Girls- is male strength frightening?

Matthew23

I am not a big guy and in school i know i was pretty scared of the fact that alot of guys were basicaly twice as strong as me. it just felt like if they wanted to beat me up i would have no chance of fighting back. because men are stronger do women have that fear too? is there fear in your mind when you think, wow that man has twice my strength? or is it not an issue for you because most men are not going to attack you for no reason?

gargleblaster

IMO, no. In and of itself, it is not.

It can be, but that is dependent on situational context as well as the individual's attitude and demeanor.

I_am_LOST

No - I would only find it scary if, say, I was walking home on my own late at night and got hit on by some stranger and he wouldn't go away. In that kind of situation, I'd be scared if the guy was huge and obviously could overpower me.

In other circumstances, no

lace

I'm don't usually find men's strength scary. I'm super weak with bad joints so pretty much anyone could beat me up if they really wanted to (women and children included) :P .

It can be a little intimidating in some situations, like when someone is getting all up in your face or you feel a little cornered. Even then, it's moreso a fear od unstable personality or lack of self control rather than a fear of the actual physical strength of the person.

Storminateacup

Nope. I'm tiny - only 5'2, so I find my boyfriends strength comforting. We were in Barcelona last summer, and walking from a bar back to the hotel in the early hours of the morning when some guy tried assault him. My boyfriend handed his ass to him -- and it kind of frightened me to see him be so violent, but he later explained that he was taking no chances of that guy getting up and attacking me, thus why he made sure he wouldn't get up!

That makes me feel safe. And it's not something I understood so much before

Ickle Magoo

A man's size or physical presence is not even a consideration in isolation...I know some very big guys and yet I'm not unnerved by them and I have been around some smaller guys and made an effort to stay clear/get away from them - so it's not so much size that makes me nervous as intent, context and general aggression/bad attitude.

Princess Peach

I used to be. I was hit by a guy before and it was in my head for years how almost any guy could get me to the ground no matter how many self defense or kickboxing classes I went to, just cause of their strength.

Come to terms now that not all guys have the violent nature that he did. I know who guys who pick fights a lot and I wouldn't go out with them. If they have tempers with other guys its easier for them to turn their temper on me. I know its a silly way to think but it would always be on the back of my mind. With a guy now who I know would never use it against me, or another guy.

I do get scared walking home late at night, which I have to do often. Probably a horrible thing to say, but I don't trust stranger guys at night! Keep the head down and walk fast. I often have dreams of getting hit by guys and I'm just powerless to defend myself. Scary stuff!

mariebeth

In one word: no. I don't go around with the idea that every man who's bigger than me could hurt me, because if I was like that, I'd probably be afraid of my own shadow. It's good to be safety conscious at times, but not to the point where every guy is a potential abuser/rapist.

Scarinae

I often forget how much stronger men are, until I have a tickling fight with my boyfriend. He ALWAYS wins :mad:

Kiera

I was in my apt a while ago and my neighbour and a few of his work mates called in for drinks. We got pretty drunk as the night went by and one of the lads was messing with me showing me his "army" moves (they're all in the army). I was messing back and throwing kicks over his head (i'm double jointed and my limbs go each and every way ((hence the double fractured wrist i have now from falling) not a good thing. This little fecker (at most 5'7)pushed me on to an arm chair and got me in a way that my arms and legs were locked. I have never felt so panicked in my life. the more i screamed the more he tightened on me. The other lads grabbed him off me and kicked him out.

But i have never ever felt frightened by a man's strength until that night. Now, it will not make me frightened by men in future but it was a little lesson for me to learn.

I'm not as strong as i think and i'm not as jelly as i think and cant get out of every kind of lock. That also goes for a woman pulling those moves on me so its equal.

Logical Fallacy

Storminateacup wrote: »

My boyfriend handed his ass to him -- and it kind of frightened me to see him be so violent, but he later explained that he was taking no chances of that guy getting up and attacking me, thus why he made sure he wouldn't get up!

