A woman

LegacyUser

Ok advice would be nice

I fancy this girl that i work with and just found out she is single quite a while. The problem is that she is very quite.

Also she does not even work in the same building as me so its a bit awkward.I have never had any social interaction with this girl but would like to ask her out.... Anyone any ideas how i would approach this, especially from a womans point of view.

The problem is i have no good reason to make small talk with this girl, should i just email her and ask her out perhaps?

I dont have any daily contact with this girl so it will be completely random

Anyone any suggestions for me

Thanks in advance

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

If you sent an email, would she even know who you are?

Why not the next time you see her, give her a winning smile, comment on the weather or something. Once you have built up something of a rapport, it won't be strange if you invite her out for lunch or something.

If she is shy she may be a little freaked out getting a random email out of the blue from a guy she doesn't know.

She would know me alright, i have sent her a few emails in the past alright in relation to work but now i have no reason to email her as we have both moved departments. I rarely see her these days so the winning smile might not be an option.

Tricia1

It seems to me that you would be asking her out, out of the blue which would be seriously not doing yourself any favours.

Also, first and foremost don't forget that you are in a professional environment in work, so you have to be seen to be acting professionaly.

I agree with the other poster- you have to start off with building up a bit of a rapport with her.

As has been said, be friendly, helpful, happy etc..and see if you can gauge it when you run into her.

Work relationships are usually slow-burners where two people realise that something is there.

You need to work on this long-term. If you can be nice etc when you run into her then great, but it may take time for the rapport to muster.

Also a word of warning- don't stalk the girl! Genuinely running into her during the day is fine, but don't start being where she is all the time because it will freak her out.

work on it.

LegacyUser

Tricia1 wrote: »

It seems to me that you would be asking her out, out of the blue which would be seriously not doing yourself any favours.

Also, first and foremost don't forget that you are in a professional environment in work, so you have to be seen to be acting professionaly.

I agree with the other poster- you have to start off with building up a bit of a rapport with her.

As has been said, be friendly, helpful, happy etc..and see if you can gauge it when you run into her.

Work relationships are usually slow-burners where two people realise that something is there.

You need to work on this long-term. If you can be nice etc when you run into her then great, but it may take time for the rapport to muster.

Also a word of warning- don't stalk the girl! Genuinely running into her during the day is fine, but don't start being where she is all the time because it will freak her out.

work on it.

Cheers for the advice, i had a bit of a laugh when you mentioned stalking

Tricia1

non registered wrote: »

Cheers for the advice, i had a bit of a laugh when you mentioned stalking

Seriously, girls can sense this a mile off!.

Nothing wrong with genuinely running into her, but appearing everywhere she is- isn't on.

As i said- first and foremost your employment is paramount (especially the way things are nowadays) so you have to been seen to be acting professionaly.

Work relationships are notriously slow-burners, you need to build up a rapport with the girl in question- long-term.

LegacyUser

From a girls perspective.
If a guy I knew of in work, who I had the odd bit of contact with in the past over emails / whatever, asked me out over an email, I would be flattered, not freaked out.
As long as it was written in a completely genuine fashion, with a bit of small talk in it to, and not just "I was wondering, would you like to go on a date?" then I wouldnt be at all freaked out. Honestly, girls like to be asked out.
I would think it took guts, and I would be complimented.
And as for the stalking thing!! Haha, you have given no one any reason to think you would be stalking this girl, so thats a bit out there.
Ask her out I say, if she likes you she'll be only thrilled. Plus, I am kind of shy / quiet too so its not about that at all.

Tricia1

I disagree.

If the OP does that he is asking this girl out, completely out of the blue after having minimal contact with her.

Also as he is in a professional enviornment at work- he has to be extremely careful.

The e-mail thing isn't the way to go because it will more than likely freak this girl out.

The guy should establish if something is there first before doing something spur-of-the-moment on company e-mail.

Also don't forget colleagues talk- it will emerge that he has done this in no time. Also there's a risk there he could send this to anybody in the company accidently or she could replying to it.

Not the way to go.

karaokeman

Don't ask her out over email.

Next time you have a conversation with this woman talk about music, the weather etc.

As soon as she's leaving pop the question "hey if your free would you like to meet me for lunch anyday this week?".

Simple as, if she says no move on to the next girl.

Plenty of people ask others out in work. Its no different from asking a girl out in school or college who is in your class/lectures etc.

Also don't listen to any of these "stalkerish" comments. You have done sweet f. all in your post to suggest being a stalker. As long as you see her randomly and don't go anywhere you overheard her mentioning to a friend, you will be fine.

Tricia1

karaokeman wrote: »

Don't ask her out over email.

Next time you have a conversation with this woman talk about music, the weather etc.

As soon as she's leaving pop the question "hey if your free would you like to meet me for lunch anyday this week?".

Simple as, if she says no move on to the next girl.

Plenty of people ask others out in work. Its no different from asking a girl out in school or college who is in your class/lectures etc.

Also don't listen to any of these "stalkerish" comments. You have done sweet f. all in your post to suggest being a stalker. As long as you see her randomly and don't go anywhere you overheard her mentioning to a friend, you will be fine.

Nobody's suggested the guy is a stalker. Read the previous posts again.

Secondly, he needs to build up a rapport with her- long-term to actually establish if anything is there.

Asking her out after minimal contact/meetings isn't the way to go, he needs to do it in future when he has an idea that she likes him.

Tricia1

As has been said, you just have to be professional while you're at work.

You actually aren't being professional asking a colleague out using the company e-mail.

Don't get me wrong people do have crushes/ fancy each other at work and as i said they see each other from time-to-time and feelings develop over time, usually the guy asks the girl out at something like a work do.

I know that you want to to be going out with this girl right now, but you have to be seen to be being professional- i.e. doing what the company is paying you to do.

It can be hard but it has to be done- being professional.

The girl situation will work itself out over time.

E-mail is risky and your work colleagues will suss out it happened in no time. You don't need the hassle.