cheating and falling in lovr

LegacyUser

OK before i begin I know ill get slated for this so dont hold back.

Had been going out with a guy for years and we broke up. However after a while apart and a lot of drama, fights, ex sex, more fights and tears we decided we wanted to be together...he was always much more on for us than I was throughout this period. So I agreed and we are"happily back together". But the thing is I met someone shortly after this. Someone I clicked with, laughed with, and someone I actually genuinely wanted a relationship with. And unfortunately I let myself kiss him. I am in constant contact with this new man now, grabbing pockets of time where I dont see my boyfriend with him. I am falling in love with this new man.

I know I need ro end my relationship - but I just cant bring myself too - after all we went thru, and then agreeing to get back together, how can i break his heart again by telling him this? He is a good man, just not who I should be in a relationship with. When we broke up before he ended up becoming depressed and is still getting over this. How can I make this worse by ending things. But at the same time how can I deny myself being with someone I could have an amazing relationship with. I need someone to shake me, and yet not one person knows I am in this situation because I am so worried about my boyfriend finding out!

I am a friend

Well you didn't murder anyone but you are not treating your bf fairly. You know what you have to do and to be Frank, you are being a coward about it. I can't figure how you can even look at your bf while you are having a fling behind his back.

Do the decent thing and to it straight away. Your bf deserves someone who will treat him well

LegacyUser

BE CAREFUL.Follow your heart but don't ignore your head. You are in a situation that could end three ways 1) Your boyfriend could end up heartbroken, 2) you could be with this other guy and realise that he was fillling some void and 3) you could end up alone. Which one can you see a future with. Lust and Love and a very thin line and you need to think carefully about what you should do.Write a list ( destroy this after) of both your men, which one wants the same things as you in life, which one will support you when the tough times roll in, who is going to be there bringing you cups of tea when your sick. Best of Luck

dellas1979

I was reading down though your post, and I thinking like "why cant she do it-whats wrong with her?" and then I saw that you personally feel responsible for him and his depression.
You cant be making yourself unhappy to keep him happy, you know??

Esoteric_

I'm not gonna slate you because even though you're doing wrong, you do seem to want to make it right, but feel responsible for your boyfriend.

At the end of the day, if your boyfriend is depressed, he needs a doctor to make him better. That is not your job and you can't leave yourself unhappy just to make him a bit happier. Sometimes things don't work out in relationships and it's better he deals with this now than 2 years down the line, when he's convinced everything is perfect. Yeah, it's gonna hurt him and you'll feel like a horrible cow for a while, but it's better for you BOTH in the long run.

Don't deny yourself happiness just for the sake of not hurting your boyfriend. He needs a chance to move on and find someone who will make him happy, too.