I can completely understand where your boyfriend was coming from. If i am out and about on my own and trouble starts i would always try and give the person every chance to walk away. If they were swinging at me i would just dump them on their ass and leave them there seeking to do as little damage as possible. A quick trip or shove would normally be the end of it.

If i was out with my girlfriend and something started i would ensure it ended as swiftly as possible in a manner they wouldn't get up from. I would be thinking about the possibility of getting put down myself and her being open to attack, or multiple attackers and the like.

It does change the game a little to know that someone you love might be in danger as well.

Evaex

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

I can completely understand where your boyfriend was coming from. If i am out and about on my own and trouble starts i would always try and give the person every chance to walk away. If they were swinging at me i would just dump them on their ass and leave them there seeking to do as little damage as possible. A quick trip or shove would normally be the end of it.

If i was out with my girlfriend and something started i would ensure it ended as swiftly as possible in a manner they wouldn't get up from. I would be thinking about the possibility of getting put down myself and her being open to attack, or multiple attackers and the like.

It does change the game a little to know that someone you love might be in danger as well.

Do you have any training to deal with such a situation, or do you rely purely on raw aggression?

Tefral

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

I can completely understand where your boyfriend was coming from. If i am out and about on my own and trouble starts i would always try and give the person every chance to walk away. If they were swinging at me i would just dump them on their ass and leave them there seeking to do as little damage as possible. A quick trip or shove would normally be the end of it.

If i was out with my girlfriend and something started i would ensure it ended as swiftly as possible in a manner they wouldn't get up from. I would be thinking about the possibility of getting put down myself and her being open to attack, or multiple attackers and the like.

It does change the game a little to know that someone you love might be in danger as well.

This....

Red mist descends and all logical thought would go out the window should someone try harm someone I care for.

I think its reffered to as Dumb strength ha ha

Kiera

Kiera wrote: »

I was in my apt a while ago and my neighbour and a few of his work mates called in for drinks. We got pretty drunk as the night went by and one of the lads was messing with me showing me his "army" moves (they're all in the army). I was messing back and throwing kicks over his head (i'm double jointed and my limbs go each and every way ((hence the double fractured wrist i have now from falling) not a good thing. This little fecker (at most 5'7)pushed me on to an arm chair and got me in a way that my arms and legs were locked...................

That's desperate, what a numpty, he'll no doubt get his arse handed to him if he carries on like that too often.

Logical Fallacy

Evaex wrote: »

Do you have any training to deal with such a situation, or do you rely purely on raw aggression?

Training (many years spent arsing around with assorted Martial Arts), experience (spent about a decade doing door work and the like in some rough spots) and, if i am honest, i can be a pretty aggressive guy if someone threatens a loved one.

When it's me i can keep a cool head no problem, but when it's someone else I find it much harder to stifle the anger. I'm good at talking down situations, i can normally turn someone who wants to punch me into a friend in about 10 minutes...it's a valuable trick on the doors...but if someone threatened my girlfriend the only thing i'd be able to say is "AAAAAAAAAAAAARH!"

Giselle

I'm very small and I've had the experience of being lifted off my feet from behind with my arms held down, by a huge stranger. I was terrified because I was helpless. It was just too easy for a big strong guy to take away all my power.

Its all very well saying martial arts and self defence classes will help - they do - but ultimately a big aggressive man can easily overpower me (or a big aggressive woman for that matter).

So basically strength doesn't bother me, aggression does.

Luckily most people aren't aggressive or threatening.:)

Logical Fallacy

Giselle wrote: »

Its all very well saying martial arts and self defence classes will help - they do - but ultimately a big aggressive man can easily overpower me (or a big aggressive woman for that matter).

Self defence classes (or at least good ones) will be more about threat assessment and the best ways to avoid trouble. Simple things like "well lit main roads = good, badly lit side roads = bad" and stuff like that.

