Looking for advice

den87

Hi, new to all this, just looking for a bit of advice really.

Was going out with a girl for 4.5 years, living together about 6 months and about 4 months ago she said she wanted a break to "be on her own", so we took a break for a week but we were back together as she said she made a mistake, that she'd cheated on me and wanted to give us another go, I was very happy when we got back together but then found out she'd been texting another fella "as friends", stupidly i believed her.

Then about 3 weeks ago, she said she wanted to be on her own again so we broke up but promised to remain friends. Afterwards i found out that she had planned to meet up with 3 fellas and i spotted her yesterday in the car with another fella, it killed me, i didnt think she'd move on so fast. I thought i was over it but yesterday just crushed me. We work together so it makes things way worse, i've been chatting to her since we broke up and we've met up a few times, but its not the same, i dont want to be just friends.

What do i do?? Flat out ignore her and move on or try and be friends??

Acoshla

Flat out ignore her and move on, if you try to be friends she'll wreck your head.

Miss Fluff

You're totally wasting your time and energies trying to be friends with this girl. She has picked you up and then dropped you like a hot snot as soon as her head is turned. There is no future for you together and you're only fooling yourself by trying to become friends all of a sudden. Tell her not to contact you again, delete her from Facebook, ignore any attempts at correspondence and allow yourself to get on with things, it's the only way.

den87

Right, just a bit of an update as to my story so it might help people learn from my mistakes . Still not over the break up and its my own fault, kept being friends with the ex and its killed me. I told her a few weeks ago that i was cutting her out of my life and moving on and this was only way to do it.

This worked for a few days until i had to text her about something for work and we got chatting again, then the other night we had a long conversation and i was asking her about films and stuff, and i unfortunately found out she'd been on a few dates at cinema and dinners etc. I wasn't hurt by this, but i just kept thinking "why cant she do these things with me" and before i knew it i was an emotional wreck like at start of break up.

I've decided now that im definitely definitely 100% cutting all ties, minimal contact with her. I still love her to bits and always will but have to cut her out for my own sake.]

So if anyone out there is going through a break up and wants to remain friends with their ex, IT DOESN'T WORK. It only prolongs the pain, you will hurt yourself the most by doing this.

Thanks for reading, feedback appreciated.

nicechick!

den87 wrote: »

Right, just a bit of an update as to my story so it might help people learn from my mistakes . Still not over the break up and its my own fault, kept being friends with the ex and its killed me. I told her a few weeks ago that i was cutting her out of my life and moving on and this was only way to do it.

This worked for a few days until i had to text her about something for work and we got chatting again, then the other night we had a long conversation and i was asking her about films and stuff, and i unfortunately found out she'd been on a few dates at cinema and dinners etc. I wasn't hurt by this, but i just kept thinking "why cant she do these things with me" and before i knew it i was an emotional wreck like at start of break up.

I've decided now that im definitely definitely 100% cutting all ties, minimal contact with her. I still love her to bits and always will but have to cut her out for my own sake.]

So if anyone out there is going through a break up and wants to remain friends with their ex, IT DOESN'T WORK. It only prolongs the pain, you will hurt yourself the most by doing this.

Thanks for reading, feedback appreciated.

Agreed it really only does create problems especially when you still care for someone! I went out with someone for years and we completely cut contact for about two years we needed that break! Its only recently would be text or call occasionally but only as we're both over the relationship, he's since moved on and you know I thought I'd be bothered I couldn't give a sh!te it'd been so long so my POINT it will get easier in time time does heal

den87

nicechick! wrote: »

Agreed it really only does create problems especially when you still care for someone! I went out with someone for years and we completely cut contact for about two years we needed that break! Its only recently would be text or call occasionally but only as we're both over the relationship, he's since moved on and you know I thought I'd be bothered I couldn't give a sh!te it'd been so long so my POINT it will get easier in time time does heal

Thanks for the advice. Its a bit hard cos we work together but i know deep down i have to do this. I learned the hard way by trying to be friends but at least now i know.