Assertive!!!

LegacyUser

Regular poster on boards here. Just want to brush the issue of being assertive. Basically I'm not and I end up getting screwed over again and again and again. It makes sick to my stomach that I continuously get walked all over by friends and family at great expense to myself in almost every aspect of my life.

I am incredibly easy going, so much so that I allow myself to be walked over without offering any consequences and when things go wrong I often get the blame. It's reached the point where I don't care anymore and that I can't cope with the demands of others. At the moment I work 7 days a week and I haven't been paid in nearly 2 months. In that particular situation, being stuck for money now is driving me to insanity. Two years ago, I worked an entire summer without time off from the moment I finished my college exams until the time I had to return. I essentially had to see a Counsellor when I struggled to control my anger issues as I almost had a 'Falling Down' moment.

I never get angry with people when I need to or ask for what I deserve or what I owed. It's affecting me deeply and I don't know what to do. I basically have no social life at the moment and I do not drink. I also have no confidence what so ever and my ability to manage stress is gone. I suffer from psoriasis and with stress it gets worst with has knock on effects that create a vicious cycle of further anxiety and stress. Is there anywhere I can go or something I can do to become more assertive before it becomes to late and I completely buckle and give in.

Tricia1

First observation- you don't drink.

That's a plus in many peoples eyes.

LegacyUser

It sounds like it would be a good idea if you took a few days off work. You sound mad stressed and I'm sure your doctor would be happy to give you a cert for the time, as you are even having a physical response to it. If you've been working so insanely for the last while you can hopefully justify it financially and your employers will have to accept the cert. I'd say if you can relax a little and get some breathing room from one stressful aspect of your life, it'll be easier to try tackling the problems your experiencing.

Curry Addict

i second that, you are burnt out. go to the doctor in the morning you are suffering from stress.

whatdoicare

Hold on - you haven't been paid in two months and you're working 7 days a week?? Why are you even doing that? That's crazy!

Kimia

Just stop. Stop everything. Stop working 7 days a week. Stop working AT ALL until you get your 2 months back pay. Stop doing things you don't want to do and stop getting angry at yourself then for agreeing to do things you don't want to do.

Then take some quiet time, sit down and think to yourself, why are you so afraid of standing up for youself? Why do you think you are so worthless that you should be a meek little shadow, where everyone else's needs come before your own?

No one else is going to take the reins of your life and tell everyone how to treat you. You teach people how to treat you and right now you are holding a massive sign above your head saying 'shít on me'.

Tell yourself you're worth something every day. Read self-help books. Meditate. It'll get better but you have to take control.