At the end of the day, against a dedicated attacker who has the element of surprise on their side there is often not a lot that can be done. It's really that simple.

Sonics2k

I assisted teaching a Women's self defence class for a while.

And I have to be honest, a lot of women truly have the wrong idea about how to best defend themselves from a man, no matter the size.

So many women seem to believe that a swift kick to the balls will help them get away, when in fact it will make a bad situation much much worse.
One of the best things a woman can do, is a strong kick, or even drag the heels of your high heels, to the shin bone. It hurts like hell, will slow them down a lot, but won't be enough to send them into a blind rage.

/ontopic
I'm a pretty big guy myself, about 6"2, and with about 14 years of martial arts under my belt I'm always cautious about my strength and possibly hurting a girl without meaning to.
However, with so many short blokes I know, they really do seem to suffer from Short Man Syndrome and will try to show off their strength and hurt a girl much like in Keira's story.

edit:
Then again, some of you women are disturbingly strong at times! Vicious tiny hands! :P

g'em

Sonics2k wrote: »

And I have to be honest, a lot of women truly have the wrong idea about how to best defend themselves from a man, no matter the size.

I'd be a fairly freakishly strong woman and I would never, ever consciously try to square up to a guy unless it was in a situation where I had no way to escape. Likewise I've never wanted to take self-defense lessons because I'd be afraid of a false-confidence they'd give me - that's not to take away from the kind of teaching that you've done though Sonics, do you mind me asking what kind of things you would teach?

But back OT by and large though I'm not at all afraid of a man's strength on a day to day basis, I find it a very attractive quality tbh given my sport of choice

Sonics2k

g'em wrote: »

I'd be a fairly freakishly strong woman and I would never, ever consciously try to square up to a guy unless it was in a situation where I had no way to escape. Likewise I've never wanted to take self-defense lessons because I'd be afraid of a false-confidence they'd give me - that's not to take away from the kind of teaching that you've done though Sonics, do you mind me asking what kind of things you would teach?

But back OT by and large though I'm not at all afraid of a man's strength on a day to day basis, I find it a very attractive quality tbh given my sport of choice

When I was teaching I was living in a suburb of Sydney in a place called Marrickville which was close to another area called Redfern.
Both area's were quite dangerous, and was basically a mixed point for the various gangs around the area.

The self-defence I taught was based on experience I'd picked up as well as the typical way a person would attack. So a lot of it would be based on when someone grabs you from behind, and the best/safest ways of getting away.

In those classes I didn't teach the women how to fight, it was more how to break a hold and get away safely.
In fact as you said, one of the key things was to teach the difference between getting away safely and getting into a fight.

In the words of Rincewind the Wizard - "Run away, so I can run away another day" :P

rainbow kirby

g'em wrote: »

I'd be a fairly freakishly strong woman and I would never, ever consciously try to square up to a guy unless it was in a situation where I had no way to escape. )

I did martial arts for 12 years and would be of the same view. At the end of the day, it's all too possible for someone who is big enough or strong enough to overpower me with sheer physical strength.

Princess Peach

I do kickboxing and it really scares me when I have to pair up with a guy! You really can feel the difference in their punches to the girls. Always terrified the pads will slip and I'll be unconscious on the floor from a punch to the head! The coach would only ever pair girls with guys if there was an odd number and no other choice.

Another thing that reminds me of their strength. I've been doing it over a year now, but even if I was paired with a guy who it was his first week, I can tell already he punches harder than me.

iguana

I never used to think about it that much until I started doing a lot of martial arts. I'm tiny but I'm very strong for my size so while I never thought I could hold my own against a man I didn't ever feel helpless either. But doing proper sparring with men was a massive eye-opener. Men aren't just proportionally stronger based on being bigger. They are just built differently and have a lot more power. Fighting with a man is honestly like coming up against a superhero. I was at a point physically where I was never fitter, stronger or tougher but I felt like a cat sparring with a rottweiler.

