, forget about it, move on, tomorrow is a new day

LegacyUser

Ive never been as nervous as that!
I know it was one date, but we'd been chatting extensively for about a month. Between one thing and another, we couldnt meet up till the weekend gone. So, I got kind of attached to him.
But texting someone isnt real, and Ive got to get my head around that. I actually feel like Ive been dumped or something!!! Id be the first on here to say you are nuts to feel like that after one date. Nothing from him. Am devastated cause I actually liked him.

Odaise Gaelach

Don't feel so down about it. We all have crap dates.

I guarantee you this: your next date with someone will be better.

LegacyUser

Don't beat yourself up over it and in reality I don't think you get to see the real person with emails etc as it's always the best side out, he probably isn't as great as you think he is. I uesd to be a runaway bride and would get into relationships and nit pick and end it and then 'realise I like him' (usually when it was too late!!) and like a poster already mentioned I think it is a preservation thing.

I bet you have gone over every minute of the date and analysed it in your head. From looking at your posts,you sound like a decent person. I don't even believe you could have been that rude to him and if you were what an eejit for sticking around listening to you!!!! It is possible he's just not that into you and you picked up on the vibe and have tried to blame yourself for things you said or did. Maybe he gave out a vibe that made you feel uptight?My favorite first dates have been the ones where you just feel relaxed straight away by the guy and laugh the whole time.

Either ways try and not think about him and move on. It is such a cliche but I really do think what's for us won't pass us by! Try and relax a bit and enjoy yourself and I know people swear by meeting guys online and I gave it a shot but it just wasn't for me. My plan going forward is to stop caring about finding someone and enrich my life with stuff I want to do and if I happen to meet someone with a shared interest along the way happy days!

Amazotheamazing

If you aren't cranky ordinarily, what made you cranky for the date? Anything else going on that got on your mind?

Anyhow, I'd try not to worry about it, we all have off days and you're probably imagining that you were far worse than you actually were.

LegacyUser

Hi op, I completely empathize with your 'date', I had pretty much the same experience recently.While I wasn't rude, I cannot explain my irrational behaviour. It is such a shame not to just enjoy the experience instead of getting so worked up, although I didn't hear from my date afterwards (understandably), I spent more time analysing were I went wrong and didn't focus on whether or not I actually liked him. Why was I worrying what a complete stranger thought of me? Silly really. Good luck in the future op

LegacyUser

Why was I cranky - ive no explanation. Id been out doing something physical all day, and I was tired. If that lead me to being cranky, I am not sure. Normally when Im tired I cant think straight/concentrate. Also couldnt hear him because of the loud bloody music.

He wasnt as outgoing as I thought, but still a very nice guy. I went more into myself and thought "what in the name of god". He was shy, I was cranky. That makes 0 on the dating scale. Am putting all the blame on myself, and its a hard load to carry. Im normally a happy outgoing person!

It was just hard to hear that I was the one getting blamed (said I was too serious and made him tense-thats the impression I left). No second chances here.

Am starting to think that maybe it wasnt all me though. He said he was recently out of a long term relationship, and said that he wasnt looking for anything serious, which is/was fine by me, Im not either, but I cant get my head around how you can get to "know" someone and then all of a sudden zero contact. I have no choice but to move on. But its bugging the life out of me.

LegacyUser

I think the important lesson to be learned from both our experiences is that everyone deserves a second chance! Going to have to remind myself of that one in the future when Im too quick to judge, now that I've been on the receiving end.

midlandsmissus

I am having a good laugh at this thread . I mean that in a good way because I was also out at the battlefront (on a date) last night and I was a nervous wreck! It's nerves pet, don't beat yourself up about it. We live in a culture where it's really-meet in a pub with 2 groups of friends, sure I might see ya in the pub next week,lots of drink- very casual, takes ages for anyone to make a serious move. The guy I met last night, I had met him last Saturday and he actually asked me to meet up with him for a date last night. First time that has happened to me in a-long-time! I really liked him so I was
Nervous before going out but I was ok. But when I met him I was literally shaking with nerves, couldnt believe how nervous I was! Think i came across as nervous and angry and talking a load a ****e! But then he told me he was nervous too and spent ages deciding what to wear so felt better! But believe me it wasn't easy! I think first dates can just be a really high pressure type situation, and u never see d real person. So really try and have a laugh about it today, Im laughing at myself last night now, how nervous I was, dont apologise to him im sure he wasnt perfect either, he doesn't sound good enough for you . Oh and the happy ending to my wracked with nerves story is I am seeing ur man again!