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Sexually Incompatible :(

  • 27-08-2011 11:09pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hiya,

    I'm not sure how common this is. Myself and my boyfriend have a fantastic relationship - we are very happy in all areas but 1, the bedroom

    Excuse me for being graphic but I have an exceptionally tight vagina, and he has an exceptionally large penis - it also takes him a long time to come and he has to be going at a really hard pace - you get me

    We use lube, thats fine, i really enjoy it when it starts but 1/4 way through i start to hurt so bad...normally i pretend its fine because I don't want to ruin it for him but then we cant have sex for 2 days because im too sore. Both of us are sexual people and although i know this will never be enough to break us - its a very frustrating problem. Anyone know a cure?


Comments

  • #2
    dudara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    You really need to talk to a GP about this one. They may be able to offer some assistance. Sex is just not meant to hurt.


  • #3
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Could it be that he is simply going for too long?

    I'm extremely tight for want of a better word and my boyfriend is quite big and also takes an extremely long time to 'finish.' After 20 minutes or so, I get very sore too, and I figured out it's simply because I'm not used to having sex for more than half an hour at a time. Might be that? But as Dudara said, you should talk to your GP just to get everything checked out because there could be something else going on down there.


  • #4
    Sleepy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,367 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    First things first: stop faking enjoyment during sex. How is it supposed to get better if only one of you knows there's a problem?!

    You don't mention how much time you're dedicating to foreplay. If you're going straight to intercourse or only spending a minimum of time on foreplay there could be two issues here:

    1) you're not physically aroused enough to accommodate him comfortably.
    2) his sole source of stimulation is from intercourse so he's inside you longer than you're comfortable with.


  • #5
    28064212
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,906 ✭✭✭✭28064212


    Sleepy wrote: »
    First things first: stop faking enjoyment during sex. How is it supposed to get better if only one of you knows there's a problem?
    ^ This. This a million times. Say this to yourself over and over and over. Then say it again. Then write it down on a piece of wood and bash yourself over the head until it's the only thing you can think about.

    Sex is not something that you bestow upon your boyfriend, and his task is to decide everything after that. Sex is a mutual experience between two (or more!) people. Both people are responsible for their own pleasure. Both people are responsible for the other's pleasure.

    You don't have to "ruin" it for him, it's not something you have to bring up mid-stroke. But you do have to be able to communicate about an issue in your sex-life.

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  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Vaginas stretch. They accommodate babies. If yours is not stretching as it should that is a medical problem and no one here can help you. See a GP.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    This sounds very like it could be medical.

    I had an issue like that years ago (although my boyf at the time wasn't as big as you're describing, but I've been with a few massive since and had no issues).

    Basically, I had all the symptoms you describe, exceptionally tight, painful sex, bleeding afterwards, very sore.

    It turned out that there was a problem with my hymen. It was made from very thick skin and broke every time I had sex, and would then grow itself back. Obviously it was great for him as I was very tight, and in some ways it was good for me and I rarely had problems orgasming, but once I'd orgasmed, the pain would be awful.

    I went to my GP and she could see what the problem was so I had a simple operation to basically remove the hymen/ excess skin! It worked a treat and I've never looked back. The whole thing turned my boyf at the time off though and we broke up soon after, but I've never had a problem with other guys. I would still be sensitive and still get a bit sore after a while, but sex is still always amazing. If I haven't had sex in a while though, I do sometimes bleed a bit, but if I'm having it regularly there are no issues at all.

    For now, if your problem is like mine, the best solution is to have sex as often as possible as that loosens you up. Even though it may be painful, it does help! But definitely, go see your GP. You are entitled to love every minute of sex ;-)


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