Head wrecked stupid family

LegacyUser

Howiya....

Just postin to say my head is wrecked living in this poxy house. My mam works full time, im unemployed, my dad is retired my older brother whos 24 works. Then theres my oldest brother whos thirty four and is unemployed, living at home being an absolute scrounger.

He moved home three years ago after his relationship with his grilfriend broke up due to him being an alcoholic horrible excuse of a human being.

I dont pay any rent at home as im savin for college and my mam knows this so I do all the ironing,clean the house showers bathrooms etc......I woke up this morning before I even had my lunch I had done all the ironing cleaned out the spare room and cleaned the kitchen.

My oldest brother had to drag himself out of bed at half ten to get up and mind his four year old girl who was up and dressed herself. My dad gave her breakfast as my brother was having a lie in as he does every day.

Any way my dad then said to me at lunch time while I was makin a few sambos "Could someone not have went down tot he shop and bought bread iv to go down now"...I responded......."well why dont you ask some one to go down"....then he said I was being smart anyway I ended up just stormin of because I clearly do house work along with my mother who works full time.

I dont know what im lookin for here im just pissed of at my dad givin out to me while my brother is sat down stairs now on front of the telly and he will sit there for the rest of the day while his little girl is stick in the house. I cant stand my brother and im pissed of my dad said that to me....Hes just a leech whos gonna be livin here with them forever doing ****ing nothing....

How can I stop myself being so pissed of with him for being a scroungy kancker....My mam n dad never say anything to him but the tension in the house over him his horrible hes been back livin here three years I think he went to look at a place once....He also goes from job to job and never last him them because he treats the staff like **** hes a chef........I dunno what im lookin for here my heads just melted

Distorted

For goodness sake, move out, get a job and make your own life! Just about everyone I went to uni with managed this at 18, I'm sure its possible!

Maple

OP, I've edited your post to make it more legible.

I have also moved it to Personal Issues where it is more suited.

Maple

Sooopie

I would do my upmost to get the hell out of there ASAP

tbh

so my advice would be to stop comparing the way you are treated with the way your brother is treated. It's pointless. You have your life, he has his. You make your choices, he makes his - and he has to deal with the consequences of his actions. Getting annoyed at his behaviour isn't going to get you anywhere but stressed - there's nothing you can practically do, you can't influence the situation.

You're annoyed at what your dad said to you - that'll pass. You're going to college, you're going to be moving on, the situation you're in now is temporary so don't do or say anything now that you'll regret later.

Keep your head down, do what you think is right, whether others do it or not. At the end of the day, you judge yourself on your own standards - if you think you should help out at home to compensate for the rent, then that's what you need to do so that you feel good about yourself. If your brother makes a different choice, that's up to him.

Lollipops23

Distorted wrote: »

For goodness sake, move out, get a job and make your own life! Just about everyone I went to uni with managed this at 18, I'm sure its possible!

It's not always possible actually- this is something I've noticed on boards a fair few times, not all 18 year olds are in a position to pay college fees and rent and living expenses.

It's quite a bit harder on a young person starting college nowadays than when I was going-and I only graduated 2 years ago! Fees are well up and part-time jobs are far harder to come by.

OP, I completely understand your frustration. When there's a tense atmosphere in a house even little comments like your dad's can drive people insane. I would suggest attempting to explain calmly to him that you're up to your eyes in housework and suggest your bro take the kid for a nice walk and hit the shops on the way.

Neyite

You cant change your brothers attitude or lifestyle no more than he could change yours. Dont try.

Chances are that your dad was annoyed at the situation and took it out on the one person least likely to get up in his face about it, you. Its not right, but your dad is human and flawed like the rest of us.

You know that you are pulling your weight around the house thats all that matters- occasionally you could check in with your parents that they are still happy with the arrangement. They will soon notice when you are not there to do them, but unfortunatly I suspect it will be your mother who will bear responsibility of picking up the slack on top of her days work.

LegacyUser

You sound very responsible and caring towards your parents, best to keep it that way but guaranteed your Mum and Dad appreciate the hard work you do around the house. Agree with what poster Neyite said, your Dad just wanted to vent his anger and I'm sure it was said loud enough for your older brother to hear.
What you could do is have a pint with your Dad or a private chat when there's nobody else around and apologise to him for sounding smart but tell him you were a little frustrated because of the workload you had completed that morning and simply didn't have time to include shopping. One bit of advice I find these chats are better outside the home when people are more calm and open to discussion.
Keep the faith, you're doing everything right and once you get to college you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.

KittyeeTrix

where_is_my_bleedin_toast wrote: »

You sound very responsible and caring towards your parents, best to keep it that way but guaranteed your Mum and Dad appreciate the hard work you do around the house. Agree with what poster Neyite said, your Dad just wanted to vent his anger and I'm sure it was said loud enough for your older brother to hear.
What you could do is have a pint with your Dad or a private chat when there's nobody else around and apologise to him for sounding smart but tell him you were a little frustrated because of the workload you had completed that morning and simply didn't have time to include shopping. One bit of advice I find these chats are better outside the home when people are more calm and open to discussion.
Keep the faith, you're doing everything right and once you get to college you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I think this is very good advice OP................

Try have a little chat with your dad, us parents can speak aloud sometimes without thinking and put our feet in it. Chances are the comment wasn't directed at you.

For what it's worth, you sound like a very decent responsible lad and honestly, you'll succeed in life whilst your brother remains stuck at home!!!
It'll all be worth it in the end:)

It's not always possible actually- this is something I've noticed on boards a fair few times, not all 18 year olds are in a position to pay college fees and rent and living expenses.

It's quite a bit harder on a young person starting college nowadays than when I was going-and I only graduated 2 years ago! Fees are well up and part-time jobs are far harder to come by.

+1 on this....................................different people have different situations!!!!