--LOS--

No I would only be scared if I had reason to be, not purely because they are a guy and possess a strength that women don't.

Maple

Depends on the situation and context and the attitude of the man involved.

I was sexually assaulted when I was younger, I woke up to find a guy in bed beside me with one hand up my top and one hand down my bottoms, I have never felt so powerless or afraid in my life because I was physically incapable of shoving him off me. I had to try and reason with him while trying to pull his hands off my body. It was horrific.

Thankfully the men thus far in my life have never made me feel unsafe or threatened physically.

Emme

Maple wrote: »

Depends on the situation and context and the attitude of the man involved.

I was sexually assaulted when I was younger, I woke up to find a guy in bed beside me with one hand up my top and one hand down my bottoms, I have never felt so powerless or afraid in my life because I was physically incapable of shoving him off me. I had to try and reason with him while trying to pull his hands off my body. It was horrific.

Thankfully the men thus far in my life have never made me feel unsafe or threatened physically.

You're lucky you were able to reason with him even though what happened was horrible.

I don't find strength intimidating, but I'm not comfortable around aggressive men regardless of how fit or unfit they are. Even a weakling can do a lot of damage with a broken bottle.

Maple

Emme wrote: »

You're lucky you were able to reason with him even though what happened was horrible.

You presume wrong.

I only got out of there because he passed out.

And I don't think lucky is an appropriate adjective here at all.

PK2008

Sonics2k wrote: »

I assisted teaching a Women's self defence class for a while.

And I have to be honest, a lot of women truly have the wrong idea about how to best defend themselves from a man, no matter the size.

So many women seem to believe that a swift kick to the balls will help them get away, when in fact it will make a bad situation much much worse.........

Not sure about this ......Im a big bloke but if a woman kicked me in the balls I'd hit the ground like a bag of sick.....


....not that I attack women or anything

Ickle Magoo

PK2008 wrote: »

Not sure about this ......Im a big bloke but if a woman kicked me in the balls I'd hit the ground like a bag of sick.....


....not that I attack women or anything

The trouble is if she misses, he catches her foot, or she don't kick hard enough then any situation that is serious enough to have warranted kicking a man's genitals is at risk of getting much worse for her.

Logical Fallacy

Yeah, a dude can work through a shot to the nads when he has to. I've done it plenty of times in assorted sports or sticky situations on the door. You stay moving and deal with it after. It's not a default way to put a guy down at all.

It's also assuming an attacker is coming straight at you...I would say this may not always be the case. Alertness and speed are the best defence for anyone, male or female. The body is hardwired to avoid harm...you get nervous feelings and little signals for a reason. If you are walking down the street and think the person behind you means you harm, cross the road. See if they are really following you or if it's just some throwback alarm going off in your DNA.

If i have an attacker who outweighs me considerably, has a better reach, is stronger by a decent factor and I can assume he has more experience in violent situations then i need to admit i am the underdog and work to extricate myself from the situation as swiftly as possible.

Sonics2k

PK2008 wrote: »

Not sure about this ......Im a big bloke but if a woman kicked me in the balls I'd hit the ground like a bag of sick.....


....not that I attack women or anything

It's an anger thing.
A male is much more likely to become highly and viciously aggressive if hit in the testicles. They're much more likely to cause severe physical pain as a form of "payback".
Basically they'll go into a blind rage and what could be a -simple- mugging, suddenly become a severe assault.

The classes I taught (and I believe most women's self defence classes) teach about the quickest methods of escape, as the odds are a mugger is going to target a woman who is smaller and less likely to be able to put up a fight.
The typical attack comes from behind, so I'd teach the best ways of breaking a hold and means of escape, eg a foot to the shin or the back of your head into their nose as hard as possible.

Also, you'd be amazed how much damage a high heel scrape down the front of your sheen can hurt like hell, as well as making chasing a person much harder and not worth the effort.

