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Shamed myself with txt

  • 20-08-2011 3:06pm
    #1
    blubells
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭


    im in a 13 year relationship, i love him but not sure if im actually in love with him anymore, anyhow sent one of his friends a text saying that i fancied him dont want to cheat on my boyfriend or anything caus i actually hate cheating. it was a drunken text and im so embarassed and feel like a right slag for doing this to my boyfriend. i know i should have guts to break up with boyfriend if im even thinking of this but long story we have house together etc no kids but messy situation.im so mortified and dont know what i would of done if his friend wasnt so loyal, im well aware i should be glad to have a good man and not act like a spoilt beatch:(:mad::o:confused:confused::confused:


Comments

  • #2
    Billy7878
    Closed Accounts Posts: 78 ✭✭Billy7878


    blubells wrote: »
    im in a 13 year relationship, i love him but not sure if im actually in love with him anymore, anyhow sent one of his friends a text saying that i fancied him dont want to cheat on my boyfriend or anything caus i actually hate cheating. it was a drunken text and im so embarassed and feel like a right slag for doing this to my boyfriend. i know i should have guts to break up with boyfriend if im even thinking of this but long story we have house together etc no kids but messy situation.im so mortified and dont know what i would of done if his friend wasnt so loyal, im well aware i should be glad to have a good man and not act like a spoilt beatch:(:mad::o:confused:confused::confused:

    wow his friend, that's selfish, not only do have you fallen out of love with him, but you also want to destroy his social network, you should do him a favour and leave him so he can find a committed life partner, whats next his brother? Embarrassment and shame are no way to end 13 year relationship if you know the truth that you cannot see it through, do the decent thing and set him free before you ruin his trust/love in people....


  • #3
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    You don't know if you are in love with your boyfriend? I'd say blatantly texting one of his mates with a come-on means it's pretty much a certainty that you don't - or at the very least the relationship is on it's last legs...

    What advice do you want? If you don't want to be in a relationship then be honest and get out - it's really the only option available to you that doesn't involve living a complete lie; which wouldn't be healthy for anyone involved.

    All the best


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi bluebells.

    Well, yeah, it was a ****ty thing to do but you clearly know it was wrong and you're feeling bad about it, so that's all there is to be said about it really. Done is done. There is no point in beating yourself up about it anymore than you are already.

    Thirteen years is a long time. Even if you are sure you want to leave (are you?), maybe you and him should do some counselling. It might help with the transition. Unfortunately there are no easy ways out of a relationship of that length, but in the long run it is easier if you keep things above board and do it the right way. Good luck with whatever you decide.


  • #5
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    Oh lord....

    Your oh deserves so much more than that humiliation. You need to set him free to meet someone else who will respect him. Am surprised his friend has not told him.


  • #6
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    Use this text as a wake-up call. You're staying with your boyfriend, who you don't think you love any more, for all the wrong reasons. Convenience perhaps? The fear of being alone and starting again? You sound like you're trying to convince yourself that you should stay with him because he's a good man. Then of course there's the messiness of the house etc. which mean you can't just walk away. So far you're lucky that his friend doesn't appear to have said anything to him but you can't guarantee that that will always be the case. I reckon you've got a lot of soul-searching to do with regards to this relationship. Do you think there is anything you can do to improve it or should you walk away?


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  • #7
    StillWaters
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,799 ✭✭✭StillWaters


    I'm no psychologist, but my guess is you sent to text, hoping your bf would eventually get wind, and finish the relatiionship, hence saving you of being the bad guy. Not purposefully OP, all under the influence, whilst inhibitions are low, in vino veritas etc.

    My advice... be a decent person, stop the games, and finish the relationship.


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