Saving for engagement ring in secret

LegacyUser

I'm planning on proposing to my long term girlfriend either this Christmas or early next year but I don't know how to go about saving for the ring without her suspecting.

We have a joint bank account as all of our utilities etc come from that and we're very open about our finances. I don't know how to save the maybe 3k without her noticing as it will involve a lot of cutting back.

How did others do this?

Stench Blossoms

Do your wages get paid into this or do you have a seperate bank account for that?

seamus

Most people don't have joint accounts with long-term girlfriends, that's how they manage it

There are ways and means though. First thing that comes off the top of my head is to simply withdraw it as cash. Let's say you typically take out €100 at the start of the week. Continuing to make this withdrawal isn't going to raise any eyebrows. So take €20 out of this and put it away.

If you tend to take out money as you need it, when you need it, then transactions are going to appear haphazard in the statement - €40 there, €30 here and so on. But even so, a €30 withdrawal every week runs the risk of being noticed. That is, if she asks, "why did you take out €40 on Thursday and €30 on Friday?", then you may be stuck for words.
So instead, throw an extra tenner in every time you make a withdrawal. Much harder to "catch" you, because if she asks what the withdrawal was for, then you have a legitimate excuse.

You'd be surprised how quickly cutbacks can be made without anyone noticing. A €2 cup of coffee on the way to work in the morning will cost you €500/year. I'm sure if you look at all the day-to-day stuff, you can find something that costs 2 or 3 euro which you could do without, saving yourself a fairly large chunk of cash over a year.

Where to store your money is another question. You don't want to keep it in a shoebox, it runs the risk of being stolen or found.
An on-demand savings account is probably the best option, as these usually have little or no fees and work as a "resting place" for your money.

Even if you get an account that has online banking, there will always be some scenarios where you receive mail correspondence. So you need to consider this. Something that looks like a bank statement and has your name on it, may be opened or may invite questions. So if you can, you could set it up using a different address - your parents place maybe. Or even better, you could have a parent set up the account in their name and you lodge the money in it.

Or you could go more ballsy and just say that you think you should have a savings account, hope she doesn't suspect a thing and work away

LegacyUser

Thanks, sounds like a plan.

Yes, the wages are paid into it. It seemed like a commitmenty step and was a good idea at the time, lol.

StillWaters

Although that was a practical post Seamus, it was also very romantic. I imagine most rings when money is joint is bought from joint account or on credit card, the idea of cutting back on treats such as coffees to squirrel away the money is lovely.

I do advise OP don't buy a ring in advance of the proposal, let her choose it, have a dummy cubic zircona or jelly ring. Any girl (or woman) would love 3K going jewellry shopping. She may want a ring for 1K and put 2k towards the day / a new sofa / honeymoon. Course she may spend every penny of the 3K and wear it with pride and love for 40 years.

strandroad

OP are you sure that your GF wants a 3K ring? Just asking - I'rm female, engaged and I don't care about expensive jewellery at all, actually I'd be afraid to own a 3K ring as I'd be sure to lose it at the first opportunity. I have a small Victorian ring and we went on an engagement trip instead. Perhaps yout GF would prefer to mark the occasion in a less traditional way, which may require not as much saving or no saving at all. Just a thought!

jimmycrackcorm

Tell her you want to save money from your wages for a big holiday for you both next year and that the money will be there in case it is needed for an emergency. Just set-up a standing order every month.

Plus she might actually then only want a cheaper ring and a holiday...

blodvyn

Withdraw what you normally do, but try and save x / y amount of it.

I'm also going to pop the question at xmas / new year.

I'm just wondering on what people think would be an okay price for a ring, 3x the monthly paycheck ?

Checked bluenile.co.uk seems like a good website, any feedback appreciated.

blackbird98

howtosave wrote: »

I'm planning on proposing to my long term girlfriend either this Christmas or early next year ........I don't know how to save the maybe 3k without her noticing as it will involve a lot of cutting back.

How did others do this?

Why not propose without the ring?? Then you can go out together to buy the ring that she would like, at a price that you can afford!!! Since all your money goes into a joint account, then it obviously has to come out of that account.

And as another poster said, your gf may not want a 3k ring.

Problem sorted

btw, that's what we did many moons ago!!!

moco

You could pretend you're saving for something for yourself..like a motorbike or something?

Butterflylove

I just picked out my ring with H2B it was only just under 1k

he would have picked one that was 4/5k if I hadnt of been there

I needed to see what suited my finger (their sooo small) and had to get the size altered

i would suggest poping the question with a plastic ring/ promise chain (which my H2B did) with the offer of going shopping with her,
congrats by the way

LegacyUser

This thread made me smile
I think what youre doing is lovely.
As a girl, I would think that saving up the money yourself over time rather then just leaving it in the joint account would be so much more romantic and she'd really appreciate it.
Save up as much as you can, and then after you propose take her shopping for a ring of her choice.
If the ring she picks costs less then you have, then offer to save the rest for the day or take her on a holiday- her choice
I cant see how any girl wouldnt be delighted with that!!!
Good luck!

moco

moco wrote: »

You could pretend you're saving for something for yourself..like a motorbike or something?

That's a good idea if you can come up with a plausible goodie you want to save for (bike? gaming laptop?). Sometimes, the best way to give someone a surprise is to hide it in plain sight. But I would also go along with the advice of others on the thread, and say that you shouldn't get the ring in advance of the proposal.

Sunshine and lollipops

So romantic  love it!!! Good luck !