Emme

Maple wrote: »

You presume wrong.

I only got out of there because he passed out.

And I don't think lucky is an appropriate adjective here at all.

I agree that these situations can be terrifying, I've been in a similar scenario myself but the guy didn't pass out. I'll say no more because it's off topic.

A guy who is big, strong, fit and in control of himself is less frightening than a smaller, weaker less fit guy who is drunk and aggressive.

Lady von Purple

I used to be a bit wary of my OH when we went out first- he is very strong, and I was completely unused to it. Now I like it. He makes me feel safe, and I really like that.

bronte

For me it's more about the vibe you get off someone...as someone else said you could encounter a small skinny person giving off a really nasty aggressive vibe and that would be frightening as hell. I had a nasty incident years ago where I was nearly assaulted and what scared me most was the really negative feeling I got from my would be attacker...luckily it was interrupted.
I've never found my boyfriend's strength anything other than comforting.

wantano

no, thankfully i've never gotten stuck in a situation where it would have worried me. I heard of a girl in our area viciously attacked recently and stories like that worry me but in the day to day of my life I wouldn't be concerned - I don't tend to be out in town after closing time but I know, things can happen anywhere.

pow wow

It crosses my mind sure, but I don't really worry about it. Unless I'm in a verbal argument and it crosses my mind at the same time, then I'll back down just in case. I know all guys don't automatically wallop girls, but I've been on the receiving end of it before and so make every effort to avoid it now.

caseyann

Matthew23 wrote: »

I am not a big guy and in school i know i was pretty scared of the fact that alot of guys were basicaly twice as strong as me. it just felt like if they wanted to beat me up i would have no chance of fighting back. because men are stronger do women have that fear too? is there fear in your mind when you think, wow that man has twice my strength? or is it not an issue for you because most men are not going to attack you for no reason?

I feel for you op.Its a awful world in life of young men in schools.I have witnessed it with family members and even some of the bigger males in my family have had issues with other males in schools.
I have never had that fear in school luckily i went to all girls school in secondary so had no reason to even consider it.

Girls do however have problems with other girls who would be more dominant and aggressive in school.

Blisterman

This thread reminds me of what my ex once said to me.

"I feel safe around you, cause I know if I had to, I'd be able to fight you off."


Didn't know what to say to that...

Logical Fallacy

robertxxx wrote: »

So basically it's perv's and track suit nob's who hit females not us big guy's.

I regularly wear tracksuits and am probably bigger than you.

Can't say that having 3 stripes running down my pants has ever made me hit anyone.

Arianna_26

Matthew23 wrote: »

I am not a big guy and in school i know i was pretty scared of the fact that alot of guys were basicaly twice as strong as me. it just felt like if they wanted to beat me up i would have no chance of fighting back. because men are stronger do women have that fear too? is there fear in your mind when you think, wow that man has twice my strength? or is it not an issue for you because most men are not going to attack you for no reason?

No, I don't fear all men because they are stronger than me. I'm cautious around men I don't know and trust my instincts before I would consider being in a situation where their superior strength could be an issue.

amacachi

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

I regularly wear tracksuits and am probably bigger than you.

Can't say that having 3 stripes running down my pants has ever made me hit anyone.

I'd be fairly sure I'm bigger than you and went almost a year wearing nothing but tracksuit-type stuff. I actually found the comfort made me want to hit people less.

Black Swan

Not sure that fear is the right word; rather caution for placing yourself at risk. No one should live in fear of someone stronger. Avoid doing the obvious risky behavior, like walking home alone drunk at night.

I've been in martial arts half my life, and instruct part-time while attending university to make ends meet. It takes years of continuous training and sparring to develop fighting prowess -- something you'll never realize in a short self-defense seminar -- so learning risk avoidance is your best bet, followed by a few break-and-run techniques. Even for the few women and men that get a few years under their belt, we do not encourage them to place themselves at physical (or legal) risk by taking a stand in